Work challenges lead to a burger and beer

My intern and I have been working on a software release all week. We ran into a problem trying to run a documentation library build and it died. We couldn't proceed any further. Support needs to intervene.

We ended up switching to other tasks. Our manager, who can be a bit of a spy, came down to visit us. He ended up suggesting that we head out early and get burgers that were 50% off on Wednesdays. H bought me a beer. Not a shabby deal at all!

Wifi extender

For a few months now, I have noticed that whenever I am in the basement of my home and I am using my phone that is connected to my wifi, the signal drops. I decided to get a wifi extender. It arrived a day early.

I just finished installing and configuring the wifi extender. It was straightforward. The signal seems better so far, but I haven't been down in the basement to fully try it. However, data in apps and videos seem to load faster so far.

I am optimistic!

Wrapping up my leadership program and being thankful

On Monday, I wrapped up my final installment of my leadership program. It has been a great learning experience.

I love to learn. It was fun participating, which I wouldn't have said when I was an undergraduate student, as I didn't enjoy speaking in front of folks. It helps to contribute, as I ended up getting off the hook when it came down to doing some of the exercises. Yay!

I spent some time writing an e-mail to my instructor, saying thanks for being supportive, encouraging, and insightful. Most people don't think of taking a moment to thank someone, but I feel obligated to. I am sad that these sessions have ended, but feel empowered with knowledge and tools to make me a better leader.

My manager will be attending this course early next month. It will be interesting to see whether any of these techniques resonate with him.

Hungry and cooking

It's past midnight and I'm hungry. The debate is whether I am truly hungry or if I need to drink some water.

I know that if I have something to eat now that it will keep me up longer. I will see if it will go away.

On Sunday, I made tuna salad. I also fried up an entire package of bacon, which will last me the whole week. I also sauteed brussel sprouts.

I enjoy cooking on weekends. It's unfortunate that weekends are so short.

My first Wild hockey game!

I have booked a trip to the Twin Cities. I am finally going to see a Minnesota Wild game.

I lived in Minnesota for a couple of years. I was there during the hockey team's inaugural year.

I couldn't get tickets during my entire time there. I put down a deposit, hoping to get tickets. Well, it has taken nearly two decades. I have a ten-pack of tickets.

My first game is in a few days. Naturally, I can't go, so I'm selling that ticket.

In October, I'm going down for my first game ever. I am so excited. I spent Saturday booking everything, so I'm ready!

Buying items that I need

It's nice when it's payday and I can get items that I have been waiting to buy. I'm either replacing broken items or am about to run out of essentials.

I went ahead and bought two Fitbit Alta chargers. I spent a good $10 on them. I need a backup in case it breaks on me again.

I also ordered two boxes of contact lenses. My usual brand isn't available, so I'm trying a different brand. I'll see how it goes. I'm currently using my last pair.

It's time to go to bed. It has been a long, but good week. Here's to the weekend!

Muscle pain ruined my sleep, but a nap made up for it

Tired. This week is the second one where I have been in the office every day.

I didn't sleep well last night. I ended up with muscle pain in my foot. I slept for four hours before I had to get ready for work. I took ibuprofen often.

I came home and took a nap a couple of hours ago. I woke up refreshed, took a shower, and I'm now unwinding by writing a post.

This weekend, I am definitely looking forward to sleeping in. I have one more day of work. I can do it.

Plans to let my incompetent colleague go

I had my usual bi-weekly talk with my manager on Tuesday. We talked about my development goals, which are coming along nicely.

He talked about my problematic colleague who is on my team. He has decided that after two years of putting up with her incompetence and tardiness that he wants to let her go.

I am currently training my student intern. Things are going well. My manager is hopeful that my intern will be successful in taking over her duties, allowing my manager to let her go from the company.

It will be an interesting rest of the year. We'll see what unfolds.

Seeing my ex-guy's car triggered bittersweet memories and emotions

It took one basic trigger to make me feel sad about the demise of my relationship with my ex-guy. After work on Thursday, I was walking over to my car and saw his parked in the lot.

Memories came back. I last sat in his car to go out for lunch in early July. Although we never had quality time in the backseat of this car, it was a reminder that cars were an important part of our relationship.

We haven't talked since early June. I have basically shut communication down.

He doesn't know that I have a new car, so he likely thought that I wasn't at work. Even if I did tell him about it, I doubt that he would have wanted to contact me at work, if he had a chance. I'm glad that he hasn't. It would also cause me to feel sad speaking to him.

As of late, I have been pretty upbeat. I am sensitive, though.

Seeing his car on Thursday was a bummer. It's the downside of dating a colleague and your relationship ends, but your employment at the company does not. Luckily, he doesn't come to the office often. Still, seeing his car in the lot for a brief period conjured bittersweet memories.

I'm better now that I have written my thoughts in this blog post. My blog provides a source of comfort, to sort out my thoughts as I continue to get through this breakup.

Hot tub, buttocks, and fantasizing about being spanked

On Instagram, I was looking at my feed and found this hot tub pic. I like how exposed her buttocks are.

I keep thinking about how sore it would be to sit on that wooden hot tub rim rim after being thoroughly spanked, with my smarting cheeks matching the colour of my swimsuit.

I appreciate this photo so much.

Fitbit Alta charger died and thinking about my next Fitbit product

I have been using a Fitbit Alta for over a couple of years. The battery is starting to not hold a charge as long as it used to.

The charger has a clip that secures the Alta while it charges. The clip broke.

Part of me is thinking about getting either the Versa Lite or Versa 2. Part of me wants to continue using the Alta until it truly does not function anymore.

I can't afford to get a new watch right now. Perhaps in a few months, I will be able to save enough for it then. Leasing a car wasn't on my radar in August. I thought that I would be doing it in January!

In the meantime, I have found a charger for my Alta for $8. I'm good with this cheaper solution.

She did it! Bianca is the U.S. Open champion in women's tennis!

Bianca Andreescu, who hails from Mississauga, is Canada's first singles winner when she won the U.S. Open yesterday.

I am so proud of her that I cried seeing her win it. She's so humble and calm, which are qualities that I appreciate, especially in such a young woman. She is mature beyond her years.

Canada is so proud! #sheTheNorth

Credit update, including a credit card renewal

I have lots of good news about building up my credit rating. For a good year, I have been working hard to rebuild it. I am slowly seeing results as I continue to pay off my debt and make more than the minimum payment each month.

I got a free account through TransUnion to check my credit rating at my convenience. Since I have been monitoring my credit rating, it has improved from being very poor to poor. Although it's still not great having a poor rating, I am out of the very poor rating level, which is a huge step. I am so pleased with my progress. I hope that a year or so from now, my credit rating will be considered fair. I'll then work my way to making it have a good rating again.

Baby steps. So far, so great.

A while back, I posted about whether a credit card company will renew my card. It expires next month. I got my replacement card on Friday. I am thrilled!

When one bank decided that I was a risk and didn't renew my credit card with a low limit ($1,000), it was quite a blow to my credit-rebuilding confidence. Even though I never missed a payment with this card, this bank decided to shut down my account because my credit rating wasn't great. My track record meant nothin at all.

With the other credit card company that decided to renew my card, I am thankful. I was hoping that it would because I do like what this card does for me. As a customer, this bank has made me feel good that it's trusts me. I can only think of a couple of times where I was late with payments, but only by a couple of days. It has given me some slack, which I appreciate.

I am pleased that I have two credit cards. They serve my needs well. I won't repeat my mistake by getting multiple credit cards when my credit rating improves. It was a trap that I won't fall for again.

Anyway, I wanted to share my good news about my financial situation. Things are looking up and I am happy.

Healing and reading my book on healing after a breakup

I managed to continue reading my book on healing after a breakup. It has been helpful.

When my ex-guy told me that he wanted to end our relationship this past May, I went through a mild panic attack. When I told him the following day, he asked whether I should see a doctor to get medication. I told him that it's sorting out my feelings about losing someone that I love and that popping pills wasn't the first thing that I needed to do.

I know how I handle this type of panic attack. It's a question of knowing that I will be okay without him and that I will find happiness with someone down the road that makes the panic attack go away.

I was right. With time and the right frame of mind, I don't experience this mild panic anymore.

However, I still have moments of sadness. According to the book, it's normal. I knew that, too. It's nice to get confirmation that I'm doing just fine as I continue healing.

Menstrual cycle and foot spasms

This week has been odd. On top of the rough start to the week, my period happened just before I left work on Tuesday morning. It's roughly four days late.

Being on my menstrual cycle drains me. As of late, they have been different. I haven't experienced a ton of cramping, likely because I am out and about. Physical activity helps.

My period also takes weird pauses. It stops for a few hours and then begins again.

Training is going well, except that my student doesn't have access to an application that he needs all the time. It's annoying that one of three approvers needs to say yes and they are all out to lunch.

My foot is going through spasms. Oh, joy! Here's hoping for better days ahead.

Bumpy first day of training, but all worked out well

My first day training my new student wasn't the smoothest, but I tend to get through things as best I can.

I arrived at work safely. I found the room where I'll be for the next two weeks. I powered up my laptop and it switched off immediately.

I then play around with the power outlets in this room. Half of them don't work.

My manager typically gives the security person and receptionist a heads-up e-mail that we are expecting a new student. He sent out nothing. I sent out an e-mail to them at around 9:05 am. The security guy is away on vacation till May 6 (what?!) and the receptionist wasn't there.

I decided to simply drop down to the waiting area after I plugged in my laptop and managed to power it up at 1% battery power.

My new student and I connected immediately. He didn't check in because the receptionist wasn't there. Instead, we checked him in with the security guy, who didn't seem like he knew what he was doing.

Then, there's his laptop. We went to our IT department and there was a sign saying that it was closed for the day. Ugh!

I contacted my helpful co-ordinator. She was pretty busy with a batch of students. She found the IT guy and let me know that my student's laptop was there. Yay!

On top of all this chaos, my manager decided to take the entire day off to run errands. Weird. It was like he was asking me if I'd be okay with that. Well, he really didn't need to be at the office, other than to greet our new student. I am fine training my student. It's not like he can or will.

Anyway, we both survived. Here's hoping for smoother training sessions ahead.

First day of a new work term and a dream about French kissing

Last night, I dreamt about my ex-guy. He said that he wanted to not only French kiss me, but to put his tongue down my mouth.

It was a strange dream. I'm not sure what it signifies.

Several hours from now, a new work term begins. Last Friday, I was given the news that our new student starts today. I wasn't prepared for such a quick start. Here's hoping that his laptop is available. Otherwise, it will be my doing a bunch of demonstrations during my training sessions.

I had a great weekend. I am looking forward to my next long weekend in over a month.

Severing a friendship after being romantically involved

I have been thinking about my ex-guy more than I should be. In the past, it has been easier to sever ties with my exes.

The issue is that he wants to stay friends with me. I find it difficult when friends often care about one another. He has hurt me by severing our relationship as a loving couple.

I feel that I need to sever the friendship or what's left of it. It makes my moving on easier. Luckily, he doesn't come into the office all that often, so it's easy. I also haven't been answering his e-mails. Again, it's easy.

Healing takes time. It's not all that easy, but it gets easier as I continue to heal.

New hairdo

I got my hair cut on Saturday. It is shorter at the back and is cut at an angle where it's longer in the front.

I used to sport this style a few years ago. It was nice of my hairdresser to suggest returning to it.

Normally, I get several inches chopped off. Considering that I am late getting to the hairdresser by a couple of months, I decided to not get as much of my hair cut. Thankfully, I can still put most of my hair in a ponytail. Perfect!

I'm happy with my new 'do.

Happy Labour Day long weekend!

I left work at 15:00 on Friday. I worked a ton of hours this week that it made sense to leave early and start enjoying the long Labour Day weekend.

I'm all packed for my little staycation. I hope to get around to getting my hair cut and indulge in some good eats this weekend.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Sadness at night

I have moments of sadness. They typically happen in bed at night.

Last night was rough. I was sad about how my ex-guy had let me go. We shared so much and everything just ended.

Poof. Just like that.

It's unfortunate that I am a sensitive, feely person. It takes me a while to sort my emotions and get over this hump. I'm not on a strict healing schedule when I need to be happy now and in a relationship. I have been good on the most part. Being busy helps. Doing what I enjoy has been therapeutic.

At night, I'm simply lying in bed. Thinking. Memories rush in. I feel sad when they are about my ex-guy.

I still haven't been able to fully cry. My eyes get teary, but they don't fall down my face. I'm not as sad as I have been in the past when he has previously broken up with me.

I know that I deserve better. I deserve to be with a good guy who loves me and wants me.

I am hopeful. I just wish that these sad moments would fade, but that will take some more time.

A break from incompetence is nearly here

My incompetent colleague is going on vacation. Today is her last day at work before I get relief from her for over a week.

She proved to me this week that she does not know how to do her job efficiently. She spent more time than necessary getting a software release out the door, making rookie mistakes, and not planning her tasks properly. She has been doing this work for over half a year.

My manager stays at work late. She was with him the whole time. He shot me an e-mail, indicating that she was taking more time than she should. I agreed and pointed out that she can't prioritize her work on top of not being efficient.

She's good at blaming other things or people. She does not take responsibility for her own actions. It's painful dealing with her.

Although her attendance has improved slightly within the last few days, she sent an e-mail yesterday that she will be at work at 7:30 am today and leaving at 3:30 pm. She cannot get to work by 10:00 am on a good day. She lives a lot closer to the office than I do. I dream of getting to work in twenty minutes.

We'll see what happens later on today. I am looking forward to a break from her.

It's time for a haircut during the long weekend

I get my hair cut twice a year. I should have got my hair cut in early July. I didn't.

Why? I got a shorter-than-normal haircut back in late December. Right now, it's at the stage where I need to get it cut, which is the length that it typically is in early July. I happen to be nearly two months late.

It's nice to be able to tie it back. When I get it cut, I won't be able to get it all in a ponytail.

I'm likely going to get it cut on the weekend. It's a long weekend, which I am looking so forward to.

My car turns heads and starts conversations, even with the windows up

My car is a conversation starter. Even when I'm stopped at a traffic light, the flame blue colour turns heads.

I was driving home from work on Monday night. I was stopped at a light. A Jeep was next to me. The guy had three car lengths ahead of him.

I looked over. He was looking at my car. Our eyes met. I had my windows up, but we could clearly read each other's lips.

"Do you love my car?" I asked him.
"Yes, the colour is beautiful," he said.
"I love it, too," I said.

He had a huge smile on his face. I gave him a thumbs up. The light turned green and we drove straight ahead before he turned right at the next light.

It's interesting how humans interact. It's also fascinating how much guys admire a nice car.

Good weekend and making friends in the dating scene

This weekend flew by. I had a great time catching up with a couple of friends who are here on vacation. I feel well-rested.

The Labour Day long weekend is coming up. I am spending most of it in my ex-guy's hometown. I was there a few weekends ago and I felt good.

Although I still have moments of sadness when I think of him and our relationship being over, I am good. I decided to put out an ad on Plenty of Fish. I have responses. I simply need to sit down and sift through them. So far, folks are nice, wanting to have coffee and chat. I'm good with that.

Baby steps into building a friendship and seeing where it'll take me. It feels like a major step, but it's a positive one for me.

Striking up a conversation over blue cars

Saturday was a great day chatting with two friends whom I haven't seen for a bit. I have known each of them since grades 8 and 9. I also enjoyed chatting with a fellow shopper.

I had parked in front of Best Buy and went in to browse. There was a grocery store across the parking lot. Instead of driving over there after I was done at Best Buy, I left my car where it was and walked over.

When I came back, both the person who had parked next to me and I were thinking of getting into our cars. We were both parked such that the driver side required one of us waiting for the other to get in. I broke the silence.

"Did you want to go in first?" I said, as I needed to put my groceries in the trunk.
"Sure. Is that your car?" he asked me.
"Yes," I replied, putting my groceries into my trunk.
"I love the colour," he said, admiring the flame blue.
"I love your car's colour, too," I said, as his was a darker blue.
"I really love the colour. It's nice," he said.
"Thanks! I love blue and it looks like you do, too," I replied, noticing his baby blue t-shirt he had on.
"It's my favourite colour, too," he said, with a huge smile on his face.

I wished him a good day. He said goodbye. It's nice that perfect strangers have something in common and great taste in car colours.

Gourmet cookies make people happy

Friday was my student's last day at work. On Thursday, I got her a box of gourmet cookies as a thank-you gift.

She told me the most endearing story on Friday. She brought the cookies home on Thursday and asked her dad to have one after dinner. They both indulged in a cookie each. He has a sweet tooth and loved it.

They both went out after dinner, separately, to different commitments. Her mom arrived home later.

When my student came home, she let her mom know that I had bought cookies for her. Her mom said that she ate four cookies -- one of each flavour. Her mom doesn't have a sweet tooth, but found the cookies scrumptious. It speaks volumes.

I would probably get along with her mom. She loved the lemon delight ones the best. It's my favourite flavour.

I buy these cookies for special occasions and people. I'm glad that I made her day and her family's.

Nut joke

My manager's wife roasted a variety of cashews, walnuts, almonds, and more. On Thursday, he brought a jar in to share with the team.

When we got to our desks after our team meeting, he put a bunch of mixed nuts on a napkin. My colleague and I were talking about something work-related. When we were done, I saw him pointing at the nuts on his napkin.

"Are you counting your nuts?" I asked him.

My colleague and I laughed. When I think about what I had said, it makes me smile. It's nice to have a good laugh at the expense of my manager.

Follow-up post to frosted acrylic paddles

I was asked to post some photos of the frosted acrylic paddles that I had described in my last post. They are on Etsy and look cool to me.

Courtesy: ClearImpactToys

I like that they are lightweight and likely pack a decent sting. There are also acrylic frat paddles, which interest me, too.

Courtesy: ClearImpactToys

There is a sale going on. I may cave and get one.

Spanking arousal caused by looking at frosted acrylic paddles

I do miss being spanked.

I haven't had a chance to explore spanking myself as of late. I have been both tired and not in the mood. However, just thinking about it today made me aroused.

What sparked my interest again was seeing a set of frosted spanking paddles. They were on sale and are acrylic. They seem to be fun and effective on a bad girl's backside, like mine.

It's fun fantasizing.

Interviewing skills and conversation

Last Thursday, my manager and I had an interview with a prospective intern. He is from my alma mater, which is a first.

He was polite and knowledgeable. My manager conducted the first half of the interview, as he had to leave to attend a meeting. I took over after that.

I like honing my interviewing skills. I don't like firing question after question, or going into a huge soliloquy. I'd rather have a conversation, which made it more comfortable for both of us.

When I asked if he had any questions towards the end of our time together, he truly opened up. I like when folks are comfortable with me, and vice-versa.

His writing and editing skills are superb. He'll do just fine.

He accepted the offer. I look forward to working with him soon.

Declutting and choosing what goes in my new car

Cleaning out my old car and figuring out what goes into my new car has been eye-opening. It has resurrected my decluttering project.

I currently have a lone umbrella in my car. That's pretty good, considering that I had seven.

I went through my USB cable situation. I have reduced the number from double digits (I lost count after ten) down to three. One is for my phone, which uses USB C. One is for guests, and the cable has both micro USB and lightning. The last one is for my iPod. Yes, I'm reintroducing music on my iPod in my car through an auxiliary cable, as this device has every song that I own and is still cool in my books.

My glove compartment has been significantly cleaned out. My car manuals, insurance, and ownership are staples. My sunglasses and glasses will be there soon. I also have bolts for my snow tires. Finally, I have a small battery jumper and a first aid kit for emergencies.

What did I get rid of? A winter hat and mittens. A ton of plastic straws and napkins. Way too many pens.

The storage area between the two front seats will have a small flashlight, hand sanitizer, plastic utensils (fork, knife, and spoon), and the aforementioned USB cables.

I got rid of a huge flashlight that does not work, oral sex gel (I had two tubes and don't have anyone to practice on these days), and a ton of car chargers with USB ports. I don't know why I had five!

I'm making good progress. I have the trunk to get through. I will probably have reusable bags, a snow brush, and my floor mats that came with the car. I'll introduce winter floor mats when it gets cooler.

It feels good to clean house and start fresh.

Changing how to secure my Sirius XM satellite radio receiver in my new car

I have a Sirius XM satellite radio receiver. In my old car, I had to get a car vent clamp to secure it. To make a long story short, I was introduced to Sirius XM radio with my first Prius. It was integrated in the car.

When I switched from my second Prius over to my Scion iM, there was no satellite integration in the latter. I have the same issue with my new car.

Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise. I can't use my vent clamp for the vents smack in the middle of the dashboard. My navigation screen has buttons that are compact. This radio isn't compact at all when you look at the cable connections. 

I can't put my radio on the far left and right vents of my car, either. I decided to use another Scosche Magic Mount holder for this radio, which works nicely. I already have one for my phone that I have been using for years. The two magnetic mounts are within the same area, with my phone mount a bit lower than the satellite radio's mount.

It's nice when I change things around. My satellite receiver doesn't look as bulky using the magnet and the magnetic mount. Yay!

I am loving my new car. It's nice to have a fun distraction.

New car!

I am a proud owner of a new Corolla hatchback! I love it.

Naturally, there were a few odd hiccups to get it on Friday. First, I had to call my insurance to get confirmation that I have this new car insured. The insurance company failed to send it to the dealership.

Second, the vehicle registration wasn't ready in time for my appointment. I went in to take care of my paperwork and settle the bill. I then came back four hours later to get the registration and my car.

Third, while my sales person installed my licence plates on the new car, the hole were larger than the bolts. Odd! He got a couple of mechanics to looking into the issue. Both hadn't seen it before!

Fourth, my last name was spelled incorrectly on a couple of forms. Thank goodness I caught them. We had to get them corrected, reprinted, and resigned.

After all of that, I drove my car around for an hour, stopping at a couple of places before heading home. I love how quiet it is. It's like driving my Prius, but a lot more fun. I am also loving the push-button technology. My previous car was the old key method.

I'll be testing it out all weekend. Yay!

Car accessories and too many umbrellas

My car is pretty close to being empty. I simply have car manuals in the glove compartment.

I am excited to get my new car several hours from now. My first stop after getting my car is likely Walmart. I need to get some blind spot mirrors and some adhesive for my phone mount. Yep, I need to accessorize!

Remember my previous post about finding four umbrellas in my car's trunk? The situation was actually worse. In the hidden trunk storage where the spare tire is, I had three smaller umbrellas there. I had a grand total of seven umbrellas in my car.

I could have used a different on every single day. Insane!

Evening outing, with good food, company, and a hand massage

Tonight was a clear, summer evening. I went out to a little function that had little desserts, pasta, meatballs, Indian curry and naan, and more. It was nice.

I brought a colleague with me, who is also a friend. She is the little sister that I never had. She had a good time. I did, too.

I got a hand massage at this function. Considering that I type a ton at work and right now, it felt so good afterwards.

Hand massages are good. I need to have more of them.

Update on cleaning out my car

I am nearly done removing my stuff from my car. I simply have a few items in my trunk. I will be ready when I return my car on Friday and get my new one.

I have been gradually removing my items each day, rather than doing it all in one shot. I have this magnetic mount (stand) for my phone. It has a 3M sticky backing. I have one replacement backing left. I am pleased that I don't need to buy some more.

I also figured out that you can stick a magnet inside your PopSocket and then stick it on the magnetic mount. Better late than not knowing!

For the longest time, I didn't think that I needed a PopSocket. I admit that it's easier to take photos with one.

Pillows of cinnamon sugar are heavenly

On Monday, I went out for dinner after work. I had a Groupon that was going to expire in a couple of days.

I have been to this restaurant a number of times. I wanted the open-faced roast beef dinner. However, I was told that they were running out of roast beef. I got a mix of turkey and roast beef. It was different! It was still yummy.

This place has these pillows of fried dough, filled with cinnamon sugar. They are delicious. I'm glad that I had them for dessert.

I will be dreaming of them all night.

Cleaning out my car and getting rid of clutter

I am in the process of moving stuff out of my car. I hand it over on Friday and pick up my new car.

It's incredible just how much stuff I have amassed in 3.5 years. I have a ton of cell phone USB cables. I only need a USB C cable. I have pretty much everything under the sun in my glove compartment.

I have also noticed that I have four umbrellas. Why do I need so many?

Anyway, I'm into minimalistic mode. With my new car, I will work on not using my car to store so much stuff.

Road trip to meet with good, supportive friends

On Saturday, I hung out with a couple of friends. I did a road trip out to a city where one of them lives. It's also where my ex-guy lives.

The interesting thing is that I didn't think about him while I was there. It was simply fun catching up with cool people over a late lunch and dessert. They made me happy.

I like being surrounded by positive, nice people. I feel good.

Sad about my ex-guy reaching out to me through a work program

My ex-guy and I work for the same company. He works from home all the time and doesn't require going into the office. I go into work three times each week and work from home for the remaining days.

Since he let me go, he has written a couple of e-mails to me through his personal account to mine. I didn't bother to reply to either. The fact that he was late to say happy birthday to me because he was his typical late self did not impress me.

My guess is that he is wondering how I am, as I am not writing back. Frankly, I need some space and don't have anything to contribute.

At work, we have a thank-you program, where you can write a little message and award some points to someone at work. It's to show your appreciation and the recipient can get something from our company's e-commerce site. We get a certain number of points dropped into our accounts every month.

Well, he sent me some points and a one-liner to say thanks for helping him out. As nice as that gesture was, it makes me sad that he ended our relationship -- that he hurt me. Yet, he thinks that things are the same. They aren't.

Fabulous lunch, wine-tasting, and good deed

I had a fabulous lunch on Thursday. I went out with my department to a new restaurant and had a vegan pizza with lots of mushrooms. It was delicious!

Later on in the evening, I went to a wine-tasting event. I got to try three different white wines, followed by three different red wines. We also had food to nibble on. I loved it.

I said hi to a person at the event. We have crossed paths for a while. She rarely talks to folks. I decided to break the ice. It worked.

At the end of the event, she asked me if I could drive her to the closest intersection, so she could catch a bus. I said yes.

After talking to her in my car for a bit, I found out that she doesn't live too far from me. I offered to drive her home. She was so appreciative that she said that she'd buy me a coffee next time.

It pays to be nice and do something nice for someone, to make that person's day and yours.

Grateful to dig myself out and have folks take a chance on me financially

I feel grateful. I got a leased car.

My credit rating took a dive roughly two years ago. My rating was stellar before I ended up being late on a few payments for nearly three months. I have been mending my credit rating for the last year.

The combination of my being with the same car dealership for nine years and having a track record of always making my payments on time helped. I like that I am trusted even though I have made mistakes with my credit in the past.

I have had one financial bank fail to renew my credit card. The credit limit was $1,000. I was never late with my payments with this card. Yet, due to my credit rating, I couldn't be trusted by this bank. I have since paid it off.

I am down to two credit cards. One of them expires in a few months. Part of me has a feeling that this credit card company will do the same thing and not renew my card. The other part of me is hopeful that it will keep me on. However, if it does let me go as a customer, I won't be hurt by it. I would be okay with a single credit card and will reconsider having a backup card down the road.

The toughest part right now is getting my downpayment on my new car paid. I was expecting to do this exercise in January. The fact that it has been moved up by half a year took me by surprise. The good news is that I was able to negotiate a lower downpayment and still have lower lease payments.

Again, I am grateful. It's amazing how you are treated when your credit rating plunges. Your payment history or track record doesn't matter to most places. Your credit rating labels you. Occasionally, there is a glimmer of hope and I got it.

New car lease

I have a new leased car. Thanks to everyone who provided details on switching to a new lease early and pointing out details that I needed to investigate. I appreciate it!

Last week, I had a talk with my manager. He loves cars and recommended getting the C-HR. I test-drove it on Wednesday and it handles well. The problem is that it has huge blindspots on the sides. The rear passenger windows are tiny and it's dark back there. I didn't feel comfortable doing shoulder checks. Down the road, if this car model is redesigned and changes are made to the passenger side windows, I'll reconsider it.

I currently have a Scion iM. It was rebranded as a Toyota iM. It is now the Corolla hatchback. It felt comfortable when I drove it. I like having a push-button start like my Priuses in the past. I like going into drive mode and giving my foot a break by pressing the Stop button. I like going into parking mode and having the emergency brake automatically engage.

It felt fun to drive, just like my current car. I didn't experience that with the C-HR.

The crazy thing is that I put less money down and my payments are much lower. I have been with Toyota for nine years, so it's nice that my track record with them has been good.

I get my car in a couple of Fridays. I need to start clearing my stuff out of my car. My glove compartment is atrocious. I will work on not doing that with my new car.

Long weekend is over... off to dreamland!

This long weekend has been great. I have returned home and return to reality later on today.

I hope that all is well with you. I'm off to dreamland in my own bed, with my own pillows. It's perfect!

Lots of walking and thoughts about pillows

On Saturday, I walked a lot. I walked an entire mall. I had a late lunch by driving over to that restaurant, and then came back and shopped some more at a plaza.

I felt good, although my feet are tired right now. It has been a good long weekend so far.

I head back home later on today. The only damper is the pillows in my hotel room. They don't support my head and neck as well as my own pillows at home do. Otherwise, I feel rested. It's a quiet hotel.

Weekend in Belleville

I'm spending this long weekend in Belleville. It's roughly a 1.5-hour drive east from where I live.

I didn't realize that Belleville has a casino. It has definitely been a learning experience!

Later on today, I am going to check out the area some more. So far, I like what I have seen. It was also nice to casually make my way over here.

The long weekend is here!

I am so glad that the long weekend is here. Friday was not the best day at work dealing with my annoying colleague who can't own up to her own actions.

I have completed packing for my mini staycation. I always feel like I am missing something, but I can always get what I am missing as I go.

I'm off to bed now. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Six months before my car lease is over

I have a leased car. The lease is six months away from being over.

Apparently, I can take my car into the dealership to get a complimentary assessment on how it is doing and options that I have, including buying it. I also have the option to break my lease and get a new car without any penalties, depending on the car that I choose, I am guessing.

This process is completely new to me. I have never had a six-month-before-the-lease assessment in my life. It must be recent, as I have leased a total of four cars in my life, including this one. I can only guess that it is to retain customers.

It seems like the trade would be from my Scion iM (it has been rebranded as the Corolla iM) to the Corolla Hatchback. I don't know whether selecting a different car model is eligible for breaking a lease and keeping my payments roughly the same. We'll see.

If you have any insight, please let me know. It's all new to me as I continue my research on cars.

August staycation and pay

It's August. Summer seems to be breezing by fast!

The long weekend is coming up. I am doing a mini staycation. I am looking forward to it.

I have a few things to pack. I have travelled a fair amount in July that pretty much everything I need is still in that one piece of luggage.

I like August. I get paid three times, which makes me feel rich for a brief period. It's good.

A compliment from my manager

I worked from home on Tuesday. I had a conference call with my manager. As usual, he was running late.

I decided to review a video that my student had redone while waiting for him. When he got on the call, he heard part of it.

"Is that our student?" he asked me.
"Yes, it's a video that she did for our new application," I replied.
"She sounds professional," he complimented.
"She does. She's the only person on my team who is professional," I noted, hinting at the clueless woman in yesterday's post.
"There's you, too. Don't forget to include you. You count as 1.5 people on the professional scale, which makes up for her deficiency," he said.

It was a nice compliment to hear. I paid it forward and shared the compliment that my student got from our manager with her.

An unprofessional e-mail

On Monday, I received this fine e-mail from my annoying colleague on my team:

Hello,

I am taking a half day off as I am so damn tired and sleepy. I also have to go to the passport office.

I will come to work on time tomorrow. I promise.

Professional, huh? It was addressed to our manager, me, and my student.

I have had a talk with her in the past that her e-mails are far too lax, don't show a whole lot of respect, and that she has completely forgotten what we had discussed. She did indeed come in late again, so she sounds like a broken record.

The annoying part is that she had way too much fun on the weekend that she can't handle getting back to the real world and work. This woman is almost the same age as I am. She is the complete opposite of me. It's unbelievable, but I have to deal with her immaturity.

She's a handful. That's for sure.

Enjoyable Sunday

On Sunday, I had a good day.

I gave myself a manicure and pedicure. Last week, I got rid of my old base coat. On Sunday, I got rid of my old top coat. My polish looks a lot better on my nails with new base and top coats.

I also wrote a lot. I find it therapeutic.

Sundays are enjoyable for me these days. I took a nap. I made myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I didn't go out. It was nice.

I now need to get through the week to look forward to the long weekend ahead.

Getting free stuff and making a cashier laugh

On Saturday, I went out to run a few errands. One of my stops was at Shoppers Drug Mart (SDM). It was having a points redemption offer.

Normally, if you have 100,000 PC Optimum points, you can redeem them towards $100 worth of items at SDM. For this entire weekend, you can get an additional $40 worth of free stuff when you redeem 100,000 points.

I took advantage of this offer. I ended up redeeming 110,000 and got $150 worth of free stuff.

I had an enthusiastic male cashier.

"It feels like I have won the jackpot today," I said.
"I wish that I had that many points. I only have 2,000," he admitted.
"It does take a bit of time to accumulate them," I noted.
"I get discounts towards snacks, so I'm getting there," he replied.
"I'd love your job!" I said, which made him laugh.

Seriously, getting discounts on snacks sounds heavenly to me.

Book on coping with a breakup and periodic thoughts about my ex-guy

A few weeks ago, I bought a book on how to cope with a breakup. I started reading the first chapter, but got busy with a couple of trips. The chapter that I did read put me at ease.

My problem isn't keeping busy. From being on vacation, and being out and about, to getting through work tasks, I don't have a chance to think about my ex-guy.

The problem occurs when I am not busy. My mind floats over to the loving moments that we had together, as well as the fact that I deserved better towards the end of our relationship. Before I go to bed, I think of him. When I am driving home and my commute is nothing to sneeze at, he pops up in my head. It just happens.

I didn't have this issue with my ex-hubby. The difference is that I loved my ex-guy. I fell out of love with the ex-hubby.

I am far from being over him. Baby steps. Gone is my mild anxiety about us not being a couple, which is a positive sign. 

This weekend, I hope to read more chapters out of this book. Perhaps my memories and thoughts of him will slowly subside.

Day off from work on Thursday and finding cheap eats

I had Thursday off from work. We had a summer work event. It was nice to kick back and have fun.

After this event, I found a small restaurant that has prices from the 60's. As an example, I had an orange ice cream float for $2. Insane!

I should go to bed. I was so tired after being out for the day that I took a fifteen-minute nap.

Busy with medical appointments, but all is well

It has been a busy couple of days with consecutive medical appointments. All is well.

My first appointment was my quarterly one with my family doctor. It was a different than the norm. She saw me, said hi, and asked who my orthopedic surgeon was. I had surgery back in 2011. I needed to do a search to find his name. Thankfully, he is still a practising surgeon.

My doctor has sciatica. I have battled it a number of times since I was 19 years of age and offered exercises to help her get some relief. It's interesting that I was providing insight to a medical professional.

On Wednesday, I had an eye injection with my ophthalmologist. I am doing exceptionally well that I am now seeing him three times a year, reducing a visit. Yay!

Stopping hunger pangs and getting soaked in the rain

After running an errand after work, I was hungry. I had dinner at one of my favourite Hakka restaurants.

The sky was grey. I risked it and didn't bring my umbrella. Bad move.

When I left the restaurant, it was pouring outside. I was parked roughly 200 metres away and was soaked by the time I got into my car. Ah, what fun!

At least I got some volume in my hair once it dried, thanks to my car's air conditioning.

Reviews, my pet fish, and the aftermath of travelling

I have had a productive Sunday. I wrote a few reviews for various businesses as my side gig. All is going well there.

I cleaned my betta fish's tank. He is the sweetest fish I have ever had as a pet. He constantly shows his excitement whenever I walk into the room, swishing his tail from side to side, and coming right up to the tank to greet me.

The travel that I have done recently, both on my vacation and for work, has made me take it easy this weekend. I feel like I need some rest!

Speaking of rest, I should get some.

Diagnosing my mom's pink eye

I visited my parents after work on Friday night. My mom asked me to take a look at her left eye. It was all red where it should be whitish. It made me think that she has pink eye, which is also known as conjunctivitis.

I have had two bouts of it in my lifetime. The first was a good decade ago and it was the worst. An intern at my workplace had used the washroom and didn't wash her hands. I had washed my hands and then touched the same doorknob. I probably rubbed my eye and there it was. Pink eye.

After work that day, I went to get over-the-counter pink eye drops. A few days later, my pink eye had cleared up.

After letting my mom know what I think she had, I went to the local grocery store to get the same eye drops. I told my mom to give them a try.

On Saturday, I dropped by to see how she was doing. I could see some white in her left eye. She told me that she feels better, and that both my dad and she feel that she's getting better. Cool.

I'm not a doctor, but I am kind of glad that I have experienced pink eye to recognize it in my mom. Here's hoping that she's on the road to recovery.

Tired, but happy, especially with retirement fund changes

I returned home late on Thursday night, which was the main reason why I didn't post anything. I twas too pooped!

I returned my rental car on Friday morning, got a lift home, and then went into the office late. I did two productive tasks that had nothing to do work work.

First, I have a locked-in Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP). It's my retirement fund where the fund came from a past employer's pension plan. I got it transferred after I left the company and the only type that I could transfer the money to was a Guaranteed Investment Certificate (GIC).

Well, the GIC has a yearly term, which has an end date set for a day next week. I wanted it changed to something longer and gave my bank a call.

I spoke to a nice, knowledgeable advisor. He said that I could switch my GIC over to mutual funds. The latter provides a better return on investment and I don't have to think about renewing it. Nice!

I also booked an appointment to see my doctor next week. It's a regular checkup. All is well.

Have a great weekend, everyone! I need to unpack and relax.

Workshop is over, laughter is here, and packing is nearly done

My workshop ended on Wednesday. I learned a lot and am inspired by the information that I got out of it.

I decided to check out the Just For Laughs comedy festival after dinner. It was a ton of fun. I got to see a hypnotist perform.

I have done most of my packing. I am leaving later on today, driving home in my rental car. It has been nice taking a break from driving for the last three days.

Lots of learning and finding a similar me out there

This training session has been great. I continue to learn a lot about the subject matter, my colleagues, and myself.

There are participants from my office in Mississauga and in Ottawa. I have established a rapport with a colleague who works on a different floor than I do. We are incredibly similar and we get along nicely. We didn't know each other until we did an exercise and were paired up.

It's interesting when you find someone who is practically a carbon copy of your personality and life, but in different countries. It's cool.

Training, Chinatown, and reflection

My first day of my training session went well and was fun. I learned a ton. Folks in my group are nice.

I am the only female in the group. It's great if I were interested in dating someone. However, many of the guys are married and I am not in that mode.

I walked around Chinatown after work. It's funny that I have visited Montreal a number of times and never explored Chinatown until this trip.

It's nice to change things up. The last time I was in this city was with my ex-guy. That trip ended up with my ex-guy getting into a moody mode and not wanting to be intimate with me for a bit. The more I think about our relationship, the more it makes sense that it's over. He didn't really treat me as well as he could have and his actions boggled my mind.

Road trip, work, and food

I'm in Montreal. I am here for a workshop that spans three days. I'm looking forward to it.

This weekend, I did a lot of driving. I had to rent a car and felt cramped at first. It's much better now after I moved the seat further back and am getting used to it.

I'm eating my way through the city. Hopefully, I can fit in the car when I return!

I'm all packed and ready for another road trip

I feel like I haven't settled since I returned on Sunday. I'm packed at long last.

I am not bringing as much on this trip. Instead, after I get my rental car, I am buying pop, water, and soy beverage. I probably need some snacks.

On Friday, I used another two Groupons. I had a fantastic deli sandwich with fries and another dessert. Later on today, I use up my final Groupon. Yay!

My next post will be in Montreal. I hope that you have a great weekend!

Groupon mission is going well so far - three more to use up!

Success! After work on Thursday, I used two Groupons. My dinner and dessert items were fabulous.

I have three more Groupons to use before I leave on Saturday, in the afternoon. The plan is to use two after work on Friday and my remaining one on Saturday before I drive out east again.

I really should use my Groupons sooner. At least I devised a plan that works and that is achievable. They expire the day that I drive back home and the eateries are not on my way home.

Packing for a work trip and using up my Groupons

I'm starting to pack for my work trip. I leave on Saturday.

I have to rent a car. I get picked up late on Saturday morning by the car rental place. I won't be able to sleep in as late as I like, but I can still sleep in a bit.

My original plan was to see a friend along my road trip, but I decided to reverse it and see her when I drive home. It works better that way.

I have a number of Groupons to use before I leave. Ah, the fun of not using them as quickly as I should have!

Thoughts about my ex-guy

My ex-guy has written a couple of e-mails to me since we broke up and entered new territory as friends only. I haven't responded to them. Part of me wants to break free of him. I am not ready to continue on as friends, as if nothing has happened.

The other part of me feels the need to write back, just to say thanks and that's it. It simply is polite.

However, I am entitled to all the time that I need for me. He has hurt me three times too many. He also needed time for himself to come to the decision that he no longer wanted to be with me.

I am at a similar crossroads. The difference is determining whether I want to remain friends with him. Frankly, he needs me as a friend more than I do him.

I am not fully healed. I have moments where I despise him. I miss him from time to him, too. I also tear up when I think of all the intimate moments that we have spent together.

Will it get easier? Sure. It's a question of time. Time is slowly healing me. That's the catch. I don't know how much time I need, but I know that nearly 1.5 months isn't enough to get over him.

Vacation is over, but it has put things into perspective

My vacation is officially over. It was great and much needed.

I am fortunate to be working from home today and tomorrow. I am truly in no mood to go into work just to read countless e-mails.

I completely unplugged during my vacation. In the past, I used to check my work e-mails periodically. I decided not to. I didn't have any desire to read them, considering how hard I work.

Vacations always put things into perspective for me. I have decided not to log on to my work's instant messaging app on my phone, even when I am at work. Down the road, I may even consider uninstalling it.

I also have some more thoughts about my ex-guy. On the whole, my thoughts are clear. It's the mixed emotions that I go through periodically.

In the meantime, I am continuing to explore self-spanking. I like the wooden paddle that I recently got. I haven't used it just yet, but I did take it out of its packaging and like picturing how hard I can paddle my bare backside.

Back home

I drove back home on Sunday. It has been a long, but good day.

I finished unpacking most of my stuff and did a couple of loads of laundry. It's an accomplishment.

In less than a week, I do a similar road trip out east, except that it's for work.

Horny, self-spanking girl

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, horny. I wanted to be spanked.

I haven't self-spanked in ages. Now that I do not have anyone to help me out, I gave myself a few smacks. I made myself reach orgasm. I then went back to sleep.

I woke up happy. I like the idea of self-spanking until I find a new man in my life would can spank me again.

Some things are them, but not really

My ex-guy sent me a happy birthday message an hour after my birthday was over. He was late, which is who he is.

Some things never change. And yet, a ton has changed.

He has written a couple of e-mails to me since we broke up. I haven't replied to them. He said that he rarely checks his e-mail. He has written to me more from this account as of late.

I still need time away from him. This vacation has been therapeutic and helpful in my getting over him.

Hot, humid weather, with sunscreen applied

Goodness, being on vacation is exhausting when it is hot and humid. I spent some time outside and managed to remember to apply sunscreen.

I love sunscreen. I was out there for a couple of hours and didn't get crispy. Yay!

Birthday highlights and pedal boating coming up

My birthday was wonderful. I got to meet a friend in person after establishing an online friendship for a few years.

We had lunch together at a Vietnamese restaurant. She got me a birthday gift, which was so thoughtful of her. We walked around Chinatown. She gave me tons of suggestions and recommendations on places to go and restaurants to try out. She's great.

I took in a movie. Yesterday was great. I cried at the end. I haven't cried in a while. It felt good.

I had dinner at a Thai restaurant. The green curry that I had was fantastic.

Through my friend, I signed up for pedal boating later on today. At least I'm getting a decent workout during my vacation!

It's my birthday!

Today's my birthday. I am going out with a friend later on today for lunch and perhaps some bubble tea.

It's weird that I am single on my birthday. It has been a while. It's an observation more than anything.

For the last seven years or so, I have always been away on vacation to celebrate my birthday. I love this ritual. I hope that I can do it for many years more.

Canada Day and a sunburn

Canada Day celebrations in our nation's capital are amazing! I had a ton of fun proudly wearing a Canada t-shirt, walking around with fellow Canadians, and taking in the live music performances.

I spent far too much time outdoors, though. I have a bit of a sunburn on my arms and around my neck.

The rest of me is fine. I was out in the sun for a couple of hours. It could have been much worse.

Too bad my butt isn't tanned. Life isn't always fair.

Happy Canada Day! Have a smashing, paddling day!

I made it to Ottawa, just in time for Canada Day. Happy Canada Day to all Canadians celebrating today!

Yesterday, I saw this beach paddle set at a liquidation store. I got horny thinking about it being used on me:

I do crave a good paddling. I may need to self-administer one soon. I did buy the set.

Vacation starts now

I'm all packed and ready for my road trip. Let my vacation begin!

I'll write more once I am checked in and am not thinking about going to bed!

It's the Canada Day long weekend. To my fellow Canadians, have a safe and happy one!

Purple sunglasses

I experienced a touching, thoughtful moment at work on Thursday. I came into the office and noticed a pair of company-branded sunglasses on my desk. They were purple.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that purple is my favourite colour. Someone deliberately got me a pair of purple sunglasses. I was happy.

Later on in the day, I found out from a colleague, who is also my friend, that our boss and my student both said to our office administrator that I would like the purple pair. The sunglasses were distributed on Wednesday. I was working from home that day.

Ah, they all know me well. It may seem like a small gesture, but it meant a lot to me.

Achy body, stronger heart, and reflection

I am still achy. It helped that I worked from home on Wednesday. I got to take it easier than if I were at work.

It has taken a while for me to realize that all the stress at work and in my life has finally hit me. I truly need to take it easy.

Yesterday marked my ex-husband's birthday. I didn't feel anything. I suppose that being in such an unhealthy relationship has made me numb. I hope that he is okay in heaven.

I do feel differently about my recent breakup. I loved my guy. I didn't feel the same way about my ex-hubby. I fell out of love with him, but stayed with him until I had the strength to leave.

It's good to know that time has healed me with my ex-hubby. Here's hoping that I am at that same peace of mind with my guy soon.

Packing and chicken wings

I have started packing for my upcoming road trip. I am excited, even though I am tired from working on a major software release.

I went to work on Tuesday. Normally, I work from home. I was there to have a team lunch. It involved chicken wings, for which I have a huge weakness. Yum!

The unfortunate part was that I had leftovers and I left them at the restaurant. It may have been a blessing in disguise, though. I ordered peppery wings, which irritate my throat. I'm not fully recovered from my cold.

It's okay. I got the wings for half-price. I am not all that bummed out about it. I can always go back in future.

Achy, knotted body

My body is one huge spasm. I probably walked too much on Saturday.

It has been ages since I've had a back spasm on my right side. Yep, it's back. At work, my lower back was achy all day on Monday.

My neck has also been pretty tight. I blame work and how knotted I seem to be over the various stresses. I also think my breakup has something to do with it.

Although I walked a ton on Saturday, I was relaxed. Working with a few people who are incompetent has affected me in an odd way. The good thing is that I am a few days away from leaving work behind and being on vacation.

Friday afternoon couldn't come any sooner!

In the meantime, I have been stretching out my back and staying hydrated. So far, it's helping.

Fun weekend with friends and upcoming vacation

It has been a good weekend. I got together with a couple of friends on Saturday. I was out for practically the entire day, which was the main reason why I didn't have anything to post here. I was tired from being out and about.

I still have moments of sadness. They mostly happen at night, just before I fall asleep.

Last week, I received my book on how to handle a breakup. I need to find time to read it. I am off on vacation starting this upcoming weekend, so it'll give me some time to relax, unwind, and read.

Weekends are way too short. Luckily, it's my last workweek before I can make this upcoming one much longer.

Rush hour traffic is horrible, especially when the weather is poor

I left work on Thursday at 17:00. It's considered early for me.

I had an event to attend in my neck of the woods. I allowed two hours to get there. I got there with 13 minutes to spare.

Traffic is horrible in the greater Toronto area. I was actually on a toll highway, which should have taken me half that time, at most, on a good day. This highway was slow, thanks to all the rain coming down, some sort of accident along the way, and just plain slowness during rush hour.

The event that I attended was both indoors and outdoors. Luckily, it wasn't a windy day. It was pretty mild. I was happy with my umbrella. It ended up being a great night.

Wedding proposal and groping butts

Ah, a fun wedding proposal! I like how all the guys didn't seem to mind getting their butts groped. I like how the woman knew exactly what her guy's butt felt like.

The proposal video is cute. Go watch it!

Working on a sick day and enjoying it

On Tuesday, I took a sick day. The weird thing was that I did work. Quietly. No distractions. It was nice.

I liked not having my instant messaging app showing that I'm available. I liked not having folks asking me questions throughout the day.

I have a task where I need to rename a number of properties in our documentation. It was great going through a good chunk of the work. It was also nice to not answer e-mails.

Luckily, I am working from home today. Sadly, I have a couple of conference calls to participate in. At least I sound less congested and my cold is on its way out.

I do wish that I worked with a more competent colleague. I may just call her the idiot going forward. I couldn't have chosen a more accurate nickname for her.

Sick day, Raptors parade, crying, and loan

I decided to take a sick day on Monday. I am still getting rid of a cold and a mild cough. I also needed time for myself. Call it a healing day.

I went out to a movie and saw John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum. I have seen every John Wick movie. This one was okay. It wasn't my favourite. If you like tons of sword-slaying and gun-shooting action, this movie is for you.

Monday was also the Toronto Raptors parade. I decided not to partake, as I would be miserable all congested with a bunch of people for hours. I watched the entire parade and other coverage on TV. I cried. It was tears of joy and pride. I also felt good that I could let out a good cry. I haven't been able to since my guy broke up with me.

One final milestone on Monday was that I paid off my loan that I have had for years. My loan account no longer exists when I log in to my bank app. I am proud of myself for paying it off. I have more flexibility to allocate what I used to pay towards my loan to paying off other debt. I also want to save again and bulk up my emergency fund.

Sick, missing, and tired

I am still sick. I will likely take a sick day from work today. Currently, my nose is stuffed up, I'm tired, and I have a slight cough.

Being sick makes me think more about my guy breaking up with me. I miss what we had. I don't miss being hurt, as I'm already there.

He just sent me a video to watch. In his own way, he misses me. It makes me even more upset that he is perfectly fine carrying on. I can't do that. I need time to grieve. He isn't in tune with his emotions as much as I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Although I have moments of sadness, I cannot sob in despair like I did the two previous times that he broke up with me. It's that inner strength this time that demands being treated better. It is his loss. I simply need to move on. It will happen with time.

I took naps throughout the day on Sunday. I felt better after each nap, but I am tired. I believe that I have earned a sick day to shake this cold off and heal from this breakup.

Rocketman, affection, and a cold

On Saturday, I went to see Rocketman at long last at the theatre. I loved it. I love movies about music and the lives of rock stars, both fictional and fact.

At one point in the movie, Elton John is on the phone with his mom, coming out as a gay man. She says to him that she knows, "You'll never be loved properly." It was a sad moment on how removed his parents were at dishing out affection.

It made me a bit sad that I don't have a man to dish out affection these days. I also miss the companionship. They are minor for me right now, as I need time to heal emotionally after this breakup. I decided to buy a book on healing after a relationship ends. Although I am doing well under the circumstances, I still have moments of sadness when memories flood in. Having a resource to get me through it doesn't hurt.

I have a slight cough and a stuffed up nose. I am on cold medication and am drinking a lot of fluids. I hope that the extra rest that I'm getting this weekend will help.

Coming down with a cold, having fond memories, and seeing a movie

The good news is that the workweek is over. My team got our software release work done ahead of schedule.

The bad news? I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. My nose is running and stuffy. I also have a slight sore throat. Ugh!

I took a nap for nearly an hour. It happened two hours ago. It's not a normal thing for me. I am hoping that some extra hours of sleep will kick my cold to the curb.

Now that things are less hectic, my guy not being the love of my life anymore has set in. I think of the fond memories that we have shared, but am also annoyed at how he decided to call it quits. I truly deserved a lot better.

I am hoping to go see a movie later on today. I have amassed a ton of points that it's time to splurge. I also have a movie gift card to use. I need some time for me and perhaps a hot dog.

Raptors win! Raptors are the NBA 2019 champions!

Oh, my gosh! The Raptors did it! They won and are the champions in the NBA for 2019!

Yay! We the north.

St. Louis Blues are Stanley Cup champions! Here's to beer and Gloria!

The St. Louis Blues have won the Stanley Cup. Yay!

I have had a fun arrangement with my manager. When the Blues win a playoff hockey game, he owes me a beer. He has already bought me one beer. I have three more beers coming my way.

As for me, I promised to play Laura Branigan's song, Gloria. It's the Blues song that's played when the team wins. Deal!

Startled dreaming about my ex and being taken for granted at work

After a fairly long day working from home, I took a nap. I had been up since 06:45.

I had a dream about my guy kissing me on the lips and holding me like he used to. I woke up startled. I was in a slight panic.

It was a dream. I was relieved.

At first, I thought that the dream signalled that I missed him in my life. It wasn't that. I miss being affectionate with someone who will reciprocate. These days, I hug my stuffed purple sheep and penguin. It's not the same, but I am comforted by them.

Work continues to be stressful. I realize that I have some colleagues who take me for granted. I actually shut a person down because he was whining over a change that I had made to correct the version syntax that he got wrong. Apparently, I am supposed to let the world know about his mistake. He found it a pain to send everyone a revised hyperlink. I told him that my team is busy building documentation builds and pushing out a major release, which finally silenced him. He isn't a quarter as busy as I am.

My incompetent member continues to show me that she is a horrible listener and can't do tasks on her own. I don't understand why I end up with idiots on my team.

Short post for a busy week

It's a busy week at work. Last week was highly stressful dealing with yet another incompetent person on my team. I will need a post to describe that fiasco.

I have finally calmed down about the situation. I am so glad. It was highly frustrating dealing with her.

She has finally realized that she has damaged our rapport. I no longer trust her to independently do her work. She messed up and she knows it. I'll elaborate in a future post.

I am working from home on Tuesday. Sadly, I have an early morning conference call. I am in the office for the remainder of this week. It's not bad, but I would rather be sleeping in.

Stronger - then and now

When Kelly Clarkson's song, Stronger, came out back in 2011, it became my anthem on multiple levels.

I was dealing with a colleague who was incompetent. It seems to still be the trend at my workplace these days. This guy was originally my manager. He had issues doing his job. Sleeping on the job will do that. Eventually, he made enemies with everyone, including me, and decided to leave the company.

I was going a back issue during this ordeal. I ended up getting back surgery to remove a disk that was causing a ton of numbness and pressure down my right leg. My guy and I became a couple just before I had surgery. Stronger became my song to get better and be my best self.

Frankly, I stopped tearing up a week ago. I was driving home from work and Stronger came on the radio. The lyrics hit me. It's okay to be sleep alone. The bed does feel warmer. It doesn't mean that I am over because you're gone.

It's trying to find the person that I was before the relationship. I have found her. I am hopefully wiser after this relationship, but I am strong and I will be okay.

In a past post, I had mentioned that I deserve better. I do, both in a romantic relationship and in a friendship. I am perfectly fine walking away from my friendship with him. I don't need to deal with his indecisiveness.

Last Friday, we had lunch together. There were a couple of hints that he still has feelings for me, but I didn't act on them.

"I have always loved your purple nail polish," he said.
"It's not the same colour. The one that you are referring to is long gone. I used the bottle up," I replied.

As we walked out of the restaurant, he touched my lower back. He hasn't done that in ages. I am thinking that it is habit more than anything.

When we got to the office, I simply said, "See you whenever," and walked away. It's exactly how I feel. I am not waiting for you. I don't want us to get back together. It's over. I am moving on and seeking someone who loves and respects me.

As for diving into a relationship, I'm not ready yet. I am going to enjoy some time to myself. If something happens, I'll figure it out then. Right now, I can't handle being in a relationship.

The breakup - for the third and likely final time

It has been well over a week. I needed some time to think about what had happened. The problem is that I have been pretty active and busy that I haven't had a chance to grieve.

My guy decided to call it quits. Quits means romantically. He wants to remain friends.

We have been together for years. For me, the withdrawal symptoms of not being affectionate towards someone have been tough.

I am oddly taking this breakup well. In the past, when he previously broke my heart twice, I was devastated each time. I sobbed and cried.

This one still hurts. I tear up now and again. I haven't gone into full-fledge sobbing or a good cry, though. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps I have, too.

I am more active now than I was the last two times that he broke my heart. I go out of various meetups. I am working on blog posts here and my side projects. Work has kept me busy.

I am only sad at night when I am not on the move. I sit on my bed, look at my purple sheep named Woolly, and go back to the exact moment when my guy gave Woolly to me.

I don't have that feeling of getting rid of all his stuff. I hug my purple plush sheep and I'm good. He is always smiling back at me.

In the past, I had to sever any relationship after we broke up. Part of me still wants to, as it has aleays been easier for me to heal. There were recent periods when I would say hi in a text message to him and I wouldn't get a thing. He would not communicate with me for weeks. I knew that something was up.

I said to him that if we were to be friends, I need better communication. Otherwise, I am perfectly find saying goodbye to him forever. He said that it wouldn't happen. In this regard, as much as he is my best friend, he actually needs my friendship more than I do of his. I will give it a shot. If I hate what we have, I will walk away. I have no regrets.

He didn't break up with me because he found someone new. He just has other side projects going on that love and sex have taken a backseat. I have always been accommodating to his needs. For me, I know that I deserve better. I am willing to find it with someone out there when I am ready.

In the meantime, I look forward to spending time with a good friend this weekend. Work is driving me crazy. My guy and I have had lunch a handful of times over the last 1.5 weeks. We have been good.

He asked me if I wanted a hug last Friday. We hugged. I needed it. It felt different, but it felt comforting.

Kelly Clarkson's song, Stronger, got me out of moments of sadness earlier this week. I will explain more in another post.

I am okay. It is a life shift. I'm not even sure if I can call him my guy here. I will probably need to think of a better name.

My barista and Stronger

I have a cheerful story to share. It happened to me on Monday evening. I will back up a bit.

On Saturday, I visited my local cafe. I went through the drive-thru and chatted with one barista who has always been kind to me. I asked whether he had the weekend off. He did, except that he was representing this cafe in a barista competition. Wow! He is the best in this city. I was impressed!

I wished him good luck. He suggested that I follow this cafe on Instagram. I did.

I found out late on Sunday night that this barista won the entire competition! I was so happy and proud of him.

On Monday evening, I went through the drive-thru of this cafe to pick up my beverage and he was there.

"Congratulations!" I exclaimed, which made him happy.
"Thank you so much!" he said, humbly.
"Hey, she found out pretty fast," said his colleague.

We had a decent chat about his experience. I am so happy that he got such a well-deserved award. I am glad that I deal with the best.

As for me, Monday was a crazy day at work, which led to my forgetting to attend a dinner. I thought that it was on Tuesday. Oops! Instead, I got a hot dog from Costco and a chocolate sundae from McDonald's.

I am more upbeat today, thanks to listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger." I will elaborate more on what has happened over the past week shortly.

Sorting out things - taking a blogging break

I am going through a bit of a rough patch right now. I am well under the circumstances. I'm sorting out a few things, so I'll be taking a bit of a break here.

Once I have sorted out things, I'll share them with you. I do need an outlet and my blog has always been it. It's difficult to write down how I feel when there are some loose ends.

Some things never change with my guy

My guy is at the office for the next two weeks. It means that I get to see him more often.

On Monday, he picked me up in his stick-shift 70's car. It was my first time seeing and riding in it. The muffler was loud.

After lunch, I teased him, as usual.

"Do you know where you parked?" I asked him.
"Over there," he said, pointing at the general vicinity of the parking lot.
"Some things never change," I pointed out.
"Yes, for sure," he replied.
"Can I drive your car?" I asked him.
"Nope. Some things never change," he smiled.

It was nice spending a bit of time with him.