My mom and her memory

I haven't been writing a whole lot here. I don't think it's because I have nothing to write about or that I'm lazy.

I haven't felt the need to write anything just yet.

It's likely because I'm still processing things. Trying to come to grips with my mom's memory loss is one of them.

She often opens and closes the front door. She'll bolt the door with the security chain lock without remembering that either my dad or I are about to return to the house. It's weird.

She will also open and close the washroom door on the main floor. It's a bit difficult to tell whether she needs to use the washroom and forgets to walk through the door, or if it's the same habit that she has with the front door.

Last Monday, she fell down in the washroom. My dad and I had to help get her off the floor. Thankfully, she doesn't fall down often. When she does, it's a bit scary. Luckily, she was fine.

Daylight saving time - falling back

I like when we fall back an hour. I get to sleep in.

On Saturday, I finally saw Chang-Shi at my local movie theatre. I loved it. It's even more special when I used a voucher and didn't have to pay a thing.

Moments of sadness and reflection

I have been sad here and there as of late. I can't help but to think about the ex right about now. We started dating in mid-September. It was exciting and wonderful going into October.

That feeling is long gone. 

I loved the fun, loving guy that he was. He ended up sucking the fun out of our relationship by making up terms. I had had enough when he wanted to be friends only -- no relationship and no sex. He then changed his mind a year later. He wanted the sex and friendship. No relationship.

I had had it. I wanted no sex, no relationship, and no friendship.

Even though I am at peace with my decision, I still have moments of sadness. When we were together and he didn't impose these ridiculous terms, it was magical. When he added terms that appeased him, it made me upset. When he ended our relationship, he hurt me. I felt abandoned and unloved.

For over a year, I have had to rediscover who I am. The person that I was before this relationship. The person that I am after having my heart torn apart, picking the pieces up, and telling him to shove it.

It's okay that I have moments of sadness and vulnerability. I was in it for nearly eight years. I'm entitled.

Maybe someday, I'll be with someone who loves me unconditionally. I'm still not there. I'm okay with it. 

Last summer feel when it's practically autumn

Saturday felt like a warm summer day. I took advantage of the day by heading over to a park in Port Perry and getting ice cream.

Last weekend, I was doing work. This weekend, I am focusing on relaxing and unwinding. It's quite the contrast.

It's nice that I am cooking more these days. On Saturday, I made myself breakfast, consisting of an omelette, bacon, and perogies. On Friday, I got a new container for my Vitamix where I can whip up mousse and more. I need to find a recipe and give it a try.

Sleep and snoring

I didn't sleep all that well a couple of nights ago. Muscle spasms in my toes on my right foot would not cease for a couple of hours. I took four Ibuprofen tablets during this period and I finally went to sleep.

I only had three hours of sleep that night. On Thursday, I had a full day of work. I came home and was fine. I didn't need a nap.

On my phone, I have a sleep app that I use. It monitors how long I'm asleep, when I'm in a deep sleep, when I snore, and more. I like when it records my snoring. I am not a loud snorer and I tend to snore when I am exhausted.

Sure enough, I looked at my snoring statistics from last night. I was snoring for 25 minutes. I was snoring louder than I typically do. It's fun hearing my snoring!

I felt absolutely refreshed when I woke up on Friday morning. It was wonderful.

I get to set my clocks back an hour on Saturday night. I love getting an extra hour of sleep. 

Windy day with consequences

Toronto and its suburbs experienced strong winds on Friday afternoon. My colleagues and I went out for lunch just before noon. It was breezy. Roughly 1.5 hours later, we left the restaurant and the winds had picked up.

When I left work at 17:00, I had difficulty pushing the door to get out of the building. A bit of fear washed over me. I didn't want to be stuck at work. I basically put as much weight as I could leaning on the door. Eventually, I got out after trying for a minute.

I saw a bunch of debris blow everywhere as I drove home. The most frightening part was seeing a thin sign blow in front of my car. I sadly drove over it. I checked my car and didn't see any damage.

Traffic was horrific. Many street lights weren't working. I took a longer route home. I actually cut through Brampton. Many traffic officers were guiding traffic under such windy conditions.

Driving home, there were a couple of huge trees that had fallen. On a residential street roughly two minutes away by car from my home, it had blocked my entire driving lane. I had to move to the oncoming lane to get by.

I finally figured out that Toronto had winds gusting to 118 km/h. Wow. Simply insane.

Power was and may still be out in many neighbourhoods. I hope that everyone is safe.

Klutzy start of 2018 - completed trifecta

I don't know whether there is something in the air or if the additional snow this winter has made me more klutzy than usual. Things happen in threes. I can attest to this odd energy.

A couple of weeks ago, I left my home to head into my car to drive to work. There was black ice. I didn't see it and wiped out. Luckily, nothing happened other than being a bit sore for a couple of days.

Last week, I had a full mug of tea. I had a lid covering my double-walled mug. I accidentally elbowed it in a meeting room at work. My mug went tumbling onto the carpeted floor. I got some paper towel to clean up the spill on the boardroom table and a chair.

Today was the final piece of this trifecta. I went to a seller's home to pick up a paper shredder. I parked in his driveway and went up the stairs to ring the doorbell.

What I didn't know was that underneath the unshovelled snow in front of his door was marble. I lost my balance and fell on my right knee.

First, I would recommend getting a mat if you have a slippery surface like marble that is outside. Second, I'd suggest shovelling the snow so that folks don't slip and fall. Third, if you have a home, having a stair railing to get up and down the stairs comes in handy.

So, I have a couple of bruises on my right knee. It's a bit sore to walk, but I'm okay. I am icing my knee to reduce the swelling. I am also elevating my leg.

The other injury is a sore middle finger on my left hand. It's a bit sore typing right now. I am perfectly fine flipping the bird. Making a fist can still be done, but it is a bit sore.

What an odd day! The good news is that I was fine picking up my paper shredder, which works fine. I also got some dinner afterwards, which made things a ton better.

I'm working from home on Friday. It's supposed to snow and I don't want to drive with my sore knee. I will simply take it easy.

Wiping out on freezing rain

There was freezing rain overnight. On Monday morning, I headed out the door and to my car, trying to get to work.

I didn't realize that there was freezing rain on the driveway. I walked, lost my balance, and wiped out. I haven't wiped out in nearly a decade.

The good news is that my fall wasn't bad. I landed on my left hip, towards the back where the fleshiest part of it is. I was holding my hat with my mittens inside it in my left hand. When I landed, the stuffed hat acted as a cushion.

I told my guy that at work through text messages. He works from home most days.

"Glad you're okay. Are you at work or did you stay home?" he asked me.
"Yes, I made it to work," I replied.
"Take it easy. Thank goodness you're working from home on Tuesday and Wednesday," he replied.

He's sweet when he's concerned.

We are trying to get together this weekend. We like getting a hotel room. It's fun and enjoyable when we do.

Teaching and spanking

My guy teaches a course during both the spring and fall sessions. It's good because the educational institution isn't far from work. It's pretty much equidistant from where we both live.

"What would happen if I showed up in your class?" I asked him.
"It would be similar to your showing up at one of my training sessions at work. Your presence would make my day," he admitted.
"You're sweet," I replied.
"You would definitely make teaching more interesting. I would make you stay after class and spank you for being a bad student," he said.
"When is your class starting?" I asked, with both of us grinning at each other.

It's nice that we both like to fantasize.

N is for numb

By numb, I mean in a good, temporary sense. I don't mean that I am numb from negative behaviours that I see my colleagues exhibit that pull me down. 

I have been sleeping better lately. I don't know if it's because work is so busy that my body insists on getting rest. I don't mind it at all.

The other morning, I woke up on my left side. I typically sleep either on my back or my right side. It was a bit of a shift -- physically.

Apparently, I had been on my left side for a while. It was so unnatural that my fingers on my left hand were asleep, too. Part of my arm also decided to partake in falling sleep.

It took nearly five minutes to get my left arm and hand back to normal. I would have been concerned if the tingling was permanent.