Messaging an old friend

I wrote a while back that I had found my best friend from grade 7. I was contemplating whether to contact her.

Since then, I have been watching her reels on Instagram and hearing what she has to say. It took a recent reel in which she talked about trying to tell folks about her torture through her body language that encouraged me to finally contact her.

I remember her jumping at touch. She would walk fast with her arms crossed in front of her chest when she was upset. She had that flee instinct.

She was brave to state in grade 8 that she was sexually abused. She didn't spill all the beans about being tortured in a cult because she was still a part of it. It was tough for her to escape and be safe.

I am glad that I contacted her. I let her know that I have always believed her. I hope that she writes back. We'll see.

In a credit card bind and having to reach out to my ex

A couple of Thursdays ago, I drove up from the Twin Cities to Winnipeg. There was a snowstorm with reduced visibility. I managed to get to Winnipeg safely.

I had a problem checking into my hotel. I had a one-night stay before flying home on Friday. I also booked a hotel near Toronto Pearson International Airport in case I was too tired to drive home. My flight would get in late that night.

At the hotel in Winnipeg, my credit card was declined. I didn't understand why as I had just used it all day for fuel, food, and more. 

I didn't have a backup credit card. My other credit card was in the mail. Canada Post was on strike. The strike is over, but it will take some time to get it.

I had to find someone to bail me out. It was 9:30 pm Central time. It was 10:30 pm Eastern to figure out who could help me out at this time of night.

I did something that I didn't want to do. I texted and called my ex. Naturally, he didn't pick up or respond.

He did text me over 24 hours later. I said that it was urgent. He didn't respond, so I moved on. All I got from that text exchange was a thumbs-up reaction from him.

He was too late. The usual.

It reinforced the fact that he has never been there for me when I needed him. I managed to find a friend who was willing to e-transfer $400 to me.

The hotel room was just over $200 a night. I needed to supply a security deposit, which I felt was ridiculous being almost twice the amount of my hotel room.

I checked out the following day. I immediately sent an e-transfer to my friend for the security deposit. Today, I sent the remaining funds that I owed to her for the room rate.

I am thankful that I have friends who are kind and trusting. I am truly grateful for their help.

It turns out that the hotel by the airport prematurely charged my room and deposit to my card. It explains why I couldn't check in at the hotel in Winnipeg.

I cancelled my reservation at the hotel by the airport. The funds were released. I wasn't impressed by this premature charging move.

What I should have done was to prepay for my hotel in Winnipeg. It would have guaranteed my stay without the hotel in Toronto getting to my card first with a premature hold.

I hope that I never have to reach out to my ex. I expected that he wouldn't jump at helping me. Sadly, I was correct.

Finding my best friend from grade 7 and debating whether to contact her

I don't write as much as I used to here. It's partly life. It's partly because I am not in an intimate relationship.

I have topics to write about. I haven't prioritized posting them.

I do have some news to share. It's good news. I'm just not sure if I should take the bold step and reach out, or let the past stay in the past.

In grade 7, I was best friends with a person. I'll call her Candy. She was awesome, except that she was teased whenever someone would tap her on the shoulder or give her a hug.

I don't think we ever hugged. I didn't want to trigger anything. I never asked why she was so sensitive. I figured it out in grade 8.

We were in extended French class. We had an exercise to reveal a secret by writing it on a piece of paper. It would then be placed in a jar. Each one of us would fish out an entry, read it, and figure out who it was.

Candy asked how to say abuse in French. It caught my attention. It also caught the attention of two of our classmates.

We reported it to our French teacher. She spent a lot of time talking to counsellors after she shared what had happened to her. Our friendship started to change, well into grades 9 and 10.

She became a feminist. She didn't like eating lunch with our usual friends in the cafeteria. She preferred to eat lunch in the washroom.

We used to walk up to school and home together. All that stopped.

She changed high schools. We drifted apart. We saw each other a couple of times in Toronto. Once was when we were in grade 12. The last time was when I was in my second year of undergraduate studies. We met in a store on Yonge Street. She called my name. I said hi. That was it.

I have thought about her often over the years. I'd try searching for her online. Nothing.

I gave it a try today. Somehow, my persistence worked. It also helped that she openly stated her birthday on her Web site, right down to the year. I looked at her birthmark on her forehead and immediately knew that it was her.

She is definitely more verbally articulate than she used to be. She is far more open about being abused and her past. I didn't realize that she automatically grew up in a cult and ran away from home shortly after she changed school.

She changed her last name after she ran away from home. It explains one reason why I had a tough time finding her.

I'd like to contact her and say hi. I don't know whether that's a good idea. The abuse that she endured happened while we were best friends. She couldn't tell me anything because her abusers threatened to kill her, which is understandable.

Part of me wants to because I care that she's alive and seems to be doing well. Part of me thinks that if I do reach out, I will be resurrecting the horrible abuse flashbacks that was happening. 

I would like to think that our friendship was maybe an escape from this abuse. I just don't know.

I will sit on it and think some more. I am happy that she's doing great. She seems healthy. She is an author and an artist. 

Back again, discussing an annoying contact on a couple of apps

I have been taking extended time away from my blog. It's partially because I'm still trying to determine whether writing about regular topics about my life is a good fit here. 

I feel that it is. I don't have anything spanking-related to say. It's still dormant -- both my drive and the dating scene. I'm still not ready to engage in a relationship, romantic or spanking, with anyone.

All is good with me. I took a week off from work earlier this month to do a road trip to Ottawa. It was nice seeing three people whom I haven't seen in a while. It ranged from four years ago to when I was in high school when I last saw these people. Eons ago!

I am on a social platform that allows me to post photos of businesses, review them, and check in when I'm at them. There is one friend who has decided that she wants to rule all of Toronto, to the point where I think she checks in without really dropping by the actual business. It's kind of like a drive-by check-in.

Well, she has rubbed me the wrong way. Because she's friends with me on this app, she knows exactly where I check in. When she sees that I have overtaken her with check-ins to specific businesses, she will go there just to be the leader. She frankly sucks the fun out of checking and I don't appreciate her monitoring my check-ins that closely.

The whole point of checking in on this app is to indicate that I'm physically there. I'm buying something. I'm browsing. I'm supporting a business.

For her, it's a competition. It's being on top. It's annoying. It's not my style.

Well, she decided to overtake a neighbourhood where I have been the leader for years. We are also friends on Instagram. 

I'm pretty sure that both app give her full perspective on what I'm doing. In Ottawa, through a series of check-ins between me and our mutual friend on the review app, she sent me a message on IG to have fun with this person. Her monitoring was a bit creepy.

Yesterday, after she took over "reigning" my neighbourhood on this app, she commented on some sugar-free gummies that I had made and put up in an IG story.

I got new gummy moulds that featured cute animals. Most folks would say that they were all cute. She pinpointed to me two of the animals that she felt were cute.

Um, okay. Why did you have the need to be that specific? Do I really care what you think?

I frankly feel that she was rubbing in the fact that she took over check-ins in my neighbourhood. She was exercising her dominance by saying that she only liked some of the gummy animals.

I wrote back and said that ALL of them were cute. Two of my closest friends said that they were cute. Inclusive.

I learned that I can hide videos, photos, and live videos on stories for specific accounts that follow mine. I decided to hide them from this woman. She doesn't need to follow me that closely. I don't need to receive comments from her that annoy me.

Hiding stories from her instantly made me happier. It shows that social media can be detrimental with people who ruin the vibe and fun. She has ruined both for me. 

I don't need to interact with her. I'm glad that she no longer has access to my stories.

Dinner with a good friend about dating and my ex

On Friday night, I had dinner with a good friend. She asked me about the dating scene. I let her know that the ex had reached out to me.

I decided to write back to the ex on Thursday. I asked him how he was going to make this dinner that he had hoped for pleasant for me. After all, I'd be sitting across from a man who broke my heart, caused me so much anxiety, emotional pain, and depression for a year. I do not want to relapse.

He hasn't responded.

I let my friend know that I wasn't ready to date. I know that I am not ready.

She said the nicest thing towards the end of our time together over dinner. She said that I have the kindest heart and will eventually find the right person who will deserve my heart. She's equally as deserving of that special someone. We are in similar situations.

I don't think that my ex has changed since we last saw each other over three years ago. In his message to me, he said that we "always have a good time." No, we don't. I feel like he is delusional and is only thinking about the good times that we've had. He is omitting how poorly he treated me at the end of our relationship.

Taking my friend out for dinner to lift her spirits up

I have a friend who got laid off last month. We used to work together before she went to this company that laid her off.

I suggested that she could take a contract with us and get rehired. My guess is that she didn't want a three-month contract with a chance to renew it.

When she called me to break her layoff news, it was just before I headed to the Twin Cities in October. I said that I'd take her out for dinner. It will happen a couple of Mondays from now. I hope that it will lift her spirits up a bit.

I have been laid off twice in my life. A good friend took me to a CFL (Canadian Football League) game and it was great. I'm sort of paying it forward.

Thinking of a best friend from the past

I had a best friend in grades 7 through 9. In grade 8, in an activity that we did in French class, she revealed that she was sexually abused.

I stayed with her and our French teacher to talk it out. I had an orthodontist's appointment and my dad was waiting for me, wondering why I was running late.

Our friendship suffered as she became more of a feminist and preferred to have lunch in the washroom by herself, rather than eating in the lunch room with a bunch of us.

Walking together to school slowly dwindled. We drifted apart. She changed high schools in grade 11. We didn't keep in touch.

The last time I saw her was in a store on Yonge Street, which is the longest street in the world and starts in Toronto. It was at the end of my second year of undergraduate studies. We said hi. She was with a woman. I was with my good friend whom we are still friends to this day.

I think of her often. Today is her birthday. I hope that she is doing well, wherever she is.

Happy birthday to my best friend!

Today's my best friend's birthday. We have been friends since we met in summer school when I had just turned sixteen years old. He is 1.5 months older than I am.

He came out to me as being gay when we were in university. I still remember that conversation over the phone. He didn't know how I'd feel I was good with it.

We caught up today when I texted him to say hi and wish him a great day. I didn't realize that his Facebook account was hacked and he had created a new account. He didn't know that my Instagram account had got hacked, either. We both weren't following each other, which is funny when I look at things now.

We sent a bunch of texts today. It was nice catching up. We hope to meet over a meal or something soon. It has been way too long!

Farewell gift basket has been sent!

I went ahead and asked my friend for her mailing address. She gave it to me without any questions. Nice!

I bought her a spa basket with the contributions that I got from colleagues. It's such a perfect gift for her. She needs and deserves pampering! It's expected to arrive at her home on Friday.

Gift mission accomplished!

Update on my friend leaving the company, but moving to a new career elsewhere

Last Friday was my friend's final day at work. My team is horrible at sendoffs. I ended up creating an online meeting for us to say goodbye to her and solicited donations towards a farewell gift separately, if folks wanted to donate.

To explain the situation, my friend originally got a job as a project manager within the company. She was to move to a different department.

I had warned her about her soon-to-be new manager. She was toxic towards me and isn't a nice person. Sure enough, she never finalized my friend's contact and how much she would be earning. She also wanted my friend to work both was a writer and project manager for two months at her current pay.

My friend appreciated the warning that I gave her. She decided to quit. She deserved better. I don't blame her.

She does have a new job lined up and starts just over a week from now. I'm happy for her.

As a team, before this pandemic, we would normally get together for a farewell lunch. My friend isn't comfortable being in a large crowd. Instead, she'd rather have a meal with me and one other colleague. We'll be doing that soon.

I have collected enough funds to get her a spa gift basket. I need to figure out how to get her mailing address to get it delivered to her. I may need to ask my manager first. Otherwise, I may need to ask her directly, which kind of ruins the entire vibe.

The winds of change

While I was away in the States, my friend, who is also my colleague, had good news to share with me. We had a quick call as I was driving over to the arena to see a hockey game.

She had landed a project manager job in a different department. I was thrilled for her because she has expressed wanting to be one in the past. I did say to be careful. She would have a manager who was toxic towards me and enjoyed trying to sabotage me. She was unsuccessful.

Well, on the weekend, my friend said that there was an abrupt change. She ended up resigning. Wow! I was not expecting to hear that statement from her.

We are getting together later on today. She said that she'd explain everything to me. I have a feeling that perhaps this toxic woman did something that made my friend quit. We'll see.

Spreadsheet nightmare and next weekend's plans

I have a deadline of Wednesday to get two documents delivered. It's involves in regards using ugly spreadsheets as my source. They went through massive updates since I last used them in December.

I spent Sunday working on these documents. I have made good progress, but need to go through roughly 2,000 rows of data. I've already gone through that may rows! We'll see if I can get through this nonsense.

Next weekend will be better. I'm getting together with a friend on Saturday now that our lockdown has been lifted once again.

Chatting and planning with a friend

Yesterday, my friend, who is also my colleague, and I had a texting conversation. I could tell that lockdown number 4 in Ontario is getting to her.

Restaurants are reopening for dining next Monday. Currently, you can either do takeout or sit at the patio. These changes happened while I was on vacation in the US. Considering how much snow and how cold it has been lately, takeout is the better option.

She immediately perked up. There are some people who need that social interaction. She is one of them. I'm the type that likes people, but I'm perfectly comfortable hibernating.

I'm looking forward to seeing her. We are both triple-vaccinated. It's nice to plan getting together with a friend.

Touching base through texts and loving my new wifi extender

I like when former co-workers end up being friends with me. One of them texted me yesterday to ask for a reference and to meet up for dinner.

It was perfect timing. She rescued me from a rather boring all-employee meeting.

On a completely different note, I got a wifi extender. I find that my wifi in my basement tends to be spotty. This wifi extender works well. I'm impressed!

My friend's final resting place and Thanksgiving Day

A couple of days ago, it was my friend's birthday. She had passed away in January. It was odd not sending her a message to wish her a happy day.

A few hours ago, her daughter friended me on Facebook. She had shared a photo of her mom's resting place. It actually helped me locate the area and lot where my friend is buried. I managed to find a map of the cemetery and pieced everything together.

I am still contemplating plans to head down to the States in late November. I haven't booked anything yet. I need to plan a few things out. For sure, I'm there in December.

It's Thanksgiving Day. I made a Thanksgiving feast yesterday for my parents and me. I have a decent recipe for leftover pastries that I hope to make later on today.

Early meeting and a nap through the first hour of it

Yesterday, I woke up early for my 7 am meeting that typically lasts for four hours. I managed to sleep through the first hour after I said hello at the start.

It was a productive day. I worked on a PowerPoint presentation that I haven't had a chance to do in weeks.

On a completely different note, my friend and I made plans to get together on Friday night. Yay!

Travel plans

I am contemplating travel. If I were to go somewhere, it would be stateside to pay my respects to my friend who passed away earlier this year.

It's not a normal travel goal to have. It is mine, which is normal to me right now.

I can fly to the States. I need to do a COVID-19 test, prove that I have been vaccinated, and take plenty of time to travel.

Part of me is excited. Part of me is not looking forward to the extra overhead associated with travelling during a pandemic.

I haven't decided when I'll head down, but it will be before this year is over. I'm hopeful and optimistic. I'm also overly cautious.

White moth visit

On Thursday night, I ran a few errands. I normally go grocery shopping on Wednesdays. This past Wednesday, I headed downtown for Beyond Monet. As a result, I delayed my grocery run till Thursday.

After having completed my errands, I was unlocking the front door to my home when a white moth came over. A white moth generally represents someone deceased who has come to say hi.

I knew immediately that it was my friend who passed away in early January. I have been thinking about her more this past month than usual.

I opened the door and the moth followed me in.

"I miss you," I said out loud, looking right at it.

I then headed indoors. I felt happy seeing a good friend.

Saturday outing with a friend

On Saturday, I met up with a good friend for ice cream, a stroll along the main street in a small town, and a late lunch. It was a great day!

I normally come to this town for ice cream. It was nice spending several hours here with great company. 

We ate indoors. It was a great call. Moments later, a thunderstorm rolled into the area. Rain was coming down sideways. Wow!

Birthday celebrations at a patio and at the beach

I had a great day celebrating our birthday with a good friend. Her birthday was last week. Mine is early by a week.

We spent time eating and drinking on a patio. We then drove down to the beach to chat and take in the relaxing vibes around us. We also exchanged gifts.

I got her half a dozen donuts from Toronto. She moved away a few years ago, so we meet midway.

It's a great start to my vacation. Happy weekend, everyone!