My mom and her memory

I haven't been writing a whole lot here. I don't think it's because I have nothing to write about or that I'm lazy.

I haven't felt the need to write anything just yet.

It's likely because I'm still processing things. Trying to come to grips with my mom's memory loss is one of them.

She often opens and closes the front door. She'll bolt the door with the security chain lock without remembering that either my dad or I are about to return to the house. It's weird.

She will also open and close the washroom door on the main floor. It's a bit difficult to tell whether she needs to use the washroom and forgets to walk through the door, or if it's the same habit that she has with the front door.

Last Monday, she fell down in the washroom. My dad and I had to help get her off the floor. Thankfully, she doesn't fall down often. When she does, it's a bit scary. Luckily, she was fine.

Compression socks and foot pain

Last week, I bought a pair of compression socks. They are open-toe socks that go past my ankles. I wear one on my right foot before I go to bed because my foot pain happens with that foot only.

Last Saturday, I did a lot of walking downtown. The following day, I could feel my foot pain starting. I put on my compression sock immediately. Between one to two hours later, the pain went away.

It seems to be a great purchase. I'll need to test out my theory some more to determine whether it truly works or if this first experience was a coincidence. I'm hoping that it's the former.

Rough waters that are calmer now

My love interest and I have had a few rocky days. He is stressed out at work. We had our first major disagreement last Friday.

In a nutshell, he signed an employment contract where if he is contracting equipment and it is faulty, he needs to foot the bill to fix it. I found that odd. Why doesn't his employer help him out?

He basically needed $4500 to repair a crane, including labour. He didn't have that much money and didn't tell me about his problem it until I was his last resort.

I lost it. I like when people are open with me. He shouldn't have left things bottled up inside.

So, I told him off. I went one step further and said that it wouldn't work between us. He doesn't think straight when he is stressed out, which was another red flag. He wasn't the person that I thought I knew.

We both were upset with each other. We also realized that we are a good fit when we take a step back.

I told him that I felt disrespected. He wouldn't take no for an answer about my helping him financially. I like helping people out. I don't like the pressure. He realized that he was wrong.

I overreacted being dismissed in this whole ordeal. I took some time to think things through. He was under so much stress that I added more stress for him than was necessary. He is a decent person. He has just had a ton of bad breaks.

I thought of a better financial solution to help him out. I have been working on reducing my debt for a while now and did not budget to lend money out. I managed to juggle a few things around and can lend him money. Basically, he can't proceed with his construction work until he pays for the crane repairs. It also means that he doesn't get paid until he completes his construction work. It's a vicious circle.

Here's hoping that he negotiates a better employment contract for him and a better customer contract down the road. Lessons learned on so many fronts for both of us.

Dating again and observations

I'm so rusty with the dating scene. I haven't done it since 2011. I am taking it slow. It has been a learning experience.

The guy that I have been chatting with as of late takes some coaxing to open up. I realize that I am such a natural conversationalist in comparison.

So far, things are clicking. One day at a time. I remind myself and have told him that I'm not in a rush to do anything or to get to some major stage. He respects that. I'm pleased.

Missing someone that it hurts and dealing with work madness

Have you ever missed someone that it just hurts? That, for a brief moment, a sense of sadness and panic set in? After all of that passes, you're then okay?

I am feeling all of these emotions. I don't know why I am experiencing such a mixed bag, but I do miss my guy a ton.

I suppose that it doesn't help that there are issues with an upcoming, major software release. All weekend, I simply saw e-mails flooding my inbox on various issues, and what needs to be fixed in both the code and documentation.

About that job that I had interviewed for several weeks ago, it turns out that the position is on hold. I frankly didn't think it was a good fit for me. However, I have heard through the odd, contracted human resources woman that they have a different position in mind for me come January.

I don't have a favourable impression about this company. I will hear what they have to say, but I won't hold my breath.

Debt and credit card reductions

I'm working on reducing my debt. It's a constant battle.

I am hoping to pay off one of them in a couple of months. I have been working on it for a while and I see a bit of light.

My ultimate goal is to get rid of a grand total of two credit cards this year. Last year, I got rid of one. I don't know what possessed me to have so many credit cards. They are evil!

My guy feels the same way about credit cards. You only need one or two.

It's nice that we can chat about finances. It's healthy.

Being vulnerable... he's here!

When my guy and I started dating, it took him a while to open up to me. He wasn't great at expressing how he felt. He would tell me that he felt vulnerable and a bit uncomfortable.

These days, he embraces his vulnerability. We both trust each other. He comes to me when he needs to talk. The feeling is mutual.

After sex, we both are in a lethargic, relaxed state. We say the most fun things afterwards. The other day, my guy ended up singing. That's nothing unusual.

"I'm here! I'm here!" he sang to me.
"I know. You're next to me," I said, sweetly kissing him.
"I'm here! You're here!" he said, in a dopey voice.
"You're here. Me, too," I said.

He's sweet when he is in this state. I just want to hug him even more.

HR leads to a fast, enjoyable handjob

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Revealing that you like spanking - an article

I remember when my guy told me that he liked me and wanted to be with me. He was away in Portugal and we chatted on Skype. It was a sweet conversation.

The next time we chatted, we talked about sex and he asked me what I was interested in. I didn't really know how he would feel about my liking to spank and be spanked. He was okay once I told him and it has been wonderful that he loves to spank me.

I found this article about finding the courage to share what fetish you are interested in with your partner. I can relate. It does, however, feel so good when you reveal that you like spanking. Everything seems to fall into place. The self-inflicted pressure seems to melt away.

Y is for yandwich

My guy's first name starts with the letter y. My guy looks sweet, adorable, and at peace when he sleeps.

When we first shared a bed together in St. Louis a few years ago (he was there for work and I took a week of vacation), I noticed that my guy sleeps resting his head on a pillow, and places another one on top of his head. It's endearing. It's also clever because the pillow on top of his head blocks out both the light and sound.

Because it looks like he has two slices of bed cradling his head, I have deemed his pillow method of sleeping to be the Yandwich.

In Montreal, on our last morning together before I drove home, my guy slept with the top pillow off his head for a brief period. To me, it was only fitting to call that the open-faced Yandwich.

B is for bizarre business sign

It is day 2 of the Blogging Challenge - Spanking from A to Z. I had a post already in mind for today's theme that starts with the letter b. I have to put that on hold. I need to see if I can use another letter for that one.

Sunday tends to be my only day off in any week these days. Work is crazy, so I end up working a six-day week.

Well, I went out yesterday to run a few errands. I voted at an advanced poll in Ontario's provincial election. I grabbed a bit of lunch. I then drove to Staples to pick up an item that I had ordered.

I was stopped at this intersection in my city. There is construction going on at this major intersection, so cars need to either turn left or right. I am in the right turn lane. This sign caught my eye:

Um, okay. I am technically on Main Street. That's great news that the main ass is open. Who is the main ass? Are you talking to me?! Is my main ass available for multiple spankings and no one told me about it?

I also found it appropriate that there is a blue sign telling you where the local hospital is. I think the main ass will need some medical attention with the volume of traffic in the area. That main ass will be pretty sore.

B is for bizarre. Who says that my city is dull?!