Healing and reading my book on healing after a breakup

I managed to continue reading my book on healing after a breakup. It has been helpful.

When my ex-guy told me that he wanted to end our relationship this past May, I went through a mild panic attack. When I told him the following day, he asked whether I should see a doctor to get medication. I told him that it's sorting out my feelings about losing someone that I love and that popping pills wasn't the first thing that I needed to do.

I know how I handle this type of panic attack. It's a question of knowing that I will be okay without him and that I will find happiness with someone down the road that makes the panic attack go away.

I was right. With time and the right frame of mind, I don't experience this mild panic anymore.

However, I still have moments of sadness. According to the book, it's normal. I knew that, too. It's nice to get confirmation that I'm doing just fine as I continue healing.

Do normal colleagues exist?

It was a busy Monday at work. My colleague who joined my team almost two months ago showed odd signs of incompetence.

She has been with the company for a good three years. She completely messed up a procedure and insisted that "everyone" updates these pages the same way as she. I actually had to disprove her. Even my manager got into the conversation.

Weird. I sometimes have to wonder whether there is something different about the way that she is wired. Luckily, I get a break from seeing her for a couple of days. I am working from home. It's a distraction to have her approach me a couple of times an hour when I am in the office.

I miss having normal colleagues.

Blogger comment notifications and business travel

For several months now, e-mail notifications for Blogger comments have died. I had to manually check in the Comments section of the Blogger editor whether you fine folks have left messages.

Well, the other day, I got an e-mail from Google, asking me to confirm whether I wanted e-mail notifications whenever comments have been added on my blog. Yes, please!

It's nice that things are getting back to normal.

My guy is set to go on another business trip this Saturday. He asked me whether I would like to accompany him. I would have typically said yes without any hesitation, except that I am training new students starting on Tuesday, along with two other colleagues in another country.

I am hoping that he goes on another business trip a month or so down the road. I'd love to join him and spend some time together.

Periods - noting details and scheduling sex

It's that time of the month. Both my guy and I were thankful that we had so much fun last week! This week is obviously a bit of a breather.

When I first got my menstrual cycle, I was twelve years old. I noticed within the first couple of years that it was abnormal. You're supposed to have one each month. Mine were unpredictable. For the first ten years, I could go a year without one, give or take a few months.

I recall going to my doctor. I had my thyroid checked. It was fine. I got hormone pills that helped start my period.

My periods were heavy. They lasted six to seven days.

When it came to sex, it was nice that I didn't have regular periods. I could engage in sex often. I am not sure if my lack of a normal menstrual cycle ended up heightening my sex drive.

Roughly five years ago, I lost sixty pounds. To this day, I am proud of this achievement. I have been able to maintain it ever since.

What came with this weight loss was a regular menstrual cycle. These days, I can accurately predict when it is going to happen, unless I am stressed that it gets missed. I also missed my period for a month after I had back surgery.

I didn't do my regular exercise regimen last weekend for a couple of days. Whenever I skip exercising, my cramping is the worst. Yesterday, my cramps were bad. Luckily, ibuprofen works for me.

The other thing that tips me off that my period is about to happen is a dull ache in my lower back. Yesterday, it was pretty bad. Again, ibuprofen seems to help here, too.

The good news is that my cramping and lower back ache last for roughly 24 hours. I will be fine when I wake up on Friday.

Oh, and my periods these days aren't as heavy as they used to be. They also last for five days, at most.

It's amazing how hormones and my body work. I asked my doctor and she said that my weight loss ended up balancing my hormones.

My guy is sweet. He finds that I don't go into an I-hate-the-world type of mentality when my period hits. Rather, I seem more at peace. It's a bit strange, but he's correct.

He always asks whether it's okay to spank me when I am on my period. I am fine with it once my cramping goes away. I also insist of being spanked over my pants or whatever I am wearing.

Technically, it's not really a quiet week when I have my period. Spankings continue. We just take a break when it comes to sexual intercourse. I also like focusing on him by giving him a handjob or blowjob, depending on what he would like.

It's all good.

Nervous energy, in a good way

My guy returns home from camping for nearly five days. It will be fun hearing all about his stories.

I have been preparing for a presentation that I am giving to my peers later on today. I am nervous. I think that it's normal to feel this way. It means that I care about what I am going to talk about.

The weird thing is that my feelings from my past are resurfacing. I feel anxious.

I used to dislike speaking in front of crowds. These days, I talk a lot in front of peers. Yet, I feel that I have a mild case of butterflies-in-my-stomach jitters.

My first bout was back in grade 7. We often did presentations often. I disliked speaking. Mind you, there were a number of other factors that year on top of this issue. I basically skipped a total of a month's worth of classes. I wanted to avoid so much -- people, homework, assignments, class presentations, and so much more.

So, feeling a bit nervous is perfectly good. I know the content well. I have taught it to student interns both past and present, as well as colleagues. If I didn't feel anything, I would definitely be concerned.

Here's hoping that all goes well with my talk today. The crazy thing is that I am slated to give two more presentations in September. I should be a pro at it by then!