Thinking of a best friend from the past

I had a best friend in grades 7 through 9. In grade 8, in an activity that we did in French class, she revealed that she was sexually abused.

I stayed with her and our French teacher to talk it out. I had an orthodontist's appointment and my dad was waiting for me, wondering why I was running late.

Our friendship suffered as she became more of a feminist and preferred to have lunch in the washroom by herself, rather than eating in the lunch room with a bunch of us.

Walking together to school slowly dwindled. We drifted apart. She changed high schools in grade 11. We didn't keep in touch.

The last time I saw her was in a store on Yonge Street, which is the longest street in the world and starts in Toronto. It was at the end of my second year of undergraduate studies. We said hi. She was with a woman. I was with my good friend whom we are still friends to this day.

I think of her often. Today is her birthday. I hope that she is doing well, wherever she is.

Saying goodbye for now to a friend as she moves to the west coast

Ontario has moved to step 3 of slowly getting out of lockdown. Indoor dining is now available. Yay!

On Saturday, I met up with two friends. One of them is heading to the west coast for graduate school. We decided to meet up before she moves over there.

The restaurant that we chose was by Lake Ontario. It also is one of my favourite eateries. The restaurant does not accept reservations for either indoor or outdoor dining.

We had 1 pm as a meetup time. I got there fifteen minutes early. The hostess was so great. There were many tables available. I went with indoor dining because it was raining outside.

The food was fabulous. I got our friend a parting gift. My other friend got me a belated birthday gift. I felt so bad that I didn't get her a gift for her birthday back in January. I hope to make it up to her by taking her out to dinner.

It was a lovely day. We managed to take photos by the water, with the Toronto skyline as our backdrop.

Back to work and my reaction to the jerk's e-cards

My work e-mail inbox had just under 300 messages waiting for me. It took me half the day to get through it.

I also provided support for my colleague who was training a new colleague. It was nice to ease into work.

The ex sent me two e-cards on my birthday over a week ago. The only positive thing that I can think of is that he was on time for a change. I don't understand why he sent me two.

I wanted to ignore them. I wanted to confirm that they were boring. They were. No emotion. Nothing heartfelt on his end.

One of the bucketed greetings indicated that I was "one of the greatest people that [he] knew." It's interesting how hindsight works. The damage has been done.

My reaction to those cards:

I'm okay. Time has certainly help me deal with this jerk.

Birthday recap

My birthday was lovely. I spent the day picking up birthday perks and ordering food that I love.

My list of fun perks consists of these items:

• Starbucks - free drink
• Chapters - bought Richard Marx's new book as my gift to me
• The Body Shop - $10 off any purchase
• Sephora - free birthday gift (I chose a mini face cream and lip mask set)
• Kettleman's Bagel - free dozen bagels (I went with onion)
• Denny's - free grand slam breakfast when you show your ID (pay for tax only)
• Fat Ninja Bite - a local Korean eatery where I got dinner

It was a great day.

The only downside was getting two e-cards from the ex. I don't know why he sent two seven minutes apart. I haven't opened them. I don't want them spoiling my weekend. Frankly, I don't think that I want them to spoil my life.

Week 2 of my staycation begins. It has been relaxing so far.

It's my birthday!

It's my birthday. My second pandemic birthday.

I love the person that I have become. I continue to shape who I am as I navigate through life.

Here's to more years ahead.

Pre-birthday outings and cookies

My friend took me out for a pre-birthday meal on Sunday. It was terrific. I rarely go out on Sundays. It was nice seeing civilization on a patio and catch up with my friend.

I have consumed more booze this month than all of last year. It's amazing what great weather and patios being available will do.

I am enjoying my vacation so far. I went out to get free cookies and a watermelon Italian soda that I got as a perk. Tomorrow, I have more free cookies that are a birthday perk. Yay!

Birthday celebrations at a patio and at the beach

I had a great day celebrating our birthday with a good friend. Her birthday was last week. Mine is early by a week.

We spent time eating and drinking on a patio. We then drove down to the beach to chat and take in the relaxing vibes around us. We also exchanged gifts.

I got her half a dozen donuts from Toronto. She moved away a few years ago, so we meet midway.

It's a great start to my vacation. Happy weekend, everyone!

August, hockey, and birthday reward

It's August. It's weird watching hockey on TV in the middle of summer. I'm not complaining. I have missed it and I'm glad that it's back, with safety measures in place.

I ran a bunch of errands on Saturday. I had to hit a store at a mall to use my birthday reward. It would have expired today.

The woman cashing me out wished me a happy birthday twice. It reminded me that I need to give myself a self-spanking.

I was exhausted after my errands and being out in the sun. I'll strive for later on today. My right knee is fine, so I am all set.

End of my vacation and a Starbucks birthday memory

In a few hours, I head back to work. I am working from home till the end of this year.

This staycation has been nice. I have enjoyed being stress-free for over a week. I am relaxed. I am sad to see my vacation end, but it eventually had to.

I will share a nice memory of this vacation. At Starbucks, if you are a part of the rewards program, you get a free beverage or food item on your birthday.

I visit my local Starbucks often, which is roughly twice a week during this pandemic. I am and have been a regular customer for several years.

On my birthday, when I went to pick up my beverage, the barista over the drive-thru speaker wished me a happy birthday. I returned the following day and two baristas wished me a belated birthday.

It was such a sweet gesture. They made me feel special. 

Soreness, forgiveness, and Hamilton

The soreness from my self-spanking is nearly gone. I'm so pleased with my work!

On my birthday, I treated myself to Hamilton, the musical that was released that day, by signing up forf an account on Disney+. I finally watched it and loved it.

I am not great at forgiveness. It's part of how I cope. If you have hurt me, I don't want anything to do with you.

It's currently the situation with the ex-guy. I don't want anything to do with him, so I can't forgive him for breaking my heart. I don't think I could ever be forgiving, like Eliza was to Alexander Hamilton by taking him back.

If you like musical and historical stories, go stream Hamilton. It's excellent.

Content girl with sore butt

I have always liked when a good, hard spanking leaves me sore for at least a day. I am at that stage right now.

When I'm driving, I can feel the soreness, especially when I go over speed bumps. When I go to sleep, I wake up on my side because it hurts to sleep on my back, with my butt pressed against the mattress.

I do miss being spanked by someone. However, I'm pleased about last night's birthday self-spanking. I look forward to doing it again when I am horny and my current soreness subsides.

My birthday self-spanking

My birthday self-spanking was great. I'm sore sitting here, writing this post. I did a great job!

I had a number of different methods to get to a specific number of smacks to give myself. I have a love for numbers and my undergraduate minor was in math. It explains one reason why I like planning a birthday spanking.

In the past, when I was way younger, I liked the summation of years that I have been on this planet. The downside is that this number gets huge as you age. Although I am not horribly old, I am also not in my thirties. I may try this summation method when I am more adventurous, with a need for a lengthy self-spanking.

My calculation for my self-spanking started off by taking my age and adding a 0 to the end of it. I then divided by 2, which would be the number of smacks on each buttock. Since this number was divisible by three, I had three different implements that I wanted to use:

• A wooden paddle, which I used the last time I spanked myself and it was effective
• A silicone paddle that has a smooth side and a slightly bumpy side
• My bare hand

I started off with my hand warming my butt over my panties. On each buttock, I gave myself my age in smacks plus one to grow on.

I pulled my pink panties down around mid-thigh. I gave myself the same number of smacks on each buttock, plus one to grow on. I started getting aroused.

I went with the wooden paddle first. I administered a number of smacks on each buttock, increasing how hard I was paddling myself as I got into it. I wouldn't say that they were super hard smacks. They were in the medium range to build up some warmth on my buttocks.

I have forgotten how much I love my silicone paddle. I smacked each buttock hard with the smooth side of the paddle. I loved the sound that it made with each smack. I was on my one hand and knees as I smacked one buttock, and then changed hands to smack the other.

Something that I haven't experienced is reaching orgasm in this position while paddling myself hard. I came and it was so pleasurable. I was extremely wet and happy. I stretched out for a bit to enjoy the moment.

I decided that I loved this silicone paddle so much that I used it instead of my bare hand for the third part of my spanking. I flipped the paddle over and used the bumpy side. I loved how it felt and sounded across my bare butt. I felt the sting. I liked feeling like a birthday girl deprived of a good spanking for a long time, and delivered one that I wanted and deserved.

After all that was over, I gave myself my birthday spanking with my hand. It ended almost the same way as it had started. Each buttock got my age in smacks, plus one to grow on. The difference was that they were all across my reddish bare bottom.

So, how many smacks did I give myself? If I have calculated everything correctly, I gave myself 774 smacks.

I also pinched myself four times, just to figure out how sore I was. I used to love getting pinches. I haven't for a while and wasn't into it that much.

This self-spanking was much needed. I need to give myself a self-spanking more regularly. I feel so relaxed now. I'm sore, but happy.

I had a great birthday. I have the soreness to prove it.

Happy birthday to me!

I made it! I'm a year older and am still grateful to be alive in this odd time.

This birthday girl will be administering her own birthday spanking. It would be nice to have a spanking machine or an extra hand (haha!) in the matter. I'll supply more details once the festivities are over.

Staycation and plans for a birthday spanking

Last year, I was in Ottawa on vacation, celebrating Canada Day. It's incredible how different this year looks and feels.

While on vacation last year, I didn't give myself a birthday spanking. Being out and about as a tourist didn't make me even think about it.

I'm thinking about it now. It does get me aroused and excited.

I have a few plans. It's a question of figuring out which one I want the most and how long I want to spank myself for.

In the meantime, I came across this birthday spanking video. I like the idea of taking someone else's birthday swats.

Planning ahead and relaxing

I'm meeting up with a friend on a patio on Tuesday. We are both celebrating our birthdays while finally seeing each other since December of last year.

I am a decent planner. I don't need to hit a store to get a gift for her. I did all this shopping before the pandemic hit. I don't even need to get her a greeting card. I've taken care of that, too.

It's different doing a staycation this year. I'm more focused on me. I have been going at full speed at work for a few months. It's nice to take it easy.

My ex-guy wrote after realizing that I missed his birthday for the first time

A few posts ago, I wrote about deciding not to wish my ex-guy a happy birthday. I felt good about my decision.

It's not shocking, but he noticed that I didn't. I remember dates well. It was always like clockwork to send him an e-card or an e-mail to wish him a happy birthday.

Last night, he wrote back to me. In the Subject line, he said, "Hope you're doing well!" He then enclosed a photo of two purple birds perched on a tree.

Purple is my favourite colour. Birds are okay. They aren't my favourite, though.

There were two of them. Am I reading into the whole thing too much that they represented us? What we used to be or what we should be?

I also thought it was fitting that he wrote on April Fool's Day. I'm not sure if he was being genuine or playing a sick prank. Perhaps it was simply coincidence.

My ex's birthday and not wishing him a good one

Today is my ex-boyfriend's birthday. It is the first in a long time where we are not a couple.

Although I am a thoughtful person, I have made the painful decision to not wish him a happy birthday. Saying a one-sentence greeting will prompt communication with him.

I don't want it. It would hurt. Thinking about him still does here and there.

I know how I felt when he had reached out to me a few times since he broke up with me. I didn't like him wishing me a happy 2020. It felt like a farce and incredibly insincere. I didn't like when he wished me a happy birthday last year. He was late, but made the claim that he was still on time. Whatever.

Although I miss his kisses, hugs, and conversation from time to time, the bottomline is that he broke my heart. It's not in my best interest to open up a healing wound by initiating conversation with the very person who hurt me.

Hair, bag, and a good birthday self-paddling

On Saturday, a couple of nice things happened to me.

I first went to get my hair cut. The hairdresser asked me what I wanted done. She held my hair in her hands and commented that I have nice hair. I felt good, as it has taken time and some effort to get my hair to its current state.

I then went to the grocery store and bought a few items. The woman at the cash register asked if I needed a bag. I said that I was good and took out my reusable bag from my tiny purse. She was amazed at how large and durable my bag was. She even commented that it was a pretty pink. I let her know that I had purchased it from Indigo.

Tonight, I decided to spank myself. I needed it. I started out with a hand spanking over my panties. They weren't hard spanks, but enough to arouse me.

Several months ago, I bought a beach paddle set. I hadn't used the paddle on me until tonight.

I was pretty bold in that I started using the wooden paddle across my bare butt. I started lightly swatting each buttock, ultimately building up such that I gave myself several birthday spankings. It became paddling my age on one buttock plus one to grow on, and then I switched to the other buttock. I did it again, but harder, on each butt cheek. I ended it all by giving myself my birthday swats plus one for good luck across both buttocks.

I am a bit sore, but I feel good. I'm now horny thinking about the whole fun ordeal.

Some things are them, but not really

My ex-guy sent me a happy birthday message an hour after my birthday was over. He was late, which is who he is.

Some things never change. And yet, a ton has changed.

He has written a couple of e-mails to me since we broke up. I haven't replied to them. He said that he rarely checks his e-mail. He has written to me more from this account as of late.

I still need time away from him. This vacation has been therapeutic and helpful in my getting over him.

Birthday highlights and pedal boating coming up

My birthday was wonderful. I got to meet a friend in person after establishing an online friendship for a few years.

We had lunch together at a Vietnamese restaurant. She got me a birthday gift, which was so thoughtful of her. We walked around Chinatown. She gave me tons of suggestions and recommendations on places to go and restaurants to try out. She's great.

I took in a movie. Yesterday was great. I cried at the end. I haven't cried in a while. It felt good.

I had dinner at a Thai restaurant. The green curry that I had was fantastic.

Through my friend, I signed up for pedal boating later on today. At least I'm getting a decent workout during my vacation!