Thinking of a best friend from the past

I had a best friend in grades 7 through 9. In grade 8, in an activity that we did in French class, she revealed that she was sexually abused.

I stayed with her and our French teacher to talk it out. I had an orthodontist's appointment and my dad was waiting for me, wondering why I was running late.

Our friendship suffered as she became more of a feminist and preferred to have lunch in the washroom by herself, rather than eating in the lunch room with a bunch of us.

Walking together to school slowly dwindled. We drifted apart. She changed high schools in grade 11. We didn't keep in touch.

The last time I saw her was in a store on Yonge Street, which is the longest street in the world and starts in Toronto. It was at the end of my second year of undergraduate studies. We said hi. She was with a woman. I was with my good friend whom we are still friends to this day.

I think of her often. Today is her birthday. I hope that she is doing well, wherever she is.

Hockey games and travel plans

I am analyzing the hockey games that I have tickets for this upcoming season. They require that I travel down to the Twin Cities. One of the tickets is for the Winter Classic games, which is so exciting because it's outdoors at Target Field. I have never been there.

I have my regular vacation just before Christmas till after New Year's Day. I am considering using some of my 2022 vacation to add an extra week to my vacation. It will allow me to take in three hockey games.

There is also thought about travelling in early October for a longer weekend. I can also try working abroad for a week in late November, so I can catch two games after work.

The good news is that I can fly. I am still a bit concerned about the mask situation in the States. It seems less reinforced than it is in Canada. Even though I am fully vaccinated, I don't know whether it's true for those around me.

I am doing a lot of planning right now. It's exciting to think about travelling again. It will be different.

A colleague saying hi and sending a virtual hug

On Friday, a colleague whom I haven't chatted with for a few months pinged me on Teams. She said hi, wanted to know that I was good, and sent me a hug from afar. It was so sweet of her.

On the whole, our working relationship has been decent. I've been at this company for nearly eleven years and she was there when I started.

We had some rough waters when she transitioned from a quality assurance team lead to a program manager on my team. She was so stressed out that she took some of that out on me and I wouldn't have it.

Eventually, another colleague took over my role on those two teams as I moved over to reviewing everyone's work on our writing team. When this colleague resigned, I had to step back in and complete the work that she hadn't done. That's when the program manager realized how valuable my contributions were and our working relationship went back to what it was before. I completed everything that the previous person had left behind and the program manager was thankful.

Late last year, she was involved in a serious car crash. My manager let me know about it because he knew that we had worked closely together. I sent her e-mails of encouragement and let her know that I was pulling for her.

It's great when you have a lovely chat with someone on a Friday afternoon. She is doing much better these days, which is wonderful news.

Video of my late friend

I wanted to sleep in on Friday. I did manage to get more sleep, but I received a couple of text messages at 09:00.

They were from my dear friend's husband. She had passed away in early January. He was using her phone to text me, like he did back in January, and said that it automatically put all photos featuring her into a video. He then texted me this video.

It's a nice keepsake to have. When we met up, we rarely took photos together or of each other. I have a handful of them from trips spent with her over the years and I cherish them. This video is special, to remember her by.

The last photo is recent one, probably closer to her passing. She looked thin and tired, which would be expected going through chemotherapy.

I have been thinking about her often. It's nice that I am now keeping in touch with her husband.

Dating and falling in love

Getting to know someone through texts is going surprisingly well right now. It requires some effort, but it has been pretty enjoyable getting to know each other.

He told me that he is starting to fall in love with me. We have been texting daily for nearly two weeks now. It's nice that we have feelings for each other. He's a decent person and we are taking it slow.

I like not being under any pressure. I like that our conversations evolve naturally. We think of each other often.

It's all about taking it at a comfortable pace. It's good.

Figure it out!

I worked from home on Wednesday. I realize that a number of my colleagues can't figure out things on their own. They simply ask questions and hope that someone like me will hand them these answers on a silver platter.

I am tired of this mentality. I figure out answers on my own. Why can't they do the same thing?

My manager is a part of this group. He can't do work himself. It is that part of management that I don't want to aspire to. I don't want to look or be incompetent.

Anyway, that's my little rant. I'm off to bed, hoping that Thursday will be happier and far more promising.

Friday lunch with good people at work

On Friday, a colleague, who is also my friend, wanted to cook for my intern and me. I was so thrilled that she wanted to feed us lunch.

She made chicken curry, which was delicious. My intern brought in rice, which was fluffy and perfect. I brought in gourmet cookies to complete our meal.

I like that all three of us came together to make our lunch work. My intern brought plates and cutlery. Good thinking!

Lunch was wonderful with good company.

Sadness at night

I have moments of sadness. They typically happen in bed at night.

Last night was rough. I was sad about how my ex-guy had let me go. We shared so much and everything just ended.

Poof. Just like that.

It's unfortunate that I am a sensitive, feely person. It takes me a while to sort my emotions and get over this hump. I'm not on a strict healing schedule when I need to be happy now and in a relationship. I have been good on the most part. Being busy helps. Doing what I enjoy has been therapeutic.

At night, I'm simply lying in bed. Thinking. Memories rush in. I feel sad when they are about my ex-guy.

I still haven't been able to fully cry. My eyes get teary, but they don't fall down my face. I'm not as sad as I have been in the past when he has previously broken up with me.

I know that I deserve better. I deserve to be with a good guy who loves me and wants me.

I am hopeful. I just wish that these sad moments would fade, but that will take some more time.

Sick, missing, and tired

I am still sick. I will likely take a sick day from work today. Currently, my nose is stuffed up, I'm tired, and I have a slight cough.

Being sick makes me think more about my guy breaking up with me. I miss what we had. I don't miss being hurt, as I'm already there.

He just sent me a video to watch. In his own way, he misses me. It makes me even more upset that he is perfectly fine carrying on. I can't do that. I need time to grieve. He isn't in tune with his emotions as much as I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Although I have moments of sadness, I cannot sob in despair like I did the two previous times that he broke up with me. It's that inner strength this time that demands being treated better. It is his loss. I simply need to move on. It will happen with time.

I took naps throughout the day on Sunday. I felt better after each nap, but I am tired. I believe that I have earned a sick day to shake this cold off and heal from this breakup.

More aggravation with the incompetent colleague

The incompetent colleague continues to prove that she is not the brightest tool in the shed. I had had it with her on Monday.

On Friday, she asked a manager for information. He responded that same day. She asked the same question first thing on Monday morning, which made him respond by saying that she didn't need to ask so soon. Before all of that, I had indicated the same thing to her.

She cannot think for herself. She can't assess any situation. She just sees a task on a checklist and does it. Ugh!

What annoyed me even more was that she proceeded to ask the same manager for a different set of information. I had explained that I had all this information for the last two team meetings. It means that our entire team has all that information. She doesn't pay attention. She continues to show everyone that she cannot comprehend simple things.

And, she constantly talks without listening. I had a short fuse on Monday and told her to stop it.

She is to be let go. The problem is working at a company that has tons of procedural nonsense that needs to be done beforehand. It's at my manager's manager level. It likely means that it will take another month before she leaves the company.

I am surprised that I am not committed at a mental institution by now.

She also is indifferent when it comes to emotions. I've never met anyone like that. There is no compassion there, which is odd to me.

Incompetent colleagues

I work with a few bad apples. Otherwise, things are good at work.

First, there is a person who is older than I am. He is also a team lead like I am. He is highly incompetent. He didn't do his job on a straightforward task. It was to the point where I actually knew more about what he was supposed to do than he did. I don't even work in that area these days. I have dabbled in it in the past.

He blamed getting the information "at the last minute." I corrected him by saying that communication wasn't there between he and his teammates. Additionally, if he is going to write something that he is unclear about, he needs to ask.

Then, there's my incompetent colleague whom is supposed to take over some of my job responsibilities and isn't even close. She was asked by someone to provide status in an e-mail initially. This woman then pinged her on our corporate instant messaging app. The newish incompetent colleague ignored responding to both methods, as I had expected.

I asked her to write back. She said that she would do so "with [my] exact wording." I told her that she needs to think for herself. I'll need to have yet another talk with her. She is unfit for this position.

Finally, there is this woman who pinged my incompetent colleague. She assumed that our work needed to be done today. I asked her politely whether the deadline had changed. My team completes our work at least a day before the deadline, which would make it Thursday and not her made-up deadline of Wednesday. Luckily, the manager who is in charge happens to know how my team ticks and he is actually our manager. He said that we could take our time and that the deadline was indeed Thursday.

Ah, the joys of dealing with people who need help doing their jobs at the most basic level.

Text messages to quick make the day better

It's almost instinctual these days that when I miss my guy, he will send me a pick-me-up message. It's just gut instinct.

He sent me a quick text message. He hoped that my eye is getting better and that I'm still enjoying the pics that he finally sent me after nearly two years since I had taken them on his phone.

The good news is that my left eye is back to normal. My rash on my wrist is still there, but the hydrocortisone cream that I apply on it seems to be helping.

I can also tell that it's a mutual vibe. He sends me texts more often when he misses me, too. It's nice.