Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 08, 2023

Communication with the ex

I wrote back to the ex late last week. Yesterday, I got a reply from him.

I basically asked how he would make it comfortable for me if we do meet up. I indicated that I'd be looking across the table at a man who deeply hurt me, causing me emotional pain, anxiety, and depression. I didn't want a relapse.

He wants to start over with me. The thing is that he doesn't deserve to have my heart after shattering it. I have been fine without him in my life.

I doubt that he has changed. I don't know if he wants to. I got no indication that he does.

Friday, March 27, 2020

My ex's birthday and not wishing him a good one

Today is my ex-boyfriend's birthday. It is the first in a long time where we are not a couple.

Although I am a thoughtful person, I have made the painful decision to not wish him a happy birthday. Saying a one-sentence greeting will prompt communication with him.

I don't want it. It would hurt. Thinking about him still does here and there.

I know how I felt when he had reached out to me a few times since he broke up with me. I didn't like him wishing me a happy 2020. It felt like a farce and incredibly insincere. I didn't like when he wished me a happy birthday last year. He was late, but made the claim that he was still on time. Whatever.

Although I miss his kisses, hugs, and conversation from time to time, the bottomline is that he broke my heart. It's not in my best interest to open up a healing wound by initiating conversation with the very person who hurt me.

Friday, November 15, 2019

My heart's healing well!

My ex-guy's car has been parked at our workplace's parking lot for a month. When he first parked his car there after we had broken up, a ton of emotions came flooding in. Sad. Heartbroken. Angry. Hurt. Probably more.

I worked from home Monday through Wednesday this week. I returned to work yesterday and his car was no longer there.

I felt okay. That's a good sign.

I'm still healing, but I'm making decent progress.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Fortune about only the wisest and stupidest people never changing

On Saturday, I went to a Chinese restaurant for a late lunch. At the end of the meal, I got a fortune cookie.

Here was my fortune:


I don't think that it's just men. My incompetent colleague fits this scenario, for instance.

Perhaps it can also be applied to my ex-guy. He has broken up with me three times. I should have known that he had issues and wasn't going to change the first time he broke up with me.

Of course, it's easier to look back and observe. This fortune was interesting that way. It's all about perspective and interpretation.

Tuesday, October 08, 2019

Reminders of a severed relationship and looking forward to travel

My ex-guy's car is parked at work again. This time around, seeing his car doesn't hurt as much.

He broke my heart. I find it difficult to have him in my life. It is far easier to sever ties with him. It is too painful to relive being happy in our relationship and having the plug pulled on a Monday -- likely the worst day of the week to break up. Then again, any day to select as a break-up day isn't great.

I have a few days before I fly off to the Twin Cities. I am excited to be back after nine years. It'll do me some good.

Saturday, August 10, 2019

Sad about my ex-guy reaching out to me through a work program

My ex-guy and I work for the same company. He works from home all the time and doesn't require going into the office. I go into work three times each week and work from home for the remaining days.

Since he let me go, he has written a couple of e-mails to me through his personal account to mine. I didn't bother to reply to either. The fact that he was late to say happy birthday to me because he was his typical late self did not impress me.

My guess is that he is wondering how I am, as I am not writing back. Frankly, I need some space and don't have anything to contribute.

At work, we have a thank-you program, where you can write a little message and award some points to someone at work. It's to show your appreciation and the recipient can get something from our company's e-commerce site. We get a certain number of points dropped into our accounts every month.

Well, he sent me some points and a one-liner to say thanks for helping him out. As nice as that gesture was, it makes me sad that he ended our relationship -- that he hurt me. Yet, he thinks that things are the same. They aren't.

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

My guy is Mr. Fix-it when my bottom no longer smarts

Last Tuesday, when my guy and I were seated at a booth in our favourite Chinese restaurant for lunch, we had this conversation.
"My bottom doesn't hurt," I observed, thankful that we had padded seats in our booth.
"I can quickly fix that," my guy said, without missing a beat.
It's nice when he is into spanking me often. I am glad that he is sticking around for a bit before he travels again on business.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Swimming and spanking

Work drives me insane. I worked from home on Wednesday. The rest of my team stayed at work till 21:00.

I went into the office yesterday and pulled a twelve-hour workday. I am so exhausted, but I wanted to blog tonight, to unwind a bit.

My guy managed to give me a call from a cafe during my lunch time. Although he has been in Dubai for nearly two weeks, he is still jetlagged and doesn't sleep too well.

We were talking about working out and the pool at his hotel.
"I don't find swimming all that interesting, especially when I am swimming by myself," he complained.
"I think that it would be more fun if I were in the pool with you. I could splash you. I could also fondle you."
"Yes, I'd like that," he replied. "I could reciprocate."
Naturally, being spanking in a wet bathing suit would hurt quite a bit. I have never been spanked that way, so that will be a first when it does happen. A girl can certainly dream, of course.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

First experience with a USB cable as a flogging implement

On Wednesday, my guy and I had agreed to meet at our regular restaurant hangout at 12:45 pm. I got there just in time. My guy parked next to my car a few minutes later and honked to get my attention.

He looked good. He was wearing his new shirt that I had bought him. It fit perfectly. He told me that he loves it so much.

My guy apologized and said that he had a conference call during our lunch. I had asked why he didn't cancel. He didn't want to, for he has had to do that to me a number of times in the past and didn't want the stigma of cancelling on Wednesdays to build. It was sweet of him.

We ordered our food and briefly chatted before he went on his teleconference call. Luckily, it only lasted for half an hour. We got to chat more and he got to finish his lunch after it was over.

He asked me if I wanted to go downstairs. I could tell that he wanted to. I wanted a hug from him, so we did.

In our little corner, we hugged and kissed. I always get nervous when someone comes downstairs. Sure enough, someone did. I whispered to my guy that I was scared, like a little girl. He smiled and hugged me tighter. When the woman had closed the restroom door, we continued to kiss and hug.

My guy groped my buttocks. He then unzipped my pants and fingered me. It felt so good. I was so aroused. Moments later, I came and rested limp in my guy's arms. We hugged. I thanked him.

He went to wash up. I re-adjusted myself and went upstairs. I waited for my guy to return. He proceeded to pay for our lovely lunch and we walked out the door.

We both agreed that we wouldn't do lunch on Thursday. I had a 06:30 conference call and felt that it would be best to continue working from home. My guy had his Nexus interview across the street at lunch that day. Instead, I was going to be in the office on Friday. So, we rescheduled our lunch.

My guy looked down at the ground. We were standing in the parking lot, in front of our cars. There was a black cable. He picked it up.
"It's a black micro USB cable," I said.
"Yes," he replied. "I will have to see if it works."
"Yes, you need a spare one for your phone."
"I was thinking of using it as a whip and making red marks across your butt with it," he said, doubling the cable up and making a swish sound with it.
Although I don't like the thought of being whipped or flogged, whenever someone has a belt or a whip in one's hand, it turns me on thinking that it will be used on me.

I had asked my guy whether it would be okay to stop by the training room to chat after work. He told me that there was one software developer who hangs out there till the cows come home. Instead, my guy would give me a call if the coast was clear.

Well, after work, I decided to stop by anyway, I did have a work-related question for him. My guy had work-related questions for me, too. Sure enough, the software developer was there. I had met him previously. Luckily, the conversation between my guy and I lasted so long that the developer actually left the room and called it a day.

My guy offered me a bottle of water. We both walked over to the bottled water area, which was away from the hall camera. My guy groped my left buttock, which made me tingle and smile. He had a huge grin on my face.

He had to briefly leave the room to get something from his cubicle. He asked whether I could stick around for a bit. I was good with that.

Moments later, he came back with the black USB cable, which had carefully cleaned. He had doubled it up again in his hands.
"I need to use this cable on you," he said sternly.
"No, that's scary," I said, playfully acting scared.
My guy dimmed the lights. He brought his laptop over to the corner.
"You are going to be punished in that corner," he told me, pointing at the back of the room.
"No, you can't make me!" I said in protest, while I reluctantly followed him.
My guy set his laptop down on the desk. He then grabbed my right wrist, which was nice having him play the part of the strict disciplinarian.
"Get in that corner and face it," he ordered, leading me over there with a bit of force.
"You're mean!"
He started flogging me with the USB cable. This experience was new to both of us. He started flogging my hips, which hurt. I don't have as much padding up there as I used to. I had to tell him to flog me lower, as that is where the fleshy part of me is. I told him to flog me as if he were spanking me. He finally got the hang of it.
"That hurts," I said, rubbing my buttocks with my hands when we had a bit of a pause. 
My guy took my right arm and held it behind the small of my back. He continued to flog me.
"It hurts!"
"Shut up! You deserve it. You are such a bad girl."
It was a fun session of getting flogged. He intermittently played with my crotch and wanted me to climax, but stopped and flogged me some more.

He did eventually allow me to climax, which was awesome. He then hugged me from behind and played with my breasts. I love when he does that.

It was my first time being flogged. It hurt. I was rubbing my buttocks a lot. My guy got concerned and rubbed my cheeks for me. He apologized, being the true gentleman that he is.

Before we left the room, we hugged. I thanked him. He kissed me on both sides of my face. He kissed both my hands. He then placed both his hands on my cheeks and gave me a wonderful kiss.

We packed up. My guy nearly forgot his laptop. I had to remind him to bring it with him, which he did. We left the office. I drove home with a sore backside.

I looked at my bare bottom when I got home. I had some nice marks from our session. The soreness didn't last as long as a good, hard spanking does. I could like this mild flogging. I have to explore it some more.