Extended bereavement leave by a day

On Friday, I made the decision to take today off and extend my bereavement leave. I wasn't sure how I'd feel today. I actually feel okay.

I think that this leave has helped me sort out past issues within my family. It was a much needed period to reflect, grieve, and be at peace with everything.

I'm not sure what I'll do today, but I will take it easy.

Copycat diva, night guard, and two years being single

I returned to work yesterday. I dislike dealing with a diva who can't word things herself and can't think for herself. She actually copied and pasted two sentences of mine in her e-mail aimed at two other people, and copied me on it.

Wow. Such a jerk. 

My call was correct. I didn't even bother waiting for her e-mail to be sent out to seek confirmation from others. I knew what to do. She didn't.

I am picking up my night guard later on today. I'm looking forward to it.

Today marks two years since the ex broke up with me. It has taken me a long time to heal. I am finally there after kicking him to the curb and telling him not to contact me. I am proud of myself for being the one who didn't want him in my life in any form.

Theory about a mysterious gift last Christmas

Just before Christmas, I received a book from an anonymous person. I saw the Amazon Prime sticker on the box and thought that it was something that I had ordered that had arrived. I ripped the box open and still don't know who sent me this book.

I have been thinking that it may have been the ex-guy. He has an Amazon Prime membership. He obviously knows where I live. I haven't communicated with him since I told him to stop contacting me last July. He has never mentioned anything about this book. He likely got confirmation that the shipment was delivered and was satisfied with that information.

The book? It's The Longevity Paradox by Steven R. Gundry. It's essentially a book about how to live a long, healthy, happy life.

Perhaps the ex felt guilty that he broke my heart and ruined a part of my life that this book would help me. Maybe he truly wants me to live a longer, happier life.

Anyway, I haven't read much from it. I suppose that I should and see if I do grow old, happy, and healthy.

Enjoying a break

I have good and bad days, as do many folks. 

Although it has been over a year since my relationship ended, part of me misses the affection and playfulness of being with a partner. The other part of me knows that I'm not ready to be in a relationship at this stage. I'm okay with a break.

Having friends to talk to, keeping busy with my hobbies, and putting my thoughts down in this blog have been more than helpful. However, there are some days where I want to be by myself, lay in bed, and do nothing. I want to take a break from doing hobbies and blogging. I simply enjoy doing nothing.

And, it's okay. I work hard. Downtime is okay.

So, I have missed a blog post here and there. I know that there is no need to justify why. I'm good. I just need some downtime for myself now and again.

Quick update

My friend is healing nicely after her surgery. I was hoping to write about everything, but I'm tired and there is a lot to process.

I am thrilled that she's okay.

Severing a friendship after being romantically involved

I have been thinking about my ex-guy more than I should be. In the past, it has been easier to sever ties with my exes.

The issue is that he wants to stay friends with me. I find it difficult when friends often care about one another. He has hurt me by severing our relationship as a loving couple.

I feel that I need to sever the friendship or what's left of it. It makes my moving on easier. Luckily, he doesn't come into the office all that often, so it's easy. I also haven't been answering his e-mails. Again, it's easy.

Healing takes time. It's not all that easy, but it gets easier as I continue to heal.

Sick, missing, and tired

I am still sick. I will likely take a sick day from work today. Currently, my nose is stuffed up, I'm tired, and I have a slight cough.

Being sick makes me think more about my guy breaking up with me. I miss what we had. I don't miss being hurt, as I'm already there.

He just sent me a video to watch. In his own way, he misses me. It makes me even more upset that he is perfectly fine carrying on. I can't do that. I need time to grieve. He isn't in tune with his emotions as much as I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Although I have moments of sadness, I cannot sob in despair like I did the two previous times that he broke up with me. It's that inner strength this time that demands being treated better. It is his loss. I simply need to move on. It will happen with time.

I took naps throughout the day on Sunday. I felt better after each nap, but I am tired. I believe that I have earned a sick day to shake this cold off and heal from this breakup.

Rocketman, affection, and a cold

On Saturday, I went to see Rocketman at long last at the theatre. I loved it. I love movies about music and the lives of rock stars, both fictional and fact.

At one point in the movie, Elton John is on the phone with his mom, coming out as a gay man. She says to him that she knows, "You'll never be loved properly." It was a sad moment on how removed his parents were at dishing out affection.

It made me a bit sad that I don't have a man to dish out affection these days. I also miss the companionship. They are minor for me right now, as I need time to heal emotionally after this breakup. I decided to buy a book on healing after a relationship ends. Although I am doing well under the circumstances, I still have moments of sadness when memories flood in. Having a resource to get me through it doesn't hurt.

I have a slight cough and a stuffed up nose. I am on cold medication and am drinking a lot of fluids. I hope that the extra rest that I'm getting this weekend will help.

Attractive head with a small scratch

I love the shape of my guy's head. It's perfectly uniform. I find it sweet and sexy to caress.

The other day, we were talking. I looked up and noticed a small scratch on his head.

"Oh, no. What happened to your head?" I asked him.
"I must have scratched it somewhere. I need to be delicate around that area when I shave," he said.
"I hope it heals soon, I said," delicately caressing the area.

I just wanted to kiss his head in hopes of making his boo-boo heal faster.