Skin care

I feel the need to change my skin care routine. My skin looks blotchy. I can't tell if it's due to the sun or aging at this stage.

I admit that I don't moisturize as much as I should. So, I've started doing that more.

One more day to get through and the weekend is here. Yay!

Ontario enters step 2 and I'll contemplating a haircut

Today, the lockdown lifts a bit in Ontario. We are entering step 2. Personal care services are allowed to reopen, for instance. There are a bunch of other changes.

I would love to get my hair cut. However, I feel like many folks will be doing that today. The worst case is getting my hair cut during the weekday next week. I'll still be on vacation.

I'm enjoying my time off so far. I got more free cookies today. I went to a bookstore and got some great deals. I'm happy.

More thoughts from my friend's funeral

My friend organized her entire funeral. We are similar in that we are natural planners. She wasn't a control freak. She simply wanted to take care of it without burdening others. It was just who she was.

She made sure that everyone had a bagged lunch after the service. It made me smile. It was so her.

She left a voice message to all of us. She said that we were her miracle. Her daughter let out a sob. I lost it there as tears trickled down my face. It felt good hearing her voice.

She chose the music that was played. I have the list, which is now a part of my playlist and will always remind me of her.

At the end, Amazing Grace was played. The Mayo Clinic managed to record her heartbeat. Her heartbeat was then used as the beat for the song, which had guitar as the melody. It was unique and I felt connected to her -- as if she were saying to everyone that they would be okay.

I managed to grieve at her streamed funeral. I felt a lot better today. It was a lovely service celebrating her life. She somehow managed to reassure us that things were going to be okay. I am healing one day at a time.

Grieving and celebrating my friend's life

On Saturday, I attended my friend's funeral online. It was my first experience attending a virtual funeral. I am grateful that the funeral home offered this service.

It allowed me to attend when the Canada-US border continues to be closed due to COVID-19. It's also nice for those who can't travel or want to stay safe to attend remotely.

It was a beautiful celebration of my friend and her life. There were many parts of the service that made me smile. Essentially, my friend organized her own funeral and made sure that we were all taken care of. She was always that way, including right up to her death.

I may write more about what was said and share in another post. Right now, I am simply reflecting and appreciate her even more.

I didn't write the previous day. On Friday night, I decided to grieve in my own way. I played music that she loved. It brought back fond memories of both of us attending these performances live and enjoying these songs together.

My friend is a nurse and a meal discount for her

A few hours ago, I learned that my friend in Ottawa is a nurse. She had indicated that she was in the health field. I never pry when it comes to what people do for a living. When they are ready to let me know, they will. She quietly let me know.

She's doing well. I told her to take care of herself. She is on the frontlines with Canadians who may or may not have COVID-19.

I let her know that Harvey's is having a promotion for health care workers and first responders starting today. When they present proof that they are in the health care field, their meals are 50% off. It's a nice gesture. She was thrilled to hear about the deal. It lasts for a week.

I'm glad that I did a small part to brighten her day.

Surprise text full of honest, sweet thoughts

The man in my life is sweet and mushy. He poured his heart out in a text last night to me. It was poignant.

He had said that he can't write a novel. He proved himself wrong. It was nice and I woke up wiht a smile on my face reading it.

It's nice to feel loved again. To feel like someone out there cares and is genuinely sweet.

Dinner with a friend and tons of laughter

On Friday night, I had dinner with a friend who used to be my intern. I hadn't seen her since April.

It was fun reminiscing, catching up, and just having a good time with great company. We laughed a lot, to the point where our tummies were aching by the end of the evening.

I haven't laughed that much in ages. It was much needed. I still have my sad moments about being heartbroken. However, I am simply fortunate to have friends who care about me.

Nail polish

I have been working with three students since May. The longest-serving one has been with me since January of this year.

The building management at work had a barbeque lunch for us on Thursday. I went with my students to fetch some food. It was good. I got a beef sandwich with greens, a corn and bean salad, a Diet Pepsi, and a fudge popsicle.

I had lunch with them, which I don't often do on a Thursday. It was good.

We all had manicures. We all had different colours of polish. My three students looked at my nails and thought that I went to the salon every week.

I give myself a manicure every Sunday. I have only been to a salon once this year, if I am not mistaken. They felt that my polish looked professionally done. It was a nice compliment.

My guy loves my nails. Perhaps I don't notice how much I take care of my nails. I'm glad that I do.

Nervous energy, in a good way

My guy returns home from camping for nearly five days. It will be fun hearing all about his stories.

I have been preparing for a presentation that I am giving to my peers later on today. I am nervous. I think that it's normal to feel this way. It means that I care about what I am going to talk about.

The weird thing is that my feelings from my past are resurfacing. I feel anxious.

I used to dislike speaking in front of crowds. These days, I talk a lot in front of peers. Yet, I feel that I have a mild case of butterflies-in-my-stomach jitters.

My first bout was back in grade 7. We often did presentations often. I disliked speaking. Mind you, there were a number of other factors that year on top of this issue. I basically skipped a total of a month's worth of classes. I wanted to avoid so much -- people, homework, assignments, class presentations, and so much more.

So, feeling a bit nervous is perfectly good. I know the content well. I have taught it to student interns both past and present, as well as colleagues. If I didn't feel anything, I would definitely be concerned.

Here's hoping that all goes well with my talk today. The crazy thing is that I am slated to give two more presentations in September. I should be a pro at it by then!

My guy making a rare appearance at work on Friday

My guy is going through another bout of depression. I have been giving him some breathing room, so he can sort out his feelings. We both hope that his mood will improve.

He was supposed to be at work this week for some training seminars. However, when I communicated with him on Tuesday, he said that he decided to stay at home. I simply told him to let me know when he was in the office.

On Friday, I didn't bring my lunch. Most of my team members could not go out for lunch. My boss was free, so we went to a vegetarian dim sum place. The food was tasty. I felt full for hours.

When we got back from lunch, I saw my guy exiting the building. We were both shocked to see each other. We each were with a colleague, so we kept our chat brief. My guy was smiling. He seemed like his usual self.

At 17:00, I had had enough of work and decided to wrap up the week. I typically stay longer than this departure time, but I often work more hours than I decided to pack up and go.

I was about to turn off my laptop. My guy sent me a message on our company's instant messaging program. I asked my guy if he needed anything, as I was powering off my laptop. He quickly pointed out that he wanted to wish me a good weekend. I knew that he was in a better mood.

I asked him whether he would like to chat. He was fine spending some time talking to me over tea. We met in one of the lunchrooms. We were both sitting close to it.

Of course, a software developer decided to track me down to ask me a question at the end of the workday and workweek. We spent perhaps ten minutes talking.

I then met my guy in the lunchroom. It was nice to see him. He looked good.

He confirmed that his mood was good today. He confessed that it was horrible for him the day before. He shared with me an app on his phone that lets him track his mood. It comes with analytical graphics. It's a useful tool.

I asked him whether I could hold his hand. Normally, we wouldn't do it at work, in a fairly public setting. Without waiting for a reply, I held his hand under the table. He liked that. He felt good. So did I.

We chatted some more about our week. We both cracked jokes like we usually do. It felt normal.

Baby steps. Friday was a positive, optimistic sign.