Thoughts about dating and double-standards

I was wrong. The guy whom I've been chatting with online as of late resurfaced online. He said that he was out with friends.

I feel like there's such a double-standard already. He put the guilt trip by saying that I am busy with work. Meanwhile, he decided to not respond to anything for an entire day. It didn't exactly bug me that he didn't. We have lives. I just don't like the guilt trip that he did.

The other odd thing about this man and online dating is why does he insist on getting a photo of me. My profile pic is good enough. I don't do selfies. I find them superficial. Why insist? It's not my style and I should not be pressured to take a selfie just to appease someone who doesn't have a clear profile picture of himself to begin with.

I feel like I should stick to being single. Dating is far too complicated and annoying.

Fizzled chat

I think that my recent chat with a potential dating interest has fizzled. I'm oddly not upset by it.

On Friday, he said that I am always busy with work. I pointed out that it could be a potential problem. He took an early retirement. Already, his remark made me feel guilty for not being available for him.

I need to work. There are bills to pay. I am not at the stage for early retirement. Deal with it.

He apologized. I text him while I break at work. It doesn't seem like it's enough.

We have not chatted since I sent him messages on Saturday morning. He has seen my messages. He never responded to any of them.

It's better that we stop now, rather than getting serious and realizing that our career phases are out of sync.

Aging Mac mini

My Mac mini is acting up again. I haven't been able to boot it up for a couple of days. It is a decade old.

Luckily, I have a MacBook Air that still works. Frankly, both device are getting up there in years. I just don't feel like shelling out money to replace the Mac mini. My MacBook Air functions just fine that I still think it has a few years of good use.

I'll probably spend the the weekend troubleshooting. Right now, I need sleep.

Dating and chatting online

I have been chatting online with a man who took the first step to communicate with me. It has been good on the whole. He is one of a handful of folks who saw my profile picture change. Social media is interesting.

The downside? It would be a long-distance relationship with this man. He lives in the States. I'm here in Canada. I'm not sure if I am ready to go through that again. My ex-hubby and I had spent three years living apart before we got married. It does work, but it requires effort, hard work, and communication.

This man seems nice and grounded. We are in chatting mode these days. Our schedules don't sync that well, but we do manage to exchange messages throughout the day.

It's different. It's weird being back into the dating scene. I kind of miss verbally talking to people, though!

Profile photo change and its aftermath

I recently changed my profile photo on a social site. I don't make this change often.

I have been getting a number of nice messages from men. They like my smile. They say that I'm beautiful. They want to talk to me.

It's flattering. It sounds like I made the photo change on a dating site, but that's not the case. We'll see what happens.

Missing detail from my previous post

Just a follow-up post.

I appreciate the comments that have come in. I do need to mention a detail that makes sense to those who have been following along for a while.

My ex-guy and I work for the same company. That's how we met -- at work.

He sent me his e-mail using his work account to my work account. Simply blocking him can be done, but it's unprofessional. Our departments work together now and again.

The consensus is to ignore his e-mail. It reinforces what I have been doing for months, which is reassuring.

Thanks to all who provided helpful, meaningful feedback.

My ex-guy wrote to my work e-mail account - respond or ignore

It has been over two weeks since I checked my work e-mail. I returned to work on Monday and had 100 e-mail messages waiting for me in my inbox.

Oh, joy.

One of them was from my ex-guy. He sent me a message using my work account. How charming.

He wished me a happy, prosperous new year. It seems like a slap in the face considering that he ruined 2019 for me.

Question for you:

I have not responded to his e-mails that he sent to my personal account seven months ago. I am guessing that it is the reason why he has chosen to drop me a line through my work account. Should I respond? Continue to ignore him? Respond with a YouTube music video that explains how much of a jerk he is?

I would like to know what your thoughts are. I could use a different, helpful perspective.

Back to the grind

My vacation is officially over. I head back to work in a few hours.

It's snowing right now. It's pretty and serene.

Home and relaxed

Home. It's good to be home.

As much as I have enjoyed being on vacation, visiting old and new spots, and catching up with a good friend, it always feels good to be back home.

Last night, I had a smooth trip home. The car rental return was fine. I had a decent seat on the plane that was roomy, and I didn't have to speak with border security to have my luggage searched. I even got into a taxi immediately to fetch by car at my workplace.

I'm spending today unpacking, doing laundry, and taking it easy before I had back to work tomorrow.

Packing more than I had expected

My vacation is coming to an end. Later on today, I fly back home.

I have bought more items than I had anticipated. I have spent the last hour packing. I have two stuffed plush Peanuts characters. I think that they should fit in my luggage, but they are so oddly shaped that I'll have to scrunch them in. Otherwise, they may need to be  in my rolling computer bag.

Luckily, I don't fly out until late in the afternoon, so I should be able to sort these details out by then.

Cheeky, handsy photo

I do like this photo of Ansel Elgort with his girlfriend, Violetta Komyshan.

I like his hand placement. It turns me on, even though I am not a huge fan of thongs, especially wearing them.

Travel plans with a good friend while catching up

The other day, I met up with a good friend whom I haven't seen in a decade. We had a good lunch and caught up.

She let me know that once she's retired, she'd like to travel with me. She's ten years older than I am. We have been on vacation together and it feels like one with her. We like the same things. We don't have a cross word to say to each other. We like rooming together. It's good.

I let her know that I'd be around when she's ready. She smiled, which is a silent approval from her.

Even though we don't talk often, it hasn't affected our friendship. It's intact. It still goes on after nearly two decades. It's great.

Happy 2020!

Happy new year! Here's hoping that 2020 will be healthy, joyous, and wondrous for you.

Thanks for your support, especially in 2019 when things were rough for me. It means a lot!

Foot pain, freezing drizzle, snow, and mending

I had excruciating foot pain at around 3 am. It was likely from all the walking that I had done yesterday. I couldn't go back to sleep after consuming some Ibuprofen.

On top of that, there was freezing drizzle, followed by snow. I decided to reschedule my lunch meeting with my friend for Tuesday. It worked out well for her, as she had to clean up her laptop before returning it, and she needed more time. She welcomed the extra day.

I have spent my day getting rid of my foot pain in my hotel room. The pain finally subsided a few hours ago. I managed to nap a couple of times, so I am feeling much better.

It's a good thing that I am a planner. I had bought groceries last night, so I heated up food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I even have dessert! More importantly, my foot pain generally gets better when I have foods rich in potassium. I brought supplements. However, I also bought a carton of soy beverage, which has potassium. Two glasses later, my foot pain went away.

It has been quite the day. I look forward to heading out later on today. I hope that the road conditions are much better. The snow is supposed to stop soon.

Walking and winter storm advisory

I walked a lot on Sunday. It has been ages since I spent almost four hours at a mall. I did.

There is a winter storm advisory for tomorrow. Naturally, it's the day that I am meeting a friend whom I haven't seen in almost a decade. I told her that I'd let her know how things unfold. The worst case would be to reschedule for Tuesday.

It's never a dull day, even on vacation!

Reflective and relaxed

I'm stateside. All is well.

Being on vacation has made me extremely reflective. Being on a plane makes me think about my current and past friendships and relationships. Songs lyrics make me nostalgic, happy, sad, and more. It has been therapeutic.

On a good note, I am eating well and experiencing new places to eat yummy food. It has been great so far.

Ladyscaping

Manscaping has been a term that is used often to describe men trimming hair in private areas. How about ladyscaping? I haven't used it until now. I have talked about it briefly here and there, but never really knew that there was a word for it.

When I first started dating my ex-guy, he played with my rather abundant pubic hair. He said that it could use a trim, but liked it. When he broke up with my for the second time (there has been a grand total of three times), I decided to trim it short. When we got back together, he liked it and wondered why I did it.

My heart was broken. I needed a change.

Last night, I decided to do my usual pubic hair trimming. I have it down to a science. It takes little time these days. I find it therapeutic.

I see discussions online about trimming public hair into shapes, such as a triangle, or using stencils to make cute shapes. I don't see myself doing it. Never say never, though.

Travel and friendship

I am all packed. I always feel like I have forgotten to pack something, though.

I am thrilled that I get to see a friend during this trip. I haven't seen her in a decade. I felt bad that I have not in touch with her as often as I would like.

It's good that she understands me. It's nice that our friendship remains strong and intact for nearly two decades!

Boxing Day, Minnesota, and travel

It's Boxing Day. I will likely head out later on today and break my two-day hibernation.

I am leaving for the Twin Cities in a couple of days. I am looking forward to returning to Minnesota, where I called it home for a couple of years. It's nice to be on vacation.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and happy holiday to you all! I hope that you have a joyous, healthy, and wonderful day.

P.S. My butt is still sore from yesterday's self-paddling session.

Hair, bag, and a good birthday self-paddling

On Saturday, a couple of nice things happened to me.

I first went to get my hair cut. The hairdresser asked me what I wanted done. She held my hair in her hands and commented that I have nice hair. I felt good, as it has taken time and some effort to get my hair to its current state.

I then went to the grocery store and bought a few items. The woman at the cash register asked if I needed a bag. I said that I was good and took out my reusable bag from my tiny purse. She was amazed at how large and durable my bag was. She even commented that it was a pretty pink. I let her know that I had purchased it from Indigo.

Tonight, I decided to spank myself. I needed it. I started out with a hand spanking over my panties. They weren't hard spanks, but enough to arouse me.

Several months ago, I bought a beach paddle set. I hadn't used the paddle on me until tonight.

I was pretty bold in that I started using the wooden paddle across my bare butt. I started lightly swatting each buttock, ultimately building up such that I gave myself several birthday spankings. It became paddling my age on one buttock plus one to grow on, and then I switched to the other buttock. I did it again, but harder, on each butt cheek. I ended it all by giving myself my birthday swats plus one for good luck across both buttocks.

I am a bit sore, but I feel good. I'm now horny thinking about the whole fun ordeal.

Thoughts about the ex

Now that I am on vacation and the craziness has died down, thoughts about my ex-guy pop into my head. I hope to find a nice man in the near future. However, it still doesn't sit well how the ex ended our relationship.

It's natural for me to try and figure out what I did wrong. Frankly, I still think that he changed and simply wanted to do his own thing. I have accepted it. I just didn't like his spending months treating me like dirt by not communicating with me. His decision made 2019 not my best year. Yet, I have managed to get by.

I wish that I could shut down these random thoughts when things aren't busy in my life. I need to work on it.

Exhausted, but love change

I'm exhausted. I slept in last night. I'm repeating this routine tonight.

Work has bogged me down. It's nice to finally unwind.

I got my hair cut on Saturday. Change is good.

Vacation, eyewear, and contact lenses

My vacation has begun. What have I done so far? I have ordered two new pairs of eyeglasses and two boxes of contact lenses.

Riveting stuff, right? I'm off to bed.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Good things came in threes for me

The year is winding down at work. I got a bunch of gifts on Thursday.

A project manager thanked me for my hard work recently. She got me a Belgian chocolate cake. I was feeling chilled and not the best yesterday, so I'll eat the cake when I am back to my normal self. I thanked her for the kind gesture.

A colleague got me chocolates. Yum!

Finally, my manager gave me a bunch of points towards anything at our online store. He thanked me for my efforts getting five software releases out the door within the last three weeks.

No wonder I felt under the weather yesterday. Work has just been weighing me down. Today is my last workday before I go on vacation. Yay!

Vision is good

Yesterday, I got to squeeze in my appointment with my optometrist. All went well. I have nearly 20/20 vision again. Yay!

My prescription  is relatively stable, except for my astigmatism. It's exciting to get a new pair of glasses. I haven't for the last four years.

Foot pain and sleep

I have muscle pain in my right foot now and again. It was pretty bad a few hours ago. I find that Ibuprofen works. It does take a few doses to completely get rid of the pain.

It's painful when I'm trying to drive and I feel this sharp, surging pain happening in my foot. Luckily, it has subsided. I was exhausted from the pain that, when it finally died, I took a nap for a couple of hours ago.

Here's hoping that I can sleep well tonight. Luckily, I am working from home today.

Eye appointment and sniffles

I am working from home day. I look forward to some quiet time, away from incompetent folks.

I need to schedule an eye appointment. I am due to see an optometrist. Here's hoping that I can get an appointment this week.

I'm a bit sniffly. It's not the best time to catch a cold, but I feel something coming on. Let's hope that I am wrong.

One more workweek to go before vacation

This week is my last workweek before the holidays. I am off for two weeks and I need it.

I went out on Sunday and caught up with a good friend. I'm tired. I need a weekend to recover from the weekend.

Slush equals soggy shoes and socks

Saturday was a soggy, slushy weather day. I didn't choose my shoes well. The slush got to my shoes and socks. It wasn't pleasant.

I'm out all weekend, but have made time to sleep in. It's good.

Weekend and changes in the works at work

The weekend is here. I am thrilled and exhausted from work.

I had a good talk with my manager. He wants to take the incompetent woman off my team and get another colleague to help me out. I hope that it works out. I can't take working with this incompetent woman these days and picking up the slack. She's simply an idiot.

I'm off to bed. Enjoy your weekend!

Office function - reconnecting

Yesterday, I squeezed in a holiday office function. It was fun. I ate way too much, though.

This past summer, I was in Montreal for training. I met some folks from this course who were from my office. They work on other floors. I got to say hi and chat with them. It was great. One hugged me, as we had spent many hours working as a team. The other person and I did a handful of role-playing exercises and we shook hands. I was the only woman in the course.

It is great that a course bonds folks together. I'm so glad that this function was meaningful and a well-deserved, brief break from the craziness that is work.

Craziness at work, but am hanging in there

Things at work are nuts. A software release got moved up by four days. Luckily, I have had my intern and another colleague work with me on it. We are seeing the finish line.

I normally work at home on Wednesdays. Yesterday, I went into work. It was good under the circumstances.

Tomorrow, I'm off to attend an office function. The next couple of weeks will be busy. I am looking forward to taking a break soon.

Penis pillow

Let's face it. The penis isn't exactly the most attractive body part.

Well, I stumbled across this fine penis-shaped pillow. Yes, I can see myself cuddling up to a cute, stiff penis on a cold winter's night.

I'm not sure if I'd call him jumbo Pierre, though. There's also a smaller version.

I'm back and am sleepy

I'm home after a relaxing, fun staycation. I am exhausted, though.

My room's alarm clock woke me up an hour earlier than I had anticipated. I wish that I could sleep in tonight, but I have a teleconference call at 7 am.

More about my weekend later... I need some sleep!

Packed and ready for the weekend

I'm all packed for my mini staycation. I am going to a concert tonight. I am so looking forward to the next couple of days!

Have a happy, safe weekend, everyone!

Staycation and work

I am doing a brief weekend staycation. I am packed for the most part, as I just came back from one last weekend.

There is a snowfall warning happening. I had planned to go to work to bail the incompetent woman out. We'll see if I end up working from home instead.

Yesterday, I got our major software release out the door with my intern's help. The other one naturally has issues because incompetent woman can't figure things out.

I'm off to bed soon. I'm exhausted, but happy.

Work frustrations and self-spanking videos

My team has two software releases this week. The incompetent woman can't handle one of them. My entire team has to pitch in yet again on straightforward work.

Our other major release is smooth in comparison. It amazes me how argumentative and defensive she gets. Her communication is practically nonexistent. She assigned work for my intern to do without telling me. That's not how things work.

On an interesting note, I spent some time last night watching self-spanking videos. I applaud folks who have the guts to take self-spanking videos and post them up on SpankingTube. I could never do that.

I haven't spanked myself for a while. It was nice to get horny about it last night. Perhaps this weekend will be a good start.

Predictable dentist's appointment and recognition at work

My dentist's appointment was predictable. I got x-rays done on my teeth. My teeth were cleaned. I have no cavities. Predictable is good.

On Monday, I went to an all-employee meeting at work. My manager rolled out a project that our team has been working hard on for several months. He had a slide recognizing all of us by listing our names.

For the last 1.5 months, I have been working closely with a developer to document a new way of installing software. We worked well together.

Well, his manage had a slide that listed only software developers on his team. He didn't put me on it. It didn't sit well with me.

On Tuesday, this developer sent me a recognition e-mail, which is a part of our internal program, saying nice things about working with me to get these steps documented. I appreciated it and responded back. My manager saw this recognition and also acknowledged it.

It's nice to be recognized from time to time.

Work,working from home, and balance

I am working from home today. I have a dentist's appointment in a few hours. Here's hoping that all is well.

Currently, I'm doing a bit of work. I normally don't log on at this hour. However, this work requires that my colleagues are off our authoring tool.

I like that things are quiet. I don't have any interruptions to deal with right now. It's nice.

I haven't worked from home for over a week. It feels odd. Yet, it's precious time.

Sadly, I have to go to work on Wednesday. Next week will be back to my regular work-home balance.

Weather, laundry, and closing off 2019

We had rain, freezing rain, and snow on Sunday. I hope that it will be safe for me to drive to work in a few hours. Otherwise, I'll need to work from home and dig out my laptop from my car's trunk.

I got back home yesterday and decided not to bring my laptop in with me. I had my luggage and groceries to haul home that I didn't think about my laptop at all.

I spent last night doing laundry. It's relaxing, as the machines do all the work.

It's December. I am looking forward to wrapping up this year. It hasn't been the best, but I'm doing well under the circumstances.

Late checkout, noise, and customer service

It's December. Where did this year go?

I am at home, ending my staycation. My last evening at the hotel was nice. After work, I headed to the check-in counter and asked the man there if I could do a late checkout on Saturday. He asked when. I said 2 pm. He made it 3 pm. Nice!

He asked me how my stay was. I said that it was great. The only bad thing was construction along highway 401. Drilling and construction starts between 10 pm to 11 pm, and runs overnight. I said that it's rather disruptive. The good thing is that I come equipped with earplugs, so I'm good.

He apologized and advised that hotel management has asked the construction folks to change the time. It obviously hasn't helped. This construction is building a train line underground.

What I did expected was a knock on the door an hour after I had talked to him. He personally came up to my room to deliver some snacks and drinks, to apologize for the noise. I appreciated it and thanked him.

That's great customer service. Sadly, this construction goes until 2021.

Sore left buttock, reflections of being single, and my staycation coming to an end

I did CPR exercises a couple of days ago. It required doing 30 chest compressions, followed by two breaths. I did this cycle five times. I was doing it on a mannequin.

Kneeling on the floor and doing these exercises has caused me to use muscles that I don't normally use. Oddly, my left lower buttock is achy. It's almost as if I was spanked in that area.

I still miss being spanked. It occurred to me that this Christmas will be the first without having a partner to love. To cuddle up to. To kiss.

It's perfectly okay. It isn't everything. I am thrilled that I am in good health. I am happy to be alive. I am grateful for getting this far.

Being in a hotel room allows me to relax and reflect. I like the idea of driving to work in 25 minutes. It has been great watching TV, which I don't normally do. This change has been refreshing.

Tomorrow, I check out and return home. I hope to do another staycation again soon.

Slept through the night after physical CPR activities

I slept through the night. I suppose that CPR exercises will do that.

It is strange that construction happens off the side of a highway near this hotel at midnight and continues for several hours. It has been happening since Monday night. The exception was last night. It was incredibly windy and gusty that construction work had ceased.

Here's hoping that it continues tonight. It was nice to get a break.

Despite this odd disruption, I do enjoy being at this hotel. It's incredibly comfortable and feels like home.

CPR and a cosmo

I completed two parts of a first aid and Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) course this month. I did my test today and I am certified. Yay!

I haven't done a CPR course since I was in grade 8, which seems like eons ago. I'm glad that I went through this program, despite things being rather crazy at work.

My staycation continues. To celebrate this fine milestone, I had dinner at the restaurant attached to the hotel. It makes a decent raspberry blood orange cosmo. Yum!

Robe and construction at midnight

I do love my staycation, despite still going into work daily. I like the robe and slippers that I have. I feel cozy wrapped up in a robe.

The only downside is that there was construction happening at midnight for several hours. I don't get it. Sure, it's next to a highway. Do the construction crew not realize that it's a fairly residential area and that folks perhaps want to sleep?! I slept with my earplugs on, so I was good.

Here's hoping that I don't have to sleep with earplugs in tonight.

Staycation and benefits

I am enjoying my staycation. I like going to work and having a shorter commute.

It's nice to grab some dinner and a hot chocolate after work. I head back to the hotel and relax as if I am at home.

Of course, it's helpful to have been upgraded to a suite. It's cozy and I like the bedroom being separate from the living room. I sleep a lot better without hearing folks in the hallway.

It's always great when your hotel room feels like your home away from home.

Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup!

Congrats to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. The team beat the Hamilton Ti-Cats in Canadian League Football (CFL).

The Blue Bombers have ended a 29-year drought. Yay!

Staycation and my home away from home for a week

My staycation has started. This one is longer. My thinking was that since I am in the office all this week, the drive would be easier if I stayed closer to work.

I love this hotel. It's my first time staying here. It's roughly twenty minutes away from the office by car. It's a nice change from my hour commute!

I am in a suite. I lucked out and got an upgrade. It comes with a kitchenette. I am looking forward to getting some groceries, so I can fix myself breakfast.

It feels like home. It's great so far.

Being nice can make someone day and your own

I had my ophthalmologist appointment yesterday. I am doing great. My next appointment has been extended to five months. This one was four months later.

I didn't like dealing with one staff member there who had a horrible tone in her voice, accusing me of not signing a consent form and then asking for my health insurance. She was shocked when I questioned her on how often I needed to sign said form. I don't sign things because you tell me to. I need to know why. I enjoyed giving her advice to call patients for such details before they come into the clinic. No one likes surprises. No one likes to be told, "You didn't sign the consent form." Why can't people word things well these days?

Anyway, with my eyes dilated, sitting in the waiting area, an older woman sat down across from me. Our eyes met. I was smiling. She reciprocated. I think she made my day and vice-versa.

We started talking. My name was called. I apologized and went over for yet another brief test. We ended up sitting next to each other, as there are a couple of tests that shuffle you around the waiting area.

We got to talk. It was nice. She and her daughter drove from Wasaga Beach. It's a good distance to travel down for a medical appointment. She told me that there's tons of snow up there. There isn't any snow left in Scarborough.

When it was my turn to get my eye injection, I wished both of them a good day. They reciprocated.

It's good to be nice. Pass it on!

Busy packing, going to appointments, and working

I spent some time packing for my staycation. I am pretty late with this task for my standards. I have been trying to wrap up work.

My doctor's appointment went well. I have another appointment today. I then get a bit of a break before I have a dental one in a couple of week.

Ah, the excitement... haha!

Layoffs and canned presentation

I normally work from home on Wednesdays. I changed things up due to my two medical appointments and went into work yesterday.

It was an interesting day to be in the office. The good news is that I had a massive full rack of ribs for lunch. There was a deal going on at a local restaurant. I took advantage of it.

The downside was that a snap meeting was held while my student, manager, and I were out having lunch. It's ridiculous to call a meeting fifteen minutes before it starts and during the lunch hour.

It turns out that six people were laid off in my department. It's difficult to tell whether it was due to performance or that they had been with the company for eons. They were gone. Just like that.

One person was on my team. I didn't expect him to be turfed. This person's manager was also let go.

My manager was candid with me during our regular biweekly meeting. He though that he would be the one to go. It was an odd statement. He said that I would be fine.

It's difficult to say whether I am truly safe. That being said, I do my job well. Folks know that if I leave for whatever reason, my department will suffer.

I am hoping that things get better.

In the meantime, there is great news. I was supposed to do a five-minute presentation on Monday with two other colleagues in front of our entire department. That presentation has been scrapped. Yay!

Appointments, movie, staycation, and beyond meat

It's a bit busy for me this week. I have two medical appointments. I am squeezing a movie in. I am also doing another staycation.

My staycation is a bit different, though. I am going into the office every day next week. I want to reduce the time that I am on the road and enjoy a different part of the city. Naturally, I haven't even thought about packing. I leave on Saturday, so I have time.

I have had beyond meat crumbles twice in my meals. The first time was in soup. The second time was on a salad. I liked them.

The downside is that it doesn't really agree with my stomach. I need to figure out what exactly is in  beyond meat when it comes to vitamins.

Bloodwork, fasting, food, and work

In a few hours, I go in for some bloodwork at the the lab. I am in fasting mode.

I'm not sure why I decided to spend half an hour looking at eateries where I want to have breakfast. It's not helping me right now! I'm just sitting here, salivating over my upcoming meal.

This week is odd. Yesterday, I was at the office. Today, I'm working from home. Wednesday, I'm back at the office. I work from home on Thursday and Friday.

I'm pleased that I get to take a break from my long daily commute. Next week, I'm at the office for the entire week, so my commute balances out in the long run.

Great weekend and job application

I've had a great weekend. On Sunday, I hung out with three friends over dinner. It was great catching up with everyone. I rarely go out on Sundays.

I worked on my resume and applied for a part-time teaching job. Here's hoping that I am considered.

The weekend is over. Bummer.

Back to a lower carb regimen

I have been reducing my carb and sugar intake these days. It's not exactly a surprise that when I reduce my carb and sugar consumption, I have more energy.

I started doing this reduction last week. I don't think that I have taken a nap all week. It's impressive.

When the weather is colder, I tend to enjoy carbs. I plan on eating carbs in moderation.

I'd like to get back into eating salads at lunch time. I took the first step and got back into buying baby spinach.

Staycation, takeout, and sleeping in

This weekend, I am doing a bit of a staycation. It's nice that I have been grabbing takeout for dinner and having it back at my hotel room.

I enjoy watching TV while eating dinner. I typically don't have that luxury these days. Work has been busy as of late. It's nice that I can unwind.

I'm thankful that the weekend is here. I was sleeping so soundly last night that getting up was tough.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

My heart's healing well!

My ex-guy's car has been parked at our workplace's parking lot for a month. When he first parked his car there after we had broken up, a ton of emotions came flooding in. Sad. Heartbroken. Angry. Hurt. Probably more.

I worked from home Monday through Wednesday this week. I returned to work yesterday and his car was no longer there.

I felt okay. That's a good sign.

I'm still healing, but I'm making decent progress.

Snow tires and annoying people

On Wednesday, I got my winter tires installed on my car. It was an odd day.

I didn't get my usual service advisor. He was there. There were tons of customers, likely all getting winter tires installed.

I got a new advisor. I didn't like how he insisted that I was wrong. Well, I had to ask him to look up my records. If you don't believe me, check the facts that you have in your database.

This theme carried on to my incompetent colleague, who accused me of telling another colleague something incorrect. She wasn't even in my conversation. I had a text conversation with her other team lead. I copied and pasted it. I had proof.

I then told her to have facts before making ridiculous, nonsensical statements. She said that she was "merely asking a question." A question doesn't go into false accusations.

She's an idiot. Sadly, I have to put up with her.

Skidding on black ice is scary

On Tuesday, I worked from home for a second day. I had to go out and run a couple of errands, including the grocery store.

Coming home, I saw two accidents. What was scary was that I was driving along black ice and thought that I would end up hitting the car in front of me. It was scary. I stopped in time, thankfully.

Later on today, I am getting my winter tires installed on my car. I have had this appointment for a week. I'll feel at ease once my winter tires are on my vehicle.

Trying a conference number out and removing a favourite from my phone contacts

On Monday, I was testing out calling my company's teleconference phone number. It's interesting that it only accepts phone numbers that aren't blocked. I decided to test blocking my number and the call disconnected immediately. Interesting!

I normally do conference calls through wifi. However, when I am working from home, the network connection isn't great. I have a meeting later on today, so I tried doing something different.

I don't call folks all that often. I opened my phone app and noticed that my ex-guy is still flagged as a favourite. I wasn't expecting to tear up, but I did. Tearing up was needed.

I loved him. It's sad that he ended our relationship.

After briefly tearing up, I removed him as a favourite. It was difficult. I did it, though. It's another small step towards healing.

Snow storm

We are expecting between ten to fifteen centimetres of snow today. It's starting to fall as I type.

I will likely work from home today. The hassle of driving into work under such conditions isn't worth the risk. I am also getting my snow tires on this Wednesday.

Snow in November doesn't happen often. It can and it is!

A controlling since of my manager

I have a love-hate relationship with my boss. When he is in a good mood, he's fine. He is also a control freak. Sometimes, he comes across as being annoying.

My small team tends to go out for lunch on Fridays. As of late, he seems to want to join in. I don't mind. However, I tend to be the only one driving. He has a two-seater car. Ugh.

Recently, he said that he has driven 5,000 km in his car since May. I said that I'm at 6,000 km and I've had my new car since August. I said that I drive to work. He said the same thing. What he doesn't seem to remember is that I live farther from the office than he does. It's 50 km one-way for me.

On Friday, he wanted to do Korean food. That's fine. I haven't had Korean in a while. Naturally, I was driving. He first said that I hope that I knew where I was going. I said that I need passengers to keep their eyes open for a place that all of us haven't been to. I have two GPS apps on my phone.

While driving, my air pressure light went on. He heard it and questioned it. I said that it will go away, as it has been cold, and has turned off for the past two days. He basically said, "No, you don't understand," and went into a whole lecture about what to do. I was annoyed.

He then questioned the route that I was using.

"Google maps says to go down the street that we were on," he said.
"I'm' not on Google maps. We are going this way," I replied.

I can see why I don't like backseat drivers. The last time I experienced this situation was with my friend's ex-boyfriend years. In that case, I actually knew where I was going. Just chill.

The Korean restaurant was good. Unfortunately, he chose a fairly expensive restaurant. I felt bad for our intern for shelling out that much money for lunch.

Part of me wants to ban our manager from these lunches. I don't have to deal with such weird control issues. He doesn't know when to simply shut up and go with the flow.

My Fitbit Versa Lite is here!

I got my new Fitbit Versa Lite, which is replacing my Fitbit Alta. The latter can't hold a charge. For the past two days, it died while I drove home from work. Not good!

I do love my Versa Lite so far. It was easy to set up. Like my old Pebble watch, this Fitbit watch allows me to customize the watch face.

I'm getting used to the heart rate monitor. I'm off to bed soon, so I'll see how it monitors my sleep.

Never-ending comments

I get tired of colleagues who have tons of comments and cannot commit to saying that a document is good to go. It is why this document has never been released to the world for a good year.

The odd thing is that this one colleague owns the document, but required two people to write the content. I am there to edit the content, along with my intern.

He "expected" that my team would use a template for this work. I said that my team has never owned these documents. As a result, there isn't a template.

I don't know why my manager committed to editing this document. It is marketing material, something that our entire team does not have the expertise to do.

One more day of work to go... thank goodness!

Thoughts about being heartbroken

Part of me wishes that I could have a good cry over my breakup. I have yet to do it. I can barely shed a tear.

It has been an odd breakup. My heart is broken, but there is a strength that prevents me from going down any road of dispair.

I still think of him often. When I see a couple holding hands as they are walking somewhere, it reminds me of holding my ex-guy's hand. We were happy. It felt good.

I miss that feeling. I know it'll happen again with the right person. It's just not the right time to start a romantic relationship. I need to focus on me.

And, that's perfectly okay. For me, it feels right to go at my own pace.

Mac mini update and new iPod touch

I cringe whenever my old Mac mini has a software update. The update is happening right now. Either it goes smoothly or I lose two days trying to get it to boot up.

I'm not ready to get a new one. I have a MacBook Air that is getting on in years, but works a lot faster than my MacBook Air. I don't need to shell out for a new one. They aren't cheap!

I went ahead and got myself an iPod touch. I have been doing so well with paying off my debt this year. I thought that it would be a nice gift for me that I know will last for years. I need a bit of joy.

I'm writing this post on my phone. The software update is expected to take another forty minutes. Here's hoping that all goes well.

Life has its ups and downs

Life works in mysterious, wonderful ways. With sadness comes a silver lining.

I found out yesterday that my junior kindergarten teacher had passed away recently. She was musical. I remember singing in her class all the time and I loved it. It's likely one reason why I love music.

I posted her obituary on a social medium platform. A friend of mine revealed that we were likely in the same junior kindergarten class, but didn't know it. It's crazy to think that we have known each other since we were four years old! We forged a friendship in high school She switched elementary schools. Yet, we still have memories of truly knowing each other as four-year-old kids, but didn't make the connection until now.

Perhaps it's just a sign that our teacher's passing has sparked a new perspective on our friendship. Pretty cool!

Ending my weekend with an upset stomach and looking ahead

The weekend has come and gone. I like how relaxing this weekend has been.

Unfortunately, I must have eaten some food that was off. My stomach was upset a couple of hours ago. All seems well now. It's not the end of my weekend that I was expecting!

It's crazy that it is November. This year has flown by. It hasn't been the greatest for me. I am optimistic that things will improve in my life, though.

Groping and kissing on your wedding day - nice!

I like Henry Golding. He was the leading man in Crazy Rich Asians. I learned last week that there is a sequel.

I saw this lovely photo of his wedding day on his wife's Instagram. I love that both his wife-to-be and him had a nice groping kiss.

This photo makes me so happy!

Dinner with a friend and tons of laughter

On Friday night, I had dinner with a friend who used to be my intern. I hadn't seen her since April.

It was fun reminiscing, catching up, and just having a good time with great company. We laughed a lot, to the point where our tummies were aching by the end of the evening.

I haven't laughed that much in ages. It was much needed. I still have my sad moments about being heartbroken. However, I am simply fortunate to have friends who care about me.

My Mac mini is back

Last night, I unplugged the power cable on my Mac mini. After nearly a day, I plugged it back in and started my Mac mini up. All is well.

It's odd having such an old computer. I really should consider getting a new one. The thing is that I'm not in any rush.

I'm be back to regular posts soon. I'm off to bed!

Mac mini woes

My Mac mini is acting up again. I can't get to boot up. Ugh!

I suppose that it's a sign. My Mac mini is a decade old. Perhaps it's time to retire it.

Surgery eight years later

Eight years ago yesterday, I had back surgery. I can't forget the date or how I felt that morning before heading to the hospital. Everything happened so fast.

I recently reflected about my surgery with my dear friend. She had had surgery and I was visiting her at the hospital. I haven't really talked about my surgery with friends. The experience is still pretty fresh in my head.

I am thankful for having the surgery. I have lived a pretty normal life ever since. I have lived my life as best I can.

My friend was discharged from hospital on Tuesday. She is resting and mending at home now. I'm so glad that she is doing so well.

Leather belts used on a bad girl

After work on Monday, I went grocery shopping at a cool discount store. It sells clothes, shoes, housewares, and more. The quality is decent for what you pay. I was there to get celery.

I walked into the store and saw an assortment of leather belts. It has been a while, but I was turned on just looking at them.

I have fantasized about having my hands tied with a leather belt. Another belt would be used to strap my bare backside.

I'm glad that I can think about it and get excited. I don't think I'd like to actually go through it in real life, even with a trusted partner. I enjoy thinking about it.

My friend is recovering well after surgery

My friend had surgery on her bowel. It got twisted, which caused her abdominal and back pain. She lives roughly two hours away from me.

I went to see her on Saturday. She is healing nicely. She was understandably tired, but in good spirits.

I have known her since we were both twelve years old. She is roughly two weeks older than I am.

Both of us never thought that we'd have surgery. I had back surgery eight years ago, almost to the day. I think she felt better when we talked about and shared our surgery experiences.

I gave her a card and a gift card. I wrote how much I appreciated her. I said that our friendship meant even more now.

She thanked me several times for coming. It was the least that I could do. The drive wasn't anything. I was thankful that I could brighten her day as she continues to recovery.

It was good seeing her. I hope to check up on her again soon.

Quick update

My friend is healing nicely after her surgery. I was hoping to write about everything, but I'm tired and there is a lot to process.

I am thrilled that she's okay.

Visiting and thinking about my friend who is in hospital

A dear friend texted me the other day to say that she was in the hospital. She let me know yesterday that she had had surgery.

Later on today, I will be heading over to visit her. The drive is just under 1.5 hours for me. I asked if she wanted visitors. I'm so glad that she said yes!

I just finished writing a get-well-soon message for her. I filled out an entire greeting card and will bring it with me. I want to get her a gift card, too. I'm keeping things lightweight.

Troubleshooting is my forte

I have been using an app on my phone to upload photos and write about my experiences for a while. Earlier this week, I upgraded the app to the latest version. It caused the upload photos feature to die.

I used to work in technical support. I was good at it. I ended up in second-level support. I'm not bragging. I look back at who I was back then and I was great.

These days, I often do troubleshooting at work. I am good at it, too. I am proud that I have this knack.

I reported this app issue to the software company. The woman insisted that I use the e-mail address associated with my account with this app. I had to explain that my messages get forward to my current account and provided my actual e-mail address on file. It is never a requirement to log into the account and write from it, although it is helpful. Just ask me for the e-mail address that I have registered with would have been sufficient.

The woman asked for screenshots and steps on what was going on. I write for a living, so that was easy for me to put together. I also pointed out that I have a Google Pixel 2XL phone running Android 10.

As expected, support couldn't reproduce this issue. It went to the engineering department.

I fixed the issue by myself a couple of hours ago. I could strengthen this support department if they offered a job to me.

I basically removed the faulty app. I went and downloaded an old app version that was released in March. I then installed it.

I proceeded to upgrade the app to the current version. The upload photo functionality works again. Go, me!

I wrote back to support and said that I fixed the issue myself. I didn't bother thanking the woman, as I did all the work. I did end the message cordially, though.

Thank goodness I enjoy solving issues. Otherwise, this app would be useless on my phone without this functionality restore.

Depleted battery on my Fitbit Alta leads to a new Versa Lite

I have had my Fitbit Alta for nearly three years. While in the Twin Cities, it died on me. It had a full charge the night before.

I worked with support. Sure enough, after a full charge, without any notifications or fancy, draining functionality, the battery depletes roughly 1.75 days later. It's supposed to last at least four days on a full charge.

Unfortunately, my Alta is no longer covered by the limited warranty. However, I do get a discount on my next device. It's a nice way to keep me as a customer.

I will get the Versa Lite and see how it goes. I get 40% off its regular price. Not too shabby!

Seeing myself in my friend's conversation

I have been sitting here, trying to figure out what I want to write. It's not that I haven't got a topic. On the contrary, there's a lot going on in my head that I really don't where to start.

Work is busy. I noticed the other day that my friend had to interact with our incompetent colleague. I could swap my friend out for me, and it's the same song and dance.

At one point, my friend said to her, "Don't twist my words." I have said something similar to her on multiple occasions. I apparently told her to do something when that never happened. She is delusional.

I look forward to the day when I do not have to interact with her. I don't enjoy talking to her. I don't like hearing her talk. Her thoughts are jumbled and incoherent. I don't even like to say goodnight to her when I leave work. It's that bad.

My friend spent some time venting to me on Monday. It's mutual that we vent and listen.

Election results - Canada voted!

Monday was election day. We voted our Prime Minister back. However, he leads a minority government this time around.

I had voted at the advance poll before heading to the Twin Cities. It's important to vote.

I like watching election results come in. It explains why I am writing this post so late on a weeknight.

I'm off to bed!

Fortune about only the wisest and stupidest people never changing

On Saturday, I went to a Chinese restaurant for a late lunch. At the end of the meal, I got a fortune cookie.

Here was my fortune:

I don't think that it's just men. My incompetent colleague fits this scenario, for instance.

Perhaps it can also be applied to my ex-guy. He has broken up with me three times. I should have known that he had issues and wasn't going to change the first time he broke up with me.

Of course, it's easier to look back and observe. This fortune was interesting that way. It's all about perspective and interpretation.

Rita Ora and her butt

I like Rita Ora. I first heard about her when she was in Fifty Shades of Grey. I like her music. She seems like a fun, optimistic person.

She recently posted this pic on her Instagram account.

She has a perky butt.

It would be interesting if we all wore such an outfit daily -- guys and gals.

The weekend - the possibilities!

The weekend is here! I have a good problem. I don't have an agenda. I simply have a number of places that I'd like to visit.

I have my usual errands to run. I need Diet Coke. I'm out of cream cheese.

I also have some Groupons to use up. I like exploring new places.

It's nice to have a weekend where I have a ton of flexibility. It's also nice to unwind. Shorter work weeks tend to wear me out faster.

Rest and hobbies

I took Thursday off. I was chilled and tired. I slept. It was all good.

These days, I have been resurrecting my love for sewing. I find it relaxing and a nice way to unwind. I hope to get around to learning how to crochet.

It's nice doing quiet hobbies, especially when the weather is getting colder.

I'm going to break your heart

Last week, on the plane going to Minneapolis, I watched a documentary called I'm Going to Break Your Heart. The documentary spotlights the relationship between Chantal Kreviazuk and Raine Maida, who have successful music careers and have been married for over twenty years.

They relationship has bumps. They are seen going to counselling. They work at their relationship, as head as it can get.

They wrote many songs together during this documentary. One of them was the title of this documentary. I lost it. I was crying on the plane.

My ex-guy broke my heart -- three times too many. We never went to counselling. Part of me wishes that we did, but he abruptly ended our relationship.

There are nights where I think of him. One part of me misses the good, fun parts of our relationship. I know that it isn't healthy to want to try it again. I do not want to be hurt by him again. I want better.

I continue to heal. It's not an easy journey. I get by one day at a time.

Back home with a luggage search at border security

I got back on Monday night. I was too exhausted to post anything.

My arrival at the airport was odd. First, I was asked to go to a customs/border security line after declaring that I had only brought back $90 worth of goods. The customs woman was pleasant, going through my luggage and rolling computer bag. I had nothing to hide. All went well.

My guess is that it was the long Thanksgiving weekend. Perhaps it seemed odd that I wouldn't splurge while in the States. I truly didn't go to shop. I was there for a hockey game.

Within the last year, I have been asked to go over to this special lineup twice. I'm not sure what makes folks think that I need additional questioning. I just know that I am honest and everything checks out fine. Perhaps I should have a flag in my record that I'm good!

There's more to this story regarding getting a taxi. I'll save that for another post.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am a few hours away from flying home. It has been a great weekend in the Twin Cities. I walked too much, though. My legs are feeling it. They were pretty achy yesterday, but some rest has helped.

It hasn't been the best year for me. However, I am thankful for being healthy, and having you with me as I mend a broken heart and get through life. Thanks for all your support. It means the world to me.

Thanksgiving long weekend and voting

Tonight, I am staying at a hotel closer to the airport. It's fun. It also saves me time in the morning getting to the airport. I don't need to do an hour-long commute.

I voted at the advance poll on Friday after work. I won't be able to vote on a Saturday like I typically do. I also don't like voting on voting day. It takes me forever to get back home and it is whenever everyone is scrambling to make their voice heard. I'd rather do it early.

I like voting. I have a say. It makes me feel good after the fact.

This weekend is the Thanksgiving long weekend in Canada. Yes, I'm heading stateside, but it's worth it.

Work annoyances, including explaining processes to clueless people

My manager made a statement yesterday that I agree with when it comes to folks at work. Those who have to make a decision do not understand all aspects of the issue, including technicalities. Because they don't, there are so many problems that surface.

I have a project manager who does not know what she is doing. She immediately panics whenever I have a clear explanation for her in an e-mail and needs to talk to me. I work from home on Wednesdays. She called a meeting five minutes before its start, which I did not care for. I like to given more time than that.

I managed to cancel a second meeting that she had called. I just wanted an update and said that I am swamped with five conference calls in the afternoon. I am on the receiving end on deliverables. Why hold the meeting with me? It's the folks that are late with the deliverable who should be in a meeting with you. I spend far too much time in meetings and it's mainly because the other person doesn't get it. She said that she'd write meeting minutes. Nope, it didn't happen. I went ahead and did it for my own sanity.

The most enjoyable new feature in our instant messaging application is that I can hide my status from people who are not added to my list of contacts. This feature has significantly reduced the number of folks who contact me. I dislike instant messaging at work. I'd sooner do e-mail. If I don't reply in a minute, people come directly to my desk. I dislike this panicky mentality that folks have, including my incompetent colleague.

Two more days of work before the long weekend. I can't wait.

Packing and restoring my iPod classic

I am packing light for my trip. I am away for three days and I am in the Twin Cities for two of them. I am technically done. I'll I need are snacks.

As of late, I want to return to simpler times. I spent some time last night restoring music on my iPod classic. Yep, folks say that it looks like a brick. However, it holds my entire digital music collection.

I like it because I don't need to stream my music. I don't have the option to check my e-mail or do searches online. I am removed from plenty of distractions.

The fact that it is probably over a decade old and still works well is nice. I am contemplating getting the newest iPod touch. It would be a distraction, as it has bluebooth, wifi, and messaging capabilities.

I'll stick with my iPod classic for now.

Reminders of a severed relationship and looking forward to travel

My ex-guy's car is parked at work again. This time around, seeing his car doesn't hurt as much.

He broke my heart. I find it difficult to have him in my life. It is far easier to sever ties with him. It is too painful to relive being happy in our relationship and having the plug pulled on a Monday -- likely the worst day of the week to break up. Then again, any day to select as a break-up day isn't great.

I have a few days before I fly off to the Twin Cities. I am excited to be back after nine years. It'll do me some good.

Sewing, and wanting to learn how to knit and crochet

On Sunday, I spent part of my day sewing. I had a few articles of clothing that needed some attention.

I enjoy hand-sewing or using my sewing machine. I find it relaxing.

For years, I have wanted to learn how to knit and crochet. Years ago, I managed to knit a scarf. I simply couldn't bind off, though. I hope to resurrect these projects. I have a feeling that I'll find it relaxing once I get the hang of these techniques.

Heartbreak advice from Dax Shepard

I was listening to an episode of the Ellen on the Go podcast. Dax Shepard was on the show for a segment called Dr. Dax. It's where audience members ask him advice.

He offers funny and sensible answers. There was a woman who had just been dumped and asked how she should handle heartbreak.

He first joked and said that she should sleep with every female friend of his. The more serious answer was to say, "It is only temporary," as a mantra.

It's similar to how I am approaching my broken heart,. It is temporary. Time will help and heal.

Missing being spanked and being a bad girl

I miss being called a bad girl. I miss being spanked.

I haven't indulged in self-spanking for a while. Perhaps this weekend would be good to resurrect it.

Nearly sideswiped by a woman who did not check her blindspot

One of my biggest fears is driving next to someone who does not check her blindspot. It happened to me last night.

I was driving home and a car moved into my lane, almost hitting me. I moved into the middle turn lane and honked at her for a long time. My car has a decent whiny, annoyed tone that she finally moved over. It was scary. It made me angry.

I finally got to take a look at the person as I managed to pass her several minutes later. She was an older woman with silver hair. She looked embarrassed and didn't look at me.

I do wish that folks would take the time to do a shoulder check. It can save lives. It can also make them better drivers.

When I got my car, one of the features that I wanted was as much of a clear view around me while driving. I didn't get that when I tested the C-HR. I love that I do with my Corolla hatchback.

I am a bit rattled, but I'll be okay.

Hacked account on POF

I signed up for a Plenty of Fish (POF) account. I wanted to check out how the dating scene works again.

Well, my account got hacked last night. The person changed my profile photos. I became a black woman with a height of 5'5". In reality, I am Asian and am five inches taller than that.

I noticed a number of POF notification e-mails coming in about men being interested in me. I didn't get it. It wasn't until I signed into my POF account where I found out that some, but not all, of my answers in my profile were changed.

This person cannot write for beans. It is likely why my profile description remained the way that it was. This person was likely trying to get credit card information. I have a free account, thankfully.

I actually saw conversations between the fraudster and other men happen right before me. I changed my password immediately. It took a while for the other person to be kicked off the system.

To be certain that this person wouldn't be able to hack into my account, I changed my password again a few hours later. The crazy thing is that my original password seemed pretty secure. Obviously, it wasn't.

I will wait a couple of days before logging back in. The notifications have since ceased. After this experience, I'm not sure if I truly want to go back on this dating app.

Purchasing a jacket that I thought I didn't need, but actually do

The other night, I realized that I had some GAPcash left. It means that if I spend $50 at either a regular GAP store or its outlet, I can get $20 off. That's not bad at all.

My problem? As much as I love this store, I don't exactly need anything. Well, that's what I thought.

I drove over there after work on Monday. There was a lightweight puffy jacket that was 50% off. I actually needed one. I have had mine for five years and it was falling apart. Some of the stuffing (yes, the fluff inside the jacket) was coming out of the sleeves and sides. I didn't get rid of it last year because it is perfect for me. I got a replacement jacket and it is too warm when it's not nippy outside. It works better when it's the middle of winter and it's truly cold.

Anyway, I tried this jacket on and I liked it. I got it. I'm so happy.

I had another GAPcash coupon left. I knew that I wasn't going to use it, as it was the last day that it was valid. Instead, I gave it to an older female shopper who asked how much a coat was. The cashier who had helped me out said that it was $55. She could get it for $35 with the coupon.

It's nice to pay it forward and make someone's day.

Working from home again and taking a break from the incompetent woman

I am back to my regular schedule this week. I am working from home today and tomorrow.

It has been a grind going to work every day for over three weeks. I don't mind hanging out with colleagues that I like, including my student. It is dealing with the sheer ridiculousness spewing out of my incompetent colleague that puts a damper on things.

She has this tone in her voice when she gets excited. She sounds like she is constipated and I cringe every time I hear her. She did that taking a phone call at her desk, which isn't exactly professional. We all sit in an open area and can hear her while we are working.

It'll be nice to take a break from her. Everything that she does seems odd.