Startled dreaming about my ex and being taken for granted at work

After a fairly long day working from home, I took a nap. I had been up since 06:45.

I had a dream about my guy kissing me on the lips and holding me like he used to. I woke up startled. I was in a slight panic.

It was a dream. I was relieved.

At first, I thought that the dream signalled that I missed him in my life. It wasn't that. I miss being affectionate with someone who will reciprocate. These days, I hug my stuffed purple sheep and penguin. It's not the same, but I am comforted by them.

Work continues to be stressful. I realize that I have some colleagues who take me for granted. I actually shut a person down because he was whining over a change that I had made to correct the version syntax that he got wrong. Apparently, I am supposed to let the world know about his mistake. He found it a pain to send everyone a revised hyperlink. I told him that my team is busy building documentation builds and pushing out a major release, which finally silenced him. He isn't a quarter as busy as I am.

My incompetent member continues to show me that she is a horrible listener and can't do tasks on her own. I don't understand why I end up with idiots on my team.

Staycation in less than two weeks

My guy returns home in roughly 1.5 weeks. Although it's never easy when he is away, this trip has been more bearable. It helps that he calls me every other day. Additionally, since he bought me a plush purple sheep, Woolly, hugging him when I need to helps.

"What time does your plane touch down?" I asked him.
"My flight arrives at around 7:30 am," he replied.
"I can book a room for that weekend," I suggested.
"That would be great. I can't wait to see you," he said.
"I'll be nice to see you, too," I said.

I have booked a weekend for us. We are both looking forward to our mini staycation.

Hugging purple Woolly and waiting for a spanking

I have mentioned that I love my stuffed sheep that my guy bought me earlier this year. He's purple and his name is Woolly.

Woolly makes me smile when I see him. He's huggable and is always smiling. He also has a uniform head, just like my guy.

My guy and I had a chat about Woolly.

"Woolly is such a perfect gift. He makes our time apart more bearable. I cuddle up to him every night," I admitted.
"You're so sweet," my guy remarked. "I wish that I was in bed with you, spanking my bad girl."

Just over a week, he can do just that.

Purple Woolly is my guy in disguise

I tell my guy often that the purple, cuddly stuffed sheep that he bought me was a wonderful, thoughtful gift. I hug him often, as he reminds me of my guy.

We had a talk about my stuffed purple sheep, Purple Woolly, recently.

"When I hold Woolly, one hand caresses his head and the other gropes his butt, kind of like what I do with you," I said.
"I'm glad," he said, smiling at me.

My guy thinks that he isn't a great at giving gifts. He is terrific at it.

Depression and signs of love

A friend of mine told me the other day that his son has been suspended from his high school for a few weeks. It kind of took me by surprise.

His son has been experimenting with some sort of drug in pill form. He has been taking it for at least a couple of weeks with some friends. Apparently, while he was high, he slapped the butt of a female student, which caused his suspension from school.

You hear all these stories about pills that get you high and how potent they can get. Some simply die from taking a single pill. So, I am grateful that his son is alive. However, there must be an underlying reason why he experimented with his friends.

My friend advised that his son is depressed. His son is in grade 9. I always feel that the transition between grades 6 and 7, and grades 8 and 9 to be the most difficult. For me, it was the former. I was incredibly depressed in grade 7 that I didn't want to go to school. It didn't make sense considering how much of I love to learn. I needed someone to talk about it, but I felt like I was being dismissed.

My cry for help was missing a ton of school. I managed to get counselling, which helped me talk things through and out. It made me realize that, despite missing nearly a month of school, that I still had decent marks. I still passed everything. I even managed to get the third highest mark in shop class out of all things!

His son is obese. His parents and daughter are bright as can be. He doesn't fit that mould. So, he is getting help by talking things through. I can only hope that things getting better for my friend's son and his family.

I told my guy about that. My guy and I know that both depression and anxiety tend to run in the family. Support is key. My guy has been doing pretty well getting help and being on medication. Naturally, it's different from one person to the next.

"I miss you," I said to him after our chat.
"Likewise," he told me. "I miss smacking your butt for being you."
"That makes me happy," I said.

My guy is happy and doing fine these days. I can't ask for anything more.

I went to the local drug store later that evening to pick up some vitamins. I found the purple sheep stuffed toy that my guy had bought me. There was only one left. It seemed like a nice sign that my guy is always with me, no matter where I go.

It's nice that I can come home and have reminders around that I am loved, especially when he is abroad.

Testing out seats in my guy's car and cuddling two woolly guys

On Saturday, my guy and I met at work at 15:30. I am the punctual one. I got there twenty minutes early. My guy made the effort to get there on time. He was only three minutes late, which is pretty good. Sometimes, it's far worse.

We parked next to each other. We both got out of our cars. I asked if I could drive his car and fix the slight crookedness of his parked car. He just told me to get into the car. I did. The driver's side.

"No, get back here," he told me, pointing out our treehouse.
"But, I've never been in the front seat. Can I at least sit here?" I asked him.
"Sure," he replied.
"It's nice. I'm a step closer to driving your car," I said enthusiastically.
"Keep dreaming," he stated bluntly.
"That's not nice. Your seat is warm. It's nice."

I then got out of the front seat and joined him in the treehouse.

"Can I have your car keys?" I asked him.
"Um, nope," he replied. "You can have these gifts instead."

My guy is sweet. I wasn't expecting gifts. The first one was a purple plush sheep.

"It's purple woolly!" I exclaimed.
"It had your name written all over it. I had to get it for you," he explained.
"He's huge. He's like a second pillow," I noted.
"He is. You can cuddle him," my guy said, watching me automatically cuddle purple woolly.
"I will, like I do with you," I said, which made him smile.

My guy also got me a practical gift. It's a car trash can that you loop over the headrest. I teased that he thought that I was messy. He knows that I like thoughtful gifts. He actually bought himself one and showed me how it works, which was great.

The gift were a nice start. I then cuddled with my true woolly guy who had a wool coat on.

Shorter week means more work, trips, and cuddles with Woolly

A shorter workweek sounds good. For me, it tends to be hectic. Unfortunately, I predicted correctly.

I work from home on Wednesdays. My boss booked a two-hour meeting yesterday. I was asked to join online. I decided to join for half an hour, citing having an appointment at 10:30 am. I am glad that I did. I spent the remaining time catching up on work.

It is pretty hectic trying to complete my own work on top of working with two summer interns. I spend a decent amount of time making sure that they know what they are doing. I then spend even more time reviewing their work, which involved a total of 1000 pages of edits within the past two days.

The fun part? I finished filing my travel expenses for last week's conference. As strange as it sounds, I enjoy filing expenses. I am organized. It's probably a math thing. I had all my receipts photographed. My boss knows how I tick. He immediately approved everything.

Guess what? I get to go on campus to one of the universities I had visited back in February to interview a new set of prospective interns to start work in September. I get to do a mini road trip this Friday with my boss, who likes that I end up expensing everything and driving us there. It really means that he will approve what we have for lunch.

He actually trusts me so much with my food recommendations that he has asked that I pick a place. Back in February, I chose a ramen place right off the bat, without even being asked to do this task. He was game. It's good that we both love food and I have a say in what yummy food I want to eat.

I miss my guy. I was cuddling Woolly, the stuffed plush sheep that he gave me, earlier. I had him in between my breasts. The way that Woolly looked at me reminds me of my guy doing the same thing after playing or sucking on my breasts.

My guy chose the perfect gift as a sweet reminder of him.

Finding the wooden ruler and loving Woolly

I was happy that Friday had arrived. It has been a good week. I have been training our new hires. On Friday, the three interns, my boss, a new writer, and I all went out for lunch.

On Thursday, I had to clean my car. I knew that I would be one of the drivers going to the restaurant.

Last weekend, my guy has spanked me with the wooden ruler that I typically keep in my car's glove compartment. After our treehouse time, I didn't know what he had done with the ruler.

I was panicking a bit inside. I went searching around the backseat. It turned out that my guy had slipped the ruler in the seat pocket in front of where he had been sitting.

I took the wooden ruler and placed it in the glove compartment. All was safe for my passengers to not question why I have a ruler in the first place.

My guy did send me a quick e-mail today. I was busy at work training the two new interns and writer. He wished me a nice weekend. I did the same in return.

We get to see each other on Monday. Next to my pillow is Woolly, the Irish sheep plush toy that my guy bought for me. I love it. It's a nice reminder of him.

Extra goodies and cuddles

My guy often tells me that he is horrible at giving gifts. To me, he does a fine job. He's too hard on himself.

On Saturday, when he gave me a number of fine gifts from his travels, he didn't tell me that he also decided to get me rum-flavoured chocolates. He knows that I enjoy chocolate. I love rum. So, put them together, and I love them even more!

I especially liked receiving the Shaun the Sheep plush toy. He is next to my pillow on my bed. My guy was right -- that this plush toy is great for cuddling. It's a nice reminder of my guy, as he often wears wool sweaters and I call him Woolly from time to time.

Counting while being spanked

Bare with me here (pun wasn't intended... honest!), as I take you through my twisted mind.

All week, Live! with Kelly has been giving moms money for doing various game show-like activities. At the end of the game, based on how many dolls had fresh diapers on them or how many mom singers were identified when their songs were played, mom contestants would get $100 for each correctly diapered doll or correct answer, respectively.

The counting of each hundred-dollar bill stimulated me. It was a bit of a surprise, at first. Just hearing the audience and the co-hosts shout, "One! Two! Three!" in unison reminded me of getting spanked.

I like being spanked on my birthday. One reason is that I like getting spanked my age over a clothed bottom, over my panties, and then across my bare bottom. The interesting tidbit is that I have never been asked to count each smack across my backside out loud. I do, however, count in my head, which turns me on.

Would I enjoy the semi-embarrassment of counting each smack that I get? I would need to explore this option. My guy, for instance, does keep tabs on how many smacks that he is administering. He, too, counts quietly.

To me, this observation is eye-opening. I am a numbers gal. I nearly majored in mathematics, but settled to minor in the subject as an undergraduate student. Although I have always enjoyed math, my love for the subject would have been heightened if I had applied it to something enjoyable, like spankings.

When I get to see my guy next week, I will need to see if my counting the swats that I receive would arouse us.

I haven't talked much about my guy as of late. The other day, he had told me that his mom had to go into the hospital for an emergency procedure. My guy handles stress well and he took this past week off to be with her. They are both doing well.

I am about to hit the sack. Sadly, counting sheep doesn't turn me on.