Being taken for granted and dealing with insensitivity

This post is a rant. Frankly, I am tired of dealing with dealing with people who take me for granted and come across as being insensitive.

At work, I have an incompetent colleague. She decided to join a holiday committee to determine what our entire organization should do this year for our holiday company bash. This committee of four people didn't really come up with ideas, other than to have each department in this organization arrange something.

When it came down to my manager asking her was she would recommend, she caved. Instead, she threw the question at me. I told her that it was a horrible action on her part. In the past, I arranged a number of lunches and outings. Heaven forbid, what happens if I get hit by a bus? Who will be your go-to person for organizing such events? I flat out said in front of my team that I should not be the go-to person. I did offer a suggestion, though. I am not lifting a finger because this team can't arrange a thing.

Idiot. The folks in my department can't think for themselves. We also have an incompetent older guy who, every year, says that he's fine with whatever our team comes up with. He can never make a decision on his own. Ugh.

Then, there's my blog. I write what's on my mind. I'm entitled to. It's my blog.

Don't ask me when I am going to self-spank. My mood dictates when. Not you. I don't customize my blog to suit your needs.

Oh, and if you're reading along and you spot a typo, don't point it out to me. It's rude. I don't point out your grammatical or mechanical issues. Why? Because it's rude. I write blog posts before I go to bed. I find it relaxing and therapeutic. I am not perfect. Let the typos slide and cut me some slack.

I am not at work. My blog is my down time. I didn't ask for you to proofread my blog.

So, you found a typo. Does that make you feel good when you tell me to go find it and time how long it takes me to fix it? Who the hell do you think you are? That post was a perfectly joyous one for me and you decided to rain on my parade. Does that make you feel good, too?

This incident feels just like my manager telling me to report an issue to human resources about a field that only he relied on and no one else. He simply had forgotten to wish me a happy ten-year work anniversary and his actions put a damper on that special milestone. 

How about putting away your negativity so that I can enjoy being happy about something? We are in a pandemic. We need something cheerful. One step further: How about thinking about how insensitive you come across when you have to bring up a minor imperfection? It's not the first time that you have pointed it out, either. Let it slide.

And, don't tell me to go find my typo. I'm not playing your hunt-the-typo game. Good for you for finding it. I hope that your achievement makes you feel accomplished and you can sleep well tonight.

I'm done. Frankly, I shouldn't have to write such a post. However, not everyone gets it, or what the effect of their actions or comments is on others.

Thanks for reading along. I have more cheerful content to write about.

Canning delays and relaxing with Airpods

I am hoping that this post is the last one about the toxic diva for a bit. She is still going to be canned. My manager has already initiated the process. The downside is that there is a legal process within the company. As a result, she won't be gone on Monday, so there is a delay.

I can only hope that she is gone sometime next week. She worked from home on Friday. Her e-mails got me so annoyed that my manager hinted that I should watch my blood pressure. Although he has the occasional, odd lapse in judgment, his heart is generally in the right place. He stepped in and replied, putting her in place. I de-stressed by getting a cup of hot chocolate.

He had a conversation with my mini-me, in private. He basically hinted that he was going to give her a number of added responsibilities, which she welcomes. He asked her to keep it confidential until he works out all the details. In other words, he has not let her know about the diva being canned, which I expected.

He proceeded to tell her that we need to be respectful with others and be professional. He added that there have been a ton of negative comments and rumours taking place about others. He confided in me, saying that judging by the look of my mini-me, she nodded. He knew that she had been affected by such negativity recently.

It's interesting that I don't see my working relationship changing with both my mini-me and my student after the diva's negative comments. My stance still holds true. If you have worked with me and know me, you know the truth. I don't need a diva to poison their minds with false, negative perceptions about me.

Thank goodness it's the weekend. I am unwinding. 

I recently got a pair of AirPods. I don't think that I have paid so much for a pair of earbuds. However, the sound is incredible and I am enjoying not being chained to my device. The fact that they automatically connect and disconnect when you put them in their pod case is pretty cool. And, yes, I have them paired with a non-Apple device. They work well.

Turfing the diva... yay!

My manager and I had a confidential talk about our troublesome new writer. Before I dive into those details, this writer decided to indicate that she was taking a sick day on Thursday.

Having her away from the office felt good. None of us had to deal with her diva-like tendencies.

My manager indicated that he had spoken to his manager about this writer. They both agreed that she needs to be canned. She has her own agenda, doesn't listen, and is a loose, unproductive cannon.

Her workload won't go back to me. Rather, the other writer who has already taken over a portion of my work will take over her work. Essentially, this writer is my mini-me. She works well and she is okay with taking on my workload, minus the other lead tasks that I do.

That's good. I can continue working on processes and other details.

My boss got word from another colleague that the diva has been saying negative things about both of us. I asked him not to tell me what they were. I don't need to know.

My view is that whenever someone has something negative to say about me, not only is it untrue, but it signals insecurity. The diva gives the impression that she knows everything. She doesn't. Instead, she needs to say horrible things about folks to make her feel better.

She also seems to buy her way to being liked. We recently had a colleague from Brazil visit for three weeks. Although the diva didn't know her, she bought her a parting gift last Friday. Odd.

During her first week, she said that she would buy me a tea. The following week, she did the same thing. She never did. Perhaps she was waiting for me to make the first move. I don't fall for such a trap.

Anyway, my boss is planning to can her either on Friday or Monday. The latter looks more promising. Either way, I feel a weight being lifted.

The diva has been a bad influence on a number of writers. I have noticed this week that as soon as either my boss or I walk into the lunchroom in which she is in, she immediately looks, gets up, and leaves. Ah, such maturity!

The diva is closer to my manager's age. I am wondering whether she feels threatened by someone like me, who is equally as seasoned of a writer, but who is far more competent, be her team lead.

My manager describes her as a poison. I agree. I actually said to him that she is toxic. I avoid toxic folks at all costs.

B is for being me #AtoZchallenge

I have a unique relationship with my manager. We have a respectful employee-manager work relationship. It has also developed into a friendship, which still feels new to me.

Last Thursday, I had my performance review for 2016. Don't ask why it came so late. My company is messed up that way.

When it came down to what I could do to improve, my manager polled a rather toxic individual who naturally gave negative feedback. He hinted that both he and I dislike this person.

I flat out told him how I felt. This person seems to always have something negative to say about me and cannot back up her comments with factual information. She is highly toxic and is probably acting this way because I seem to be a threat to her. I ended saying that I would take her statement with a grain of salt, as she doesn't even know me.

I never asked why my manager asked this individual for feedback. We don't work closely with each other. After saying my two cents, he nodded in agreement.

My performance review was positive. My manager confided in me. He said that there are two writers whom he can count on to meet deadlines and get our work done. I am one of them, which is a nice compliment. The other compliment was that I was the only one on the team who received a comment saying that my work is of high quality.

The younger me would have been upset over the toxic woman's negative remarks. The person writing this blog post now is not. I am pleased with my performance at work. I balance the workload of at least two writers. These days, it seems like three. I will not let one idiot's negative remarks with no factual information to back her accusations up dampen my spirit.

I like who I am and how far I have come. It's good to grow.

Passing of the ex-hubby -- reflections of being spanked as an adult by him

I found out about my ex-hubby's passing simply by doing a Google search.

To make an extremely long story short, our marriage was not a pleasant one for me. I needed to make a clean break from him, as it was an unhealthy relationship that I was in for many years. However, in his view, he thought that all was well and was devastated when I decided to file divorce papers.

His health had been in decline for a while. I hope that he is at peace.

When I first read his obituary, I wasn't sad. I was relieved in the sense that the unhealthy feelings and negativity that he cast on me would cease at long last.

However, I have fond memories of our relationships when things were good. I remember our first kiss and how special it felt. He took me to my first musical, The Phantom of the Opera. I felt special going out in a white sweater and black pants. I also got to discretely grope his hard cock towards the end of the musical.

He took me to my first NHL game. We watched hockey as often as we could. I also got the travel bug from him. I wanted to see the world and I still do.

He was the first man who spanked my backside as an adult. I was shy about having my bare bottom exposed, but I wanted to be spanked badly. He made me feel comfortable. He used a wooden clothes hanger, cane, slipper, bare hand, wooden paddle, and many other fun implements. I love being spanked to this day.

I also became fond of giving spankings. He loved being over my knee, with my wearing a short black skirt and pantyhose.

May he rest in peace.

A sweet review of the girl with the naughty name's blog (that is, my blog)

It seems like a long time. Then again, this year is blowing by too quickly for my liking.

Back in June, I participated in my first blogging challenge. Each day, you choose a topic to write about and your topic goes through each letter of the alphabet. I knew that it would be difficult for me to accomplish, considering that I had a major deadline that month at work and that I haven't blogged that regularly in years.

Although I thought that I would be going through a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and nervous breakdowns, I survived. I felt good that I had accomplished something important. I also managed to find a number of blogs that I love following.

I wish that I could read a blog from start until finish. I was lucky to have found Han's blog. He has a good mix of post topics. Variety is good. I appreciate his hand at writing poetry and quoting poems from some of my favourite poets, such as Ogden Nash. He also posts intriguing photos that end up being etched in my memory for quite some time. I admire that he participates in far more blog challenges that I have.

We found each other's blogs through this challenge in June. I was flattered one day, a few weeks back, when he left me a message, saying that he was striving to read every post that I have written.

I used to do that with this blog. I have been told that I have a good memory. I am also a reflective person, so reading and reminiscing aren't unusual tasks for me.

I haven't read my older blog posts for a while. It is mainly because this blog can be divided into two distinct sections:

• My life as a married woman, which crumbled and I finally managed to end my marriage after years of knowing that it had a number of issues that could not be resolved.
• My life these days with my guy.

A few days ago, Han left me a message, stating that he wanted to write a post on his blog about mine. Reviews are both exciting and frightening to me. It's nice that someone loves reading every post that you write and comments regularly. On the other hand, it's the I-don't-know-what-he-is-going-to-say and I-may-not-enjoy-blogging-if-the-comments-are-negative feelings that I had. He reassured me by letting me read his draft. He also wanted to make sure that I was okay with the content.

His insight gave me insight on my life, which is refreshing. I could tear people to shreds. I have been through a bunch of negative experiences. I could let them all out on this blog, but it's just not me.

I am a writer by trade. This blog is an outlet for me. I don't talk about my love for spanking to anyone but those who are close to me, so I do just that on my blog. I am connected to people in the blogosphere who share the same passion as I do. These days, I am spanked more than dishing spankings out. It is an ongoing, exciting journey for me. I want to share these experiences, which has not changed since I started my blog.

And, yes, it took one reader who was upset that I wasn't customizing my blog post for his liking that made me review all comments here prior to publishing them. As much as I love readers following along, I do blog for myself first. It's just sweeter when readers enjoy what I blog about, too.

So, thanks again to Han for taking the time to read practically all my blog posts by now. Thanks to you, my readers, for your support. 

I am approaching 500 posts. Han made the observation that I have been blogging on and off for nine years. Wow! There are some rather large periods of my being away -- mainly from my divorce, from back surgery, and from my master's degree. Each blog post is a snapshot of a moment in my life, similar to taking a photo. I wouldn't delete any of these snapshots, whether good or nasty.

Perhaps I should go back and read my blog posts and see how far I have come.

Thanks,

Cutiebootie (a.k.a. the girl with the naughty name)