Chat with friends and revelations

It's raining right now. It's nearly 2 am.

Yesterday, I had a great time hanging out with a few friends in the afternoon. We chatted, and sipped on teas and shakes. The laughter and conversation were much needed.

For the first time in a while, I could talk about my nearly eight-year relationship with my ex with others. 

I made a few statements that I hadn't said out loud until now:

• I hate the ex's guts
• We work at the same company and have never seen each other since the breakup
• It has been three years and I'm happy not being in a relationship

Hate is a strong word. It's fitting for how I feel.

The ex hurt me, which caused sadness and anxiety for months until I was okay. He came back to ask for sex, but without the relationship. It made me angry. He wanted a free hooker to put out. It wasn't my style.

I also said to do you to my friends. That's exactly what I have been doing. I am doing what feels best to me. I am okay being on my own. Sure, I miss companionship and cuddling, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship again. 

It's all okay.

Waking up from a nap and having an orgasm

I haven't been all that active sexually since I've been single. A combination of being busy and dealing with the void of not having a partner have been factors.

Yesterday, I woke up from a nap horny. I haven't had an orgasm like that in ages. It was nice.

Three years being single

Today marks three years since my ex-guy broke up with me. Time flies. It also heals. 

I still think of the memories that we had. I also think about how wrong it was for me to be with someone who wasn't the best fit for me. I am in tune with my emotions. He wasn't and probably still isn't. 

I severed my connection with him on a number of applications, including Skype. I recently saw that he wanted it re-established on Skype. I haven't.

Although I miss having a special someone as my partner, I am not ready. And, that's okay.

Copycat diva, night guard, and two years being single

I returned to work yesterday. I dislike dealing with a diva who can't word things herself and can't think for herself. She actually copied and pasted two sentences of mine in her e-mail aimed at two other people, and copied me on it.

Wow. Such a jerk. 

My call was correct. I didn't even bother waiting for her e-mail to be sent out to seek confirmation from others. I knew what to do. She didn't.

I am picking up my night guard later on today. I'm looking forward to it.

Today marks two years since the ex broke up with me. It has taken me a long time to heal. I am finally there after kicking him to the curb and telling him not to contact me. I am proud of myself for being the one who didn't want him in my life in any form.

Thoughts about dating and double-standards

I was wrong. The guy whom I've been chatting with online as of late resurfaced online. He said that he was out with friends.

I feel like there's such a double-standard already. He put the guilt trip by saying that I am busy with work. Meanwhile, he decided to not respond to anything for an entire day. It didn't exactly bug me that he didn't. We have lives. I just don't like the guilt trip that he did.

The other odd thing about this man and online dating is why does he insist on getting a photo of me. My profile pic is good enough. I don't do selfies. I find them superficial. Why insist? It's not my style and I should not be pressured to take a selfie just to appease someone who doesn't have a clear profile picture of himself to begin with.

I feel like I should stick to being single. Dating is far too complicated and annoying.

It's my birthday!

Today's my birthday. I am going out with a friend later on today for lunch and perhaps some bubble tea.

It's weird that I am single on my birthday. It has been a while. It's an observation more than anything.

For the last seven years or so, I have always been away on vacation to celebrate my birthday. I love this ritual. I hope that I can do it for many years more.