Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sticking it out

The it in the title isn't meant to be a tongue-and-cheek innuendo of sorts. It is kind of clever if it were!

My guy and I met for lunch on Wednesday. His mood was much better. He says that he always smiles when he sees me. I think that I made him laugh a lot.

Our conversation over lunch was a good one. It took him a bit longer to get into his normal chatty self, but it was definitely a better conversation than we had on Monday.

What probably improved the quality was that I took the time out on Tuesday afternoon to write to him and share my insight on my experience battling depression. More importantly, I told him that I wanted to support him and to be there for him if he wanted to talk. I told him that I love him and admired how strong he was to tell me that he was depressed.

Although he is depressed and has lost his interest in a number of areas, including engaging in sex, I can tell that he still loves me. He knew that there was a heat draft directly under our table at the restaurant and suggested that we move, because I am a warm-bodied person. I told him that it was okay. My guy gets cold. I could simply roll up my sleeves if I started to feel warm.

He looked at my beige sweater and asked if it was new. I told him that he has seen it before, but I haven't worn it for a while. I had to remind him that he once told me that my erect nipple was showing underneath it. That detail jogged his mind. He remembered the breeze that day. I told him that he was the cause of my nipple getting all excited. My sweater was also larger on me than I had last remembered. He told me that larger is a good thing. I asked whether he was truly talking about sweaters, which made us both laugh.

He surprised me with a gift from Madrid. He got me castanets. He showed me how to place the strings on my thumbs and to try them out. It was a lot of fun. I felt like a lobster or crab for a bit.

After work, I headed to my car. His car was still there. I decided to lock my laptop bag in my car and to head to the training room. I dropped by to visit him. We had a decent chat about our day.

I asked him if I could give him a hug. He liked that. It was a nice twenty-second hug.
"Thank you, sweetness," he whispered in my right ear.
"I think that you need one," I replied.
After we unlocked from our embrace, he looked at me, with a huge smile on his face. I touched his face and was pleased that he was smiling on his own. He told me that I am still so sweet.

Baby steps. It will take a while for him to get out of his depressed state. All I can do is to be there and support him while he battles out of it.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014


I joined FetLife years ago. I am not sure why I did in the first place, other than the fact that I wanted to befriend other folks out there who like spankings.

The last time that I had logged on to this site was four years ago. Recently, I got a chat request from someone. I got an e-mail alert and decided to log on.

You would think that after so many years that I would neither remember my username, nor my password. I remembered them both on the first try. It was as if I had logged on yesterday.

The person who wrote to me was nice. We are chatting back and forth, trying to understand what we are both into while getting to know one another.

Would I ever want to be spanked by someone whom I am not dating? I have never thought about that till now.

Although I miss being spanked these days, I am just not in the right frame of mind to explore that avenue. I would rather have my guy spank me. In the meantime, watching birthday spanking videos and reading about every spanko's experience these days makes me content.

So, I will continue chatting with this person on FetLife. I am surprised that he took a chance on chatting with someone who hasn't logged on for years.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

My guy and his depression

My guy and I have talked about depression in the past. We have both had our bouts. However, mine have not been as lengthy as his can be.

He is currently going through a lengthy depression. It has lasted for nearly three months.

I have noticed a demise in his interests. We don't engage in sex as much as we used to. I haven't been spanked in weeks. We haven't talked much while we were both away on different business trips. Ever since I moved away from his cubicle at the office, he rarely goes to his. He hardly comes up to see me at my cubicle, preferring to stay in the training room.

Last Wednesday, he decided to connect with me on Skype at 18:30. Wednesdays are my longest days and I was heading home. He was on Facebook an hour earlier. I confronted him on the fact that he first apologized for not being online. Yet, he was indeed on Facebook. He said that he was swamped with work. I told him that I wanted to believe him, but his hours on Facebook did not add up.

He told me that he didn't feel like socializing. I suppose that it's a bit ironic that he decided to spend hours on a social network. Then again, I get what he meant. He wanted alone time, which meant being in front of his laptop. Throwing himself into his work is one symptom of being depressed. I do that often when I am depressed.

I told him that I felt that he was pushing me away. He admitted that he just feels anti-social. He still wants to go out for lunch with me. It is unfair for me to "wait" for him, as he barely communicates with me. Part of me wants to just call it quits.

I am not like that, though. He needs to know that I am there for support. It is completely different than thinking that I could possibly cure him of mental illness, which is completely out of my league. He needs help. I can love him and support him. I can't cure him. Professionals need to help him.

He told me to think about having lunch with him on Wednesday. Although he doesn't exhibit wanting or needing me these days, which is understandable under the circumstances, he still shows me that he wants to be with me. This little detail is an important one.

I need to insist that we go out for lunch when he is in town. I have a feeling that he hasn't been working out as often as he used to, so I need to suggest that he return to an activity that he enjoys. I also need to get his mind off being sad and to have him be more active.

I asked him if it was a particular thing that he was depressed about. Nope. He is just in a long, depressed state. Four years ago, he was on medication for a year and it took forever for him to get off it. The side effects were not pleasant for him. I still think that he needs to talk to a professional. If not, he needs to talk it out and talk things through, when he is ready. I reassured him that I am all ears when he feels like opening up to me.

He has opened up. Most men would not flat out say that they are depressed. He is comfortable with me that he can simply tell me so. I don't want him to isolate himself or to think that he is alone. He is not.

Sorry for the rather low tone to this post. It is my outlet to describe what is going on in my life -- both the happy and trying times.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Napping, hugging, reaching orgasm, and lightly patting my backside

It has been ages since my guy and I were both at the office. The last time was a few weeks back. I had meant to write about it, but just haven't got around to it until now. Life seems to get in the way, but it's all good.

Anyway, I went to visit him in the training room after work. He was sitting at the back of the room, looking at his Facebook feed, and laughing hard because he had offended his cousins with a jokey remark that he had made.

I was tired. The day was mighty long for me, so I ended up resting my head against my folded arm on the table. I closed my eyes. I may have napped for a bit.

My guy came over and whispered in my ear.
"You look so cute when you are asleep. You look peaceful. Let me take a picture of you with your phone."
I immediately snatched my phone away from him, as if I were a cat. He held me in his arms. It was nice.

He then poked my side, making me squirm a bit. I am ticklish and he knows it. I ended up curled up against his chest to make him stop tickling me.

Moments later, he was playing with my crotch. Eventually, he managed to unbutton my dark blue pants and unzip them. He was fingering me, coaxing me to reach orgasm. It didn't take long. He did a fine job and I was a relaxed, content little girl.

He lightly and lovingly patted my bottom while I was hugging him. Every workday should end on such a note.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Birthday spanking video capturing a milestone for Sarah Gregory

Just the thought of a birthday spanking gets me all happy, wet, and excited. I love everything about getting a birthday spanking -- from the anticipation of knowing that I will be getting one, going over a nice, comfy lap, to ultimately getting my birthday smacks across my bare bottom.

Sarah Gregory celebrated reaching thirty years of age. I love this birthday spanking. In the past, I have had my birthday smacks delivered to both cheeks. Sometimes, the count would alternate between cheeks. Other times, it would be all smacks applied to one cheek, and then equally applied to the other.

This video does it all. The birthday spanking begins with a cute pair of panties on the birthday girl, who goes across her mama's lap. They come down and it happens all over again. It is just great!

I sure wish that I had a birthday every day!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Breaking the news early in a relationship that you like to be spanked

When my guy and I first started talking on Skype after he made his move and told me that he found me attractive, he asked me what I was into from a sexual turn-on angle. I was hesitant, at first, to tell him that I liked to be spanked and to give out spankings. I didn't know what he would think of me. I wasn't sure if my love for spanking would change his perception of me. I wasn't even sure that he would ever want to try his hand (pun intended) in spanking me.

Well, he turned out to be open about it. He is my disciplinarian and playful spanker. He has grown to love spanking me and I am eternally grateful!

This video reminded me of our first spanking conversation, except that he was in Portugal at the time and he couldn't exactly pull me over his knee and spank me. Sadly, I don't have a full, plump bottom like this fine spankee has. Still, my butt turns that lovely shade of pink after my guy is done thoroughly smacking my backside.


Ah, such wonderful memories!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Birthday spanking video - a factorial birthday spanking

I mentioned in my last post that I have been watching a number of birthday spanking videos as of late. It is partly because I miss being with my guy, who is on another business trip this week. It will also be his birthday in just over a week.

Part of me would love to give him a playful birthday spanking. The other part of me would like him to give me his birthday spanking.

This birthday spanking video reminds me of one of the rituals that I like. This birthday girl is celebrating her 26th birthday. She gets a birthday spanking from age 1 through to 26. They aren't all hard smacks that land on her backside (frankly, I wish that the birthday girl would have had her bare bottom smacked and paddled), but this video still made me happy.


Thursday, March 13, 2014

Sick and tired, but alive

I feel like I have dropped off the face of the blogosphere. I didn't mean to. It just happened.

Since I last wrote, my guy went to Madrid for a business trip. It was for a week. He couldn't chat with me until late in the week. He doesn't handle jet lag as well as I seem to. We tried chatting on Wednesday, but his Internet connection died. We tried again on Friday and it was a much better conversation when your connection is stable.

That was the last time that I have spoken to my guy. The following week, I was off to Frankfurt for business. It was a last-minute trip decision, thanks to the various managerial staff who can't get their act together. Their late decision made me scramble to get my travel plans done and to ensure that my work was done before flying out. It was too late to get a corporate credit card. I just picked that up a few days ago, after my trip.

My guy was back in town while I was away. He couldn't chat on Skype, for he had one of those hectic weeks keeping clients happy. I was disappointed. I am sure that he was, too.

I got back this week. My guy is working from home all week. I ended up catching a cold and now have a cough. I have not been in the mood to talk. My guy, however, did send me a nice e-mail yesterday, telling me not to worry about all the work that I have to catch up with.

He knows me too well. He knows what to say when I need to hear it.

Unfortunately, I haven't got around to sharing the posts that I have been meaning to write here. I took the day off yesterday, as I truly was not feeling well. I slept for four hours during the daytime. I was dead to the world. We also had a snowstorm. Yes, it's March and roughly a week before Spring starts. Seeing snow does not make this sick girl happy.

That is all for now. Lately, I have been watching a lot of birthday spanking videos, so I hope to get around to sharing my findings here soon.