White moth visit

On Thursday night, I ran a few errands. I normally go grocery shopping on Wednesdays. This past Wednesday, I headed downtown for Beyond Monet. As a result, I delayed my grocery run till Thursday.

After having completed my errands, I was unlocking the front door to my home when a white moth came over. A white moth generally represents someone deceased who has come to say hi.

I knew immediately that it was my friend who passed away in early January. I have been thinking about her more this past month than usual.

I opened the door and the moth followed me in.

"I miss you," I said out loud, looking right at it.

I then headed indoors. I felt happy seeing a good friend.

Receiving my friend's voice message

Yesterday afternoon, I received a text message from my dear friend's hubby through my friend's cell phone. He had texted me a voice message from my friend that was played at her funeral service. He thought that I'd like to have it to remember her.

It was such a nice gesture. I texted him back and thanked him. I was grateful to have been able to attend her funeral from afar. Hearing her voice again was and still is comforting.

I sent him my love and thoughts to him and his daughter. He appreciated it.

It's hard to believe that it has been a week since I got the news about my friend's passing. Although I am healing, it will definitely take a while to get back to my regular self.

Grieving and celebrating my friend's life

On Saturday, I attended my friend's funeral online. It was my first experience attending a virtual funeral. I am grateful that the funeral home offered this service.

It allowed me to attend when the Canada-US border continues to be closed due to COVID-19. It's also nice for those who can't travel or want to stay safe to attend remotely.

It was a beautiful celebration of my friend and her life. There were many parts of the service that made me smile. Essentially, my friend organized her own funeral and made sure that we were all taken care of. She was always that way, including right up to her death.

I may write more about what was said and share in another post. Right now, I am simply reflecting and appreciate her even more.

I didn't write the previous day. On Friday night, I decided to grieve in my own way. I played music that she loved. It brought back fond memories of both of us attending these performances live and enjoying these songs together.

Alex Trebek

Alex Trebek, host of Jeopardy! and other Canadian game shows before it, has passed away. 

Cancer sucks. He was 80 years of age.

I grew up watching him on TV. I loved watching him host High Rollers and Pitfall. I then watched Jeopardy! religiously, to the point where I got my parents to watch the show with me. To this day, they both enjoy watching the show.

He always made sure that there was a Canadian question on each Jeopardy! show. I loved that he always had Canada on his mind. 

Such a huge loss. May he rest in peace.

Regis Philbin

I learned yesterday evening that Regis Philbin had passed away. He was 88 years old, roughly a month shy of being 89 years of age.

May he rest in peace.

Photo courtesy of gettyimages

I grew up watching Regis on Live! with Regis and Kathie Lee. I must have been in either grade 10 or 11. I loved them. It was to the point where I recorded their one-hour morning show on my VCR and watched it after school.

I watched the show when Kathie Lee left and it was Live! with Regis for a bit. Then, it became Live! with Regis and Kelly. I also watched him on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire while I lived in the States. It was great. Is that your final answer? Yes!

I continued to watch it until Regis retired. It was nice seeing him occasionally on Rachael Ray's show as a guest.

Regis was a wonderful storyteller. I loved his sense of humour. He was the best.

Minneapolis

It has been roughly three months since I was last in Minneapolis. The tragic death of George Floyd at the hands of a Minneapolis police officer is horrible and heartbreaking.

I felt safe when I was there practically monthly before the pandemic. I see looting, stores up in smoke, and clashing between outraged protestors and police on television. It makes me sad. I don't feel safe returning.

I believe in speaking up and protesting. It's frustrating to see people looting while taking advantage of the situation for their own agenda. It's not cool to steal goods from businesses.

I feel for everyone.

Life has its ups and downs

Life works in mysterious, wonderful ways. With sadness comes a silver lining.

I found out yesterday that my junior kindergarten teacher had passed away recently. She was musical. I remember singing in her class all the time and I loved it. It's likely one reason why I love music.

I posted her obituary on a social medium platform. A friend of mine revealed that we were likely in the same junior kindergarten class, but didn't know it. It's crazy to think that we have known each other since we were four years old! We forged a friendship in high school She switched elementary schools. Yet, we still have memories of truly knowing each other as four-year-old kids, but didn't make the connection until now.

Perhaps it's just a sign that our teacher's passing has sparked a new perspective on our friendship. Pretty cool!

Achy body, stronger heart, and reflection

I am still achy. It helped that I worked from home on Wednesday. I got to take it easier than if I were at work.

It has taken a while for me to realize that all the stress at work and in my life has finally hit me. I truly need to take it easy.

Yesterday marked my ex-husband's birthday. I didn't feel anything. I suppose that being in such an unhealthy relationship has made me numb. I hope that he is okay in heaven.

I do feel differently about my recent breakup. I loved my guy. I didn't feel the same way about my ex-hubby. I fell out of love with him, but stayed with him until I had the strength to leave.

It's good to know that time has healed me with my ex-hubby. Here's hoping that I am at that same peace of mind with my guy soon.

Having dinner with a friend and learning about another friend's passing

Last night, I had dinner with a dear friend. We have known each other since high school.

She let me know that a fellow friend in high school died a week before her 24th birthday. I was shocked and saddened.

I first knew her when we did summer school. We both took Cantonese for a couple of years. She was always nice to me.

Years later, in high school, we ended up in the same French class for two consecutive years. She was a year older than I was and I had skipped a grade in French.

She had bone cancer. I remember in high school that she walked with a cane for a year, but I never asked her about it. I just thought that she had broken her leg. My friend told me that she went through tons of cancer treatments. In the end, our friend decided to decline all treatments in the end and passed on.

I hope that she is resting in peace. It must have been so difficult for her family. She was so young and incredibly bright.

Death of my Google Pixel phone

Time of death: 8:25 am. Wednesday, September 26, 2018.

My Google Pixel phone worked just fine during the Elton John concert the other night. I took photos and a single video. Everything on my phone was automatically backed up.

As usual, before going to bed, I set my alarm on my phone, plugged it in, and went to bed.

I have two alarms set. One is on my old iPod, which works nicely. It woke me up on Wednesday morning. My phone did not.

I looked at my phone. The screen was dark. Pressing the power button did nothing. Pressing any button did nothing. Ugh.

Recently, I had a new batter installed. I thought that it may have caused the booting-up issue. I took it to the place that swapped out the phone's battery to look at it. The guy cleaned the USB-C connection on my phone. Nothing.

I left my phone with them to do diagnostics. Two hours later, I got a call. He couldn't revive my phone. The motherboard was shot. He said my phone was in pristine condition. There was no sign of water damage or odd abuse. He thought that perhaps there was a power surge overnight. Nope, I have a surge protector.

The good thing about this business is that it refunded the cost of my paying for the new battery. That was cool.

I have never owned a phone that has died in less than two years. I am currently using my four-year-old BlackBerry Passport. It works like a charm.

Next month, I am eligible to upgrade my phone without paying off its remaining balance. I am hoping that I can hold off for that long. I am still interested in getting a newer Google Pixel phone, despite this issue.

In the meantime, I have reported my dead phone to Google support. We'll see if anything can be done or if my phone is just a paperweight.

Dr. Death podcast

I love listening to podcasts. I have probably been listening to them since 2005.

I am currently listening to Dr. Death. It deals with Dr. Christopher Duntsch, a neurosurgeon who operated on 33 patients and eventually murdered three of them. He was an incompetent medical practitioner and the Texas medical board didn't act promptly when the first wave of complains came in.

It's a six-part podcast. I am listening to the fifth episode and can't wait for the final one. I feel for his patients who were operated on by this crazy doctor.

Former math professor is with his fractals in heaven

The other day, I was talking to my mini-me colleague at work about my second-year calculus professor that I had in my undergraduate years. Yesterday, I did a survey sent by my alma mater.

After completing the survey, while on my university's Web site, I did a departmental search of the Math faculty. This professor wasn't on the list. Perhaps he had retired.

I did a search on Google. Sadly, he had passed away nearly two years ago from cancer.

This man was such a gentle soul. He was fully bilingual (English and French) and bright. I didn't realize that he was Jewish, as his last name is waspy.

The last time that I saw him was probably in the early 2000's. I had come to visit a former computer science professor on campus and this professor was on the same floor. We chatted. It was nice. I have fond memories of our conversation. 

May he rest in peace and enjoy the fractals in his new universe.

Reflections - ex-hubby's birthday and love for my guy

Today is my ex-hubby's birthday. It's strange that he has been out of my life for several years now. Yet, I still remember dates that I should forget.

Our wedding anniversary was June 5th. I thought about it briefly earlier this month. I remember how happy I was that day. Sadly, things did not work out.

He died over three years ago. It seems longer. He died too soon. However, I am at peace.

He wasn't upfront and honest with me during the first few years that we dated. That foundation of our relationship was cracked right off the bat.

I am in a much better place with my guy. I am thankful that he dropped into my life. He is my best friend and the love of my life.

It's true that through rough times, happier times ultimately prevail.

Horrific deaths in Toronto

Monday was such a trying, tough day. A man took a rental van and plowed into a number of pedestrians in North York, in Toronto's north end.

I spent my undergraduate years around the Yonge and Finch area where this horrific event took place. I needed Finch station to transfer from one bus to another, or take the subway. Down a station is North York City Centre. I spent a ton of time studying at the library and grabbing a quick bite to eat.

Each time I see a van or vehicle plow into a group of innocent bystanders, it churns my stomach. It's such a senseless way to kill people because the person behind the wheel has issues. If you are enraged or upset, is this method the best way to deal with it? No.

I wish that I could do more. All I can do is hope that Torontonians love one another.

My summer job at a fish and chips store

As I grow older, I have noticed that many folks who have helped me along the way are passing on. I have yet another story to share.

I grew up in a friendly neighbourhood in Toronto. I went back there the other night to have dinner with my friend. We did a lot of reminiscing.

There used to be a fish and chips store a few blocks away from where I used to live. It was a family-run business. A Chinese couple owned and worked at the store for over thirty years.

When I was old enough buy an order of chips (fries) wrapped in newspaper for a dollar, I would visit the store after school. They were terrific.

A few years later, I asked my mom whether she could ask the owners if I could work for them that summer. My mom would often visit the store to get dinner. Sure enough, I got it. I had just turned eighteen years old.

I felt that I was slow learning about everything. However, my boss, Mary, had a chat with my mom and said the complete opposite -- that I was a quick learner and a hard worker.

I learned how to wrap fish and chips in newspaper. I even folded a number of open-faced newspaper holders for chips, so you could eat out of it as you walked. I honed my skills talking to and serving customers. I even learned about orange roughy.

The couple often insisted that I have dinner there. I felt odd about it. Eventually, I caved. It was delicious, as always.

The store closed just after I had earned my undergraduate degree. I have often wondered about the couple and how there were.

I decided to do a search. I learned that Mary had passed on in 2009 at the age of 72. She, like her husband, were kind and treated me like family. I regret not seeing them as much when my family had moved away a year after I had worked at the store.

May she continue to rest in peace.

Food poisoning and George Michael's passing on Christmas

Happy Boxing Day! I am still recovering from Christmas.

I had food poisoning from dinner on Christmas eve. I felt horrible for most of the day, especially with the sharp stomach pains that accompanied everything else that was happening.

I had a light dinner, which consisted mostly of soup and some yummy warm bread. I didn't want to take any chances.

I then learned that George Michael had passed away. I equate the 80's to be my decade. My mom bought my first four cassette tapes for me in the mid-80's. One of them was Wham's Make It Big. I loved that album so much. I still have the cassette tape!

He went on to do solo work. At first, I wasn't all that receptive to it, but it grew on me. As I grew older, I appreciated it more.

Like David Bowie, I have only seen George Michael once in concert. He was such a great singer and performer. He danced and sang with soul. I am so fortunate to have seen both these talents perform.

It is sad that they both died so soon. May George rest in peace.

Passing of my guy's mom

My guy's mom has passed away. He flew home yesterday for her funeral.

It is unfortunate that she passed just before the holidays. However, my guy saw her less than two weeks ago, so he is grateful for spending a week with her.

My guy is holding up under the circumstances. He is a wonderfully strong person who appreciates leaning on me when he needs to.

Passing of the ex-hubby -- reflections of being spanked as an adult by him

I found out about my ex-hubby's passing simply by doing a Google search.

To make an extremely long story short, our marriage was not a pleasant one for me. I needed to make a clean break from him, as it was an unhealthy relationship that I was in for many years. However, in his view, he thought that all was well and was devastated when I decided to file divorce papers.

His health had been in decline for a while. I hope that he is at peace.

When I first read his obituary, I wasn't sad. I was relieved in the sense that the unhealthy feelings and negativity that he cast on me would cease at long last.

However, I have fond memories of our relationships when things were good. I remember our first kiss and how special it felt. He took me to my first musical, The Phantom of the Opera. I felt special going out in a white sweater and black pants. I also got to discretely grope his hard cock towards the end of the musical.

He took me to my first NHL game. We watched hockey as often as we could. I also got the travel bug from him. I wanted to see the world and I still do.

He was the first man who spanked my backside as an adult. I was shy about having my bare bottom exposed, but I wanted to be spanked badly. He made me feel comfortable. He used a wooden clothes hanger, cane, slipper, bare hand, wooden paddle, and many other fun implements. I love being spanked to this day.

I also became fond of giving spankings. He loved being over my knee, with my wearing a short black skirt and pantyhose.

May he rest in peace.