It's my birthday!

It's my birthday. My second pandemic birthday.

I love the person that I have become. I continue to shape who I am as I navigate through life.

Here's to more years ahead.

Theory about a mysterious gift last Christmas

Just before Christmas, I received a book from an anonymous person. I saw the Amazon Prime sticker on the box and thought that it was something that I had ordered that had arrived. I ripped the box open and still don't know who sent me this book.

I have been thinking that it may have been the ex-guy. He has an Amazon Prime membership. He obviously knows where I live. I haven't communicated with him since I told him to stop contacting me last July. He has never mentioned anything about this book. He likely got confirmation that the shipment was delivered and was satisfied with that information.

The book? It's The Longevity Paradox by Steven R. Gundry. It's essentially a book about how to live a long, healthy, happy life.

Perhaps the ex felt guilty that he broke my heart and ruined a part of my life that this book would help me. Maybe he truly wants me to live a longer, happier life.

Anyway, I haven't read much from it. I suppose that I should and see if I do grow old, happy, and healthy.

More thoughts from my friend's funeral

My friend organized her entire funeral. We are similar in that we are natural planners. She wasn't a control freak. She simply wanted to take care of it without burdening others. It was just who she was.

She made sure that everyone had a bagged lunch after the service. It made me smile. It was so her.

She left a voice message to all of us. She said that we were her miracle. Her daughter let out a sob. I lost it there as tears trickled down my face. It felt good hearing her voice.

She chose the music that was played. I have the list, which is now a part of my playlist and will always remind me of her.

At the end, Amazing Grace was played. The Mayo Clinic managed to record her heartbeat. Her heartbeat was then used as the beat for the song, which had guitar as the melody. It was unique and I felt connected to her -- as if she were saying to everyone that they would be okay.

I managed to grieve at her streamed funeral. I felt a lot better today. It was a lovely service celebrating her life. She somehow managed to reassure us that things were going to be okay. I am healing one day at a time.

Grieving and celebrating my friend's life

On Saturday, I attended my friend's funeral online. It was my first experience attending a virtual funeral. I am grateful that the funeral home offered this service.

It allowed me to attend when the Canada-US border continues to be closed due to COVID-19. It's also nice for those who can't travel or want to stay safe to attend remotely.

It was a beautiful celebration of my friend and her life. There were many parts of the service that made me smile. Essentially, my friend organized her own funeral and made sure that we were all taken care of. She was always that way, including right up to her death.

I may write more about what was said and share in another post. Right now, I am simply reflecting and appreciate her even more.

I didn't write the previous day. On Friday night, I decided to grieve in my own way. I played music that she loved. It brought back fond memories of both of us attending these performances live and enjoying these songs together.

Leukemia

I learned on Tuesday that my good friend, whom I last saw in Minnesota back in March, has leukemia.

I knew that she was going through something. She went in for a medical appointment after we had had lunch together. I wasn't expecting cancer.

She is currently getting chemotherapy and is on a pill. This treatment combination has a pretty high success rate, which is helpful and reassuring. 

She will need a bone marrow transplant once her cancer is in remission.

It's scary. I have known her for twenty years. I can't visit her, but I am definitely there for her when she has the need to talk and whatever support that I can provide to ease her mind.

I am thankful that she's getting treatment. I can only hope that she gets through this first hurdle of many.

Life has its ups and downs

Life works in mysterious, wonderful ways. With sadness comes a silver lining.

I found out yesterday that my junior kindergarten teacher had passed away recently. She was musical. I remember singing in her class all the time and I loved it. It's likely one reason why I love music.

I posted her obituary on a social medium platform. A friend of mine revealed that we were likely in the same junior kindergarten class, but didn't know it. It's crazy to think that we have known each other since we were four years old! We forged a friendship in high school She switched elementary schools. Yet, we still have memories of truly knowing each other as four-year-old kids, but didn't make the connection until now.

Perhaps it's just a sign that our teacher's passing has sparked a new perspective on our friendship. Pretty cool!

Surgery eight years later

Eight years ago yesterday, I had back surgery. I can't forget the date or how I felt that morning before heading to the hospital. Everything happened so fast.

I recently reflected about my surgery with my dear friend. She had had surgery and I was visiting her at the hospital. I haven't really talked about my surgery with friends. The experience is still pretty fresh in my head.

I am thankful for having the surgery. I have lived a pretty normal life ever since. I have lived my life as best I can.

My friend was discharged from hospital on Tuesday. She is resting and mending at home now. I'm so glad that she is doing so well.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am a few hours away from flying home. It has been a great weekend in the Twin Cities. I walked too much, though. My legs are feeling it. They were pretty achy yesterday, but some rest has helped.

It hasn't been the best year for me. However, I am thankful for being healthy, and having you with me as I mend a broken heart and get through life. Thanks for all your support. It means the world to me.

Hormones and stress factors

Hormones continue to fascinate me. For years, my menstrual cycle was completely abnormal. I could go a year without getting my period.

It wasn't until I lost sixty pounds that my menstrual cycle became monthly. These days, it's almost predictable to the day, except when there are stress factors.

In the past, if I were doing a major trip where there was a whole lot of last-minute planning, I would miss my period for that month.

Recently, I lost the incompetent colleague and knew about it a day before it happened. I feel that this event caused my period to be delayed.

My two students had their final workday on Friday. It wasn't until Saturday morning when my period came, a week after it should have.

Hormones are sensitive. I don't fully understand how they work, but they fascinate me and I need to live with them.

Decluttering and discovering old photos

I have been doing a ton of decluttering these days. While on vacation, I didn't really feel like doing it until just before I went back to work. I am pretty motivated these days that it's surprising me!

I'm not sure why I held on to so much stuff over the years. I found a couple of photos of my ex-husband. It was early in our relationship. He looked happy.

I had no hesitation getting rid of his photos. I kept everything else. I ended up putting these photos in an album.

For years, I held on to my undergraduate textbooks in two domains that I don't use all that much these days. As much as I love math, I have decided to let my textbooks go. I can always look up information and questions online should I need to.

I donated my books on Wednesday. I recycled an old cell phone. I also donated clothes that I no longer love, but hope that others will.

It feels good to declutter.

Bounced car insurance payment and a $50 bill in the parking lot

Life works in mysterious ways.

My chequing account was short $6. My car insurance payment was supposed to automatically come out of that account. However, since there were insufficient funds, I ended up getting slapped with a $40 charge. It hurts, but I'm okay about it.

After a long day at work on Thursday, I walked out of the office and to my car. I was on hold with my car insurance company. Someone had called me, likely to follow up on my payment.

I was looking down at my phone, to make sure that the call was still ongoing. In the underground parking lot, I saw a $50 bill on the ground. I picked it up.

It's funny how things unfold in my life.

Being contacted by my manager while on vacation... really?

My manager is in worry mode, as my guy had predicted.

I received a long e-mail message from my boss, asking me to prepare a list of who, out of my three students, will be handling a number of tasks while I am away.

I dislike when my manager gets in this mode. He only asks this task from me. It does not happen to anyone else on the team.

The kicker is this last request:

In case of emergency, how to contact you with a minimum (not maximum) 24-hour response time.

What? I am on vacation. There is a reason why I am on vacation. I am not doing work.

I don't think that the mandatory course that we all took about work-life balance has properly register in his head. As someone who has worked from home for years, I am pretty good at distinguishing between doing work and then stopping to focus on my life.

How would you handle such a request? I am inclined to say that I am on vacation. I need to de-stress and recharge. Being contacted by my manager on vacation is not ideal. I should not be checking work e-mail or picking up work calls.

Last September, I took a Friday off as a vacation day. A contractor had quit after three days. My manager sent me two e-mails about this contractor's departure and then left me a voice message on my home phone. To me, this situation is not an emergency that warrants contacting me at home. I foresee a repeat, but amplified in a negative way.

Diametrically opposed periods

On Saturday, I spent the day with a good friend. We have been friends since grade 7.

Growing up, she lived in the suburbs and I lived in Toronto. We both went to the same senior public and high schools in the eastern part of Toronto. We were in touch while we attended different universities. I then moved away to another province and country, eventually finding my way back to the greater Toronto area. She ended up moving to Toronto and staying there. We still got together whenever I was in town and we kept in touch through the years.

In June, she will be moving to eastern Ontario, in a city that is roughly a two-hour drive away from me. It's not too bad, considering that we'll be meeting midway somewhere.

I am excited for her. The change will be good for her. Naturally, I will miss hanging out with her as frequently as we have been these days. However, distance has never been an issue for us.

As weird as this segment will be, we seem to be diametrically opposed in some areas of our lives. We both realized that menstrual cycles are one such area.

She let me know as we were driving to one of our favourite restaurants that she is perimenopausal. It basically means that she is experiencing irregular menstrual cycles and menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes, earlier than you typically do as a woman. She seems to get getting her period every six months. Her doctor has said that either she will continue this irregular pattern or her period will cease.

As for me, I experienced the complete opposite experience. When I first got my period in grade 7, my period was irregular right from the start. Mine never happened monthly. Sometimes, it was six months later. Other times, it could have been a year. My thyroid checked out fine. I was given pills to regulate my period and so on.

It wasn't until I lost sixty pounds nearly six years ago that my menstrual cycle became a monthly, predictable event. Hormones are interesting. I had lost and gained weight many times in my life, and my period continued to be irregular. It wasn't until I lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off that my hormones stabilized.

So, my good friend and I are like two ships in the night, except that we are Cancerian and often meet by water.

My 500th post

I have finally reached my 500th post. It is bittersweet to a certain extent.

To reach this milestone, it has taken me nearly a decade. Life gets in the way.

I didn't blog as consistently as I would have liked to. A number of life-changing events happened to me:

• I was employee at four different companies, with one letting go 75% of our department, and another got acquired by my current employer.
• I was in an unhealthy marriage, and finally had the courage to separate from him by moving back to my home province, and both paying and filing for my divorce myself.
• I decided to get my Master's degree, which was both rewarding and stressful.
• I injured my back and had back surgery. I was then on short-term disability for two months.
• Something wonderful happened after I had injured my back. My guy and I talked more at work, and we have been together ever since. He is my best friend.
• I have had many spankings over the past decade, but the ones with my guy are the most satisfying. He had never spanked anyone in his life. Now, he enjoys it and spanks me so well. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Thanks to those who have dropped by over the years and for those who are regular readers of my blog. Your support means a lot to me.

I recently read Florida Dom's blog about Google imposing censorship rules on Blogger. The company is cracking down on blogs that have sexual content, but it seems more focused on sexual photos.

I agree with Florida Dom that the company wants to shut down blogs that have the adult content setting activated. I have never used this setting on my blog and I have not received any e-mail saying that my blog will be shut down.

Well, it looks like Google has changed its mind now, as Hermione has pointed out. Yay!

A sweet review of the girl with the naughty name's blog (that is, my blog)

It seems like a long time. Then again, this year is blowing by too quickly for my liking.

Back in June, I participated in my first blogging challenge. Each day, you choose a topic to write about and your topic goes through each letter of the alphabet. I knew that it would be difficult for me to accomplish, considering that I had a major deadline that month at work and that I haven't blogged that regularly in years.

Although I thought that I would be going through a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and nervous breakdowns, I survived. I felt good that I had accomplished something important. I also managed to find a number of blogs that I love following.

I wish that I could read a blog from start until finish. I was lucky to have found Han's blog. He has a good mix of post topics. Variety is good. I appreciate his hand at writing poetry and quoting poems from some of my favourite poets, such as Ogden Nash. He also posts intriguing photos that end up being etched in my memory for quite some time. I admire that he participates in far more blog challenges that I have.

We found each other's blogs through this challenge in June. I was flattered one day, a few weeks back, when he left me a message, saying that he was striving to read every post that I have written.

I used to do that with this blog. I have been told that I have a good memory. I am also a reflective person, so reading and reminiscing aren't unusual tasks for me.

I haven't read my older blog posts for a while. It is mainly because this blog can be divided into two distinct sections:

• My life as a married woman, which crumbled and I finally managed to end my marriage after years of knowing that it had a number of issues that could not be resolved.
• My life these days with my guy.

A few days ago, Han left me a message, stating that he wanted to write a post on his blog about mine. Reviews are both exciting and frightening to me. It's nice that someone loves reading every post that you write and comments regularly. On the other hand, it's the I-don't-know-what-he-is-going-to-say and I-may-not-enjoy-blogging-if-the-comments-are-negative feelings that I had. He reassured me by letting me read his draft. He also wanted to make sure that I was okay with the content.

His insight gave me insight on my life, which is refreshing. I could tear people to shreds. I have been through a bunch of negative experiences. I could let them all out on this blog, but it's just not me.

I am a writer by trade. This blog is an outlet for me. I don't talk about my love for spanking to anyone but those who are close to me, so I do just that on my blog. I am connected to people in the blogosphere who share the same passion as I do. These days, I am spanked more than dishing spankings out. It is an ongoing, exciting journey for me. I want to share these experiences, which has not changed since I started my blog.

And, yes, it took one reader who was upset that I wasn't customizing my blog post for his liking that made me review all comments here prior to publishing them. As much as I love readers following along, I do blog for myself first. It's just sweeter when readers enjoy what I blog about, too.

So, thanks again to Han for taking the time to read practically all my blog posts by now. Thanks to you, my readers, for your support. 

I am approaching 500 posts. Han made the observation that I have been blogging on and off for nine years. Wow! There are some rather large periods of my being away -- mainly from my divorce, from back surgery, and from my master's degree. Each blog post is a snapshot of a moment in my life, similar to taking a photo. I wouldn't delete any of these snapshots, whether good or nasty.

Perhaps I should go back and read my blog posts and see how far I have come.

Thanks,

Cutiebootie (a.k.a. the girl with the naughty name)

Taking a much needed break now by addressing ongoing comments from a disappointed visitor

Hi, all! I have lots of updates to make. It has been a really busy year for me. I need to respond to ongoing, negative comments from a "frequent" visitor.

I have received a number of e-mails from one particular person who doesn't quite understand why I don't update this blog as often as he would like. He doesn't get the fact that I have taken five graduate courses this year on top of working full-time, switched jobs, and continue to attend to my family. In a nutshell, I'm tired of hearing about his "disappointment," and he is obviously too thick to realize that if my blog is such a downer for him, why does he continue to pester me with his negative remarks and, in a bizarre lack of logic, continue to visit my blog?

Perhaps he thinks that by trying to get under my skin, that I'll "please" him by posting something that is "satisfactory" for him. I'm sorry, but you're out of luck there. With school, work, and life, I had to drop a number of things that I love doing temporarily in my spare time. This blog was one of the casualties.

I also got the impression that this person feels he can "demand" what he wants to see on my blog, as if he's a paying customer. I feel like I'm a broken record. I write because I love to write. It's what I do for a living. I have an interest in spanking and love to share what I've been through, as well as get feedback from the rest of you out there. I would love to write more often. My priorities have shifted. I want to get my master's degree. I want to do well in my fairly new job. I want to have a happy family life. The spankings still happen. I just need to find some time to jot them down and share them.

Perhaps you might understand where I'm coming from now. I doubt it, though. If you are "disappointed," move on. Change. I don't want to hear the same "disappointment" crap from you. You obviously crave attention. You've won. Happy?

Your comments disappoint me. How does that make you feel hearing your mantra from someone else? You disappoint me because you have the need to tell me that I'm doing a bad job at updating my blog. I've explained at least three times now why I don't update it. It doesn't sink in.

I really did not want to address your negative remarks in a blog posting. I am giving in to your huge ego to be "acknowledged." Maybe you need a good spanking over my knee. The thing is that you don't deserve such fine treatment from me.

Oh, and your comment about how no one wants to visit my blog because I don't post anything interesting is wrong. I haven't posted anything since August, but I still average approximately 70 visitors a day. Not bad. You obviously return, so something here must spark your interest, right? And, no, the "success" of a blog isn't how many people comment on a posting, as you think it is. Although I don't update as often as I'd like, I believe in the quality of what I write. I'm frank. I'm sharing my thoughts and experiences. In my eyes, my blog is a success.

I have thought about posting your last nasty comment to me. You'd win again. I won't let that happen.

Thanks for letting me vent. On to more happy spanking tales.

Hugs,
Cutiebootie