My mom chewing and spitting out her food

I keep seeing my mom change these days. Her memory is on the decline. She says hi to me multiple times within a five-minute span. She has incontinence issues and often doesn't know whether she needs to relieve herself.

As of late, I've noticed that she chews her food and spits it out. I don't know if she has now forgotten how to swallow or if she physically can't swallow solid food.

She is fine with drinking fluids. The worst case scenario would be to blend her foods and have her drink shakes.

She will chew fruit and spit it out. It's more textured foods that she doesn't seem to swallow.

It has been interesting. I can see how frustrated my dad is with her. It's a challenge to say the least.

My mom and her memory

I haven't been writing a whole lot here. I don't think it's because I have nothing to write about or that I'm lazy.

I haven't felt the need to write anything just yet.

It's likely because I'm still processing things. Trying to come to grips with my mom's memory loss is one of them.

She often opens and closes the front door. She'll bolt the door with the security chain lock without remembering that either my dad or I are about to return to the house. It's weird.

She will also open and close the washroom door on the main floor. It's a bit difficult to tell whether she needs to use the washroom and forgets to walk through the door, or if it's the same habit that she has with the front door.

Last Monday, she fell down in the washroom. My dad and I had to help get her off the floor. Thankfully, she doesn't fall down often. When she does, it's a bit scary. Luckily, she was fine.

Getting a compliment that I'm thin

Last Wednesday, I was doing my usual grocery store run after work. There was a woman taking up the middle of an aisle while looking at something. I wanted to get past her, so I could stand behind her. We were both waiting to pay for our items at the checkout.

I was my usual self by excusing myself to get through. I indicated that I didn't want to plow through and hit her. She was nice. We struck up a conversation.

She was telling me that during this pandemic, she has consumed way too much chocolate and that she was chocolate. She wished that she was as "thin as [I was]." She was so sweet!

I am not known to be thin. However, I'm thinking that my cutting out sugar has made a dent in how I look. I know that I feel much better and I tend to sleep better these days. My pants aren't as snug when I wear them. I thanked her for making my day.

She had a lot of items in her cart. I had a handful. I passed by her on my way out the door and she waved to me. I wished her a good evening.

It's nice meeting friendly folks, especially during a pandemic!

My mom and her memory loss

For years, I have witnessed my mom's memory deteriorate. Yesterday, it took quite a dip that has left a lasting impression on me.

My mom talked to me and said that there was some man living in the same house. I had no idea who or what she was talking about.

This man was my dad. She didn't know that he was my mom's husband.

I said that this man was her hubby. She then replied that she didn't know that she was married. I asked her how I was born without a dad. She simply didn't know.

It was quite telling. However, when I asked her if she knew who I was, she immediately said both my first and last names.

It's such a shame seeing a great memory slowly deteriorate. It makes me a bit nervous, as I have a similar memory, I hope that I don't follow this same path.

I'm not sure how to deal with memory loss. Here's to more research. Perhaps having her look at old photos may be helpful. Then again, I don't want to frustrate her if she can't remember who the folks are in them.

A haircut and a horny ex

I finally got my hair cut on Saturday. It has been six months since I last had it cut.

My theory holds true. For the last three months that I have been working from home, I have had my hair tied back in a ponytail. Both my hair's length and the fact that I had it tied back caused a lot of hair loss. Throw in some stress and it got worse.

Tonight, with my much shorter hair, I washed it. My hair loss is significantly less thus far. Yay!

After I wrote my post last night, I got a series of texts from the ex-guy. He was horny.

I haven't responded to him. I have nothing to say other than it was his loss for letting me go.

Hair loss

Years ago, when I was stressed over my mom's stroke, I lost a significant amount of hair on my head. It was scary. Most of my hair grew back, thankfully.

These days, I am losing more hair than I usually do. I am stressed and anxious. I have a feeling that the latter is a vicious cycle. I'm anxious about my hair loss, which has continued because I'm stressed out.

Well, I have concluded that my hair loss isn't due to my anxiety or stress. It's likely a combination of my hair's regular growth cycle and the fact that I have been trying my hair back every day.

When I used to head to the office, I wore my hair down. Since I've been working from home for over three months, I only have my hair down after washing it and when I am asleep.

Lately, I have been letting my hair breathe by wearing it down more. Sure enough, my hair loss has lessened.

A small detail like letting my hair down makes such a huge difference.

Losing jobs before Christmas is sad

It's always sad to hear about colleagues and people losing their jobs. It's even worse when it's just before Christmas.

The biggest news story just east of where I live is that General Motors (GM) has decided to close its Oshawa plant in 2019, which means that all workers at this plant will be unemployed. It's sad, as Oshawa is the home of so many GM employees who moved to this city to work.

I used to have a Pontiac Grand Am. I thought that my next car would be a Pontiac G6 until the entire Pontiac line got canned. GM hasn't fully recovered since the late 2000's.

This week, my company found out that pink slips have been issued to folks out of our Montreal office. On my team, we are losing three decent people, two of whom I have met and trained. It's just a sad situation and I can only offer to help if they need any references from me.

It sucks that they are losing their jobs right before Christmas.

Groping and being observant of my weight loss

In the parking lot of the Chinese restaurant, my guy saw a car parked in the lot that looked just like mine. He told me that he headed over there and noticed that it didn't have an M&M's cap on the gear shift. Moments later, he saw my car and headed over.

After we unlocked from our tender kiss, we headed over to the restaurant. We waited to be seated. He quietly groped my left buttock again.

"That's my butt," I said to him.
"Yes. I love it," he admitted.

We sat down and looked at the menu. He looked over at me, as it has been a long time since we last saw each other.

"Have you lost weight?" he asked me.
"Yes, I have. My pants are looser than they were a couple of months ago," I admitted.
"It shows," he said.
"Can you still see me?" I joked.
"Yes, I can. You're cuter than ever," he said.

He's sweet. He is the only person who notices such subtle weight changes that I go through.

Short weekends and accurate menstrual cycles

Weekends are not long enough. This one went by incredibly quickly.

When I first went on a low-carb diet and lost at least thirty pounds several years ago, my menstrual cycle became regular. Since my first period, each one after that was irregular. I could go for months or even a year before my next one.

Since losing a grand total of sixty pounds, my period has been monthly, with the occasional missed month each year.

Recently, I went back to being on a tighter low-carb diet. Sure enough, my period is even more accurate. It's every thirty days instead of a month, plus or minus a week. I find it interesting that my hormones are more balanced.

Here's to more observations as I continue being on my low-carb regimen.

Periods - noting details and scheduling sex

It's that time of the month. Both my guy and I were thankful that we had so much fun last week! This week is obviously a bit of a breather.

When I first got my menstrual cycle, I was twelve years old. I noticed within the first couple of years that it was abnormal. You're supposed to have one each month. Mine were unpredictable. For the first ten years, I could go a year without one, give or take a few months.

I recall going to my doctor. I had my thyroid checked. It was fine. I got hormone pills that helped start my period.

My periods were heavy. They lasted six to seven days.

When it came to sex, it was nice that I didn't have regular periods. I could engage in sex often. I am not sure if my lack of a normal menstrual cycle ended up heightening my sex drive.

Roughly five years ago, I lost sixty pounds. To this day, I am proud of this achievement. I have been able to maintain it ever since.

What came with this weight loss was a regular menstrual cycle. These days, I can accurately predict when it is going to happen, unless I am stressed that it gets missed. I also missed my period for a month after I had back surgery.

I didn't do my regular exercise regimen last weekend for a couple of days. Whenever I skip exercising, my cramping is the worst. Yesterday, my cramps were bad. Luckily, ibuprofen works for me.

The other thing that tips me off that my period is about to happen is a dull ache in my lower back. Yesterday, it was pretty bad. Again, ibuprofen seems to help here, too.

The good news is that my cramping and lower back ache last for roughly 24 hours. I will be fine when I wake up on Friday.

Oh, and my periods these days aren't as heavy as they used to be. They also last for five days, at most.

It's amazing how hormones and my body work. I asked my doctor and she said that my weight loss ended up balancing my hormones.

My guy is sweet. He finds that I don't go into an I-hate-the-world type of mentality when my period hits. Rather, I seem more at peace. It's a bit strange, but he's correct.

He always asks whether it's okay to spank me when I am on my period. I am fine with it once my cramping goes away. I also insist of being spanked over my pants or whatever I am wearing.

Technically, it's not really a quiet week when I have my period. Spankings continue. We just take a break when it comes to sexual intercourse. I also like focusing on him by giving him a handjob or blowjob, depending on what he would like.

It's all good.

Opening my 2011 time capsule and reflecting on my life then

I am on vacation till mid-week next week. It has been nice to sleep in and not deal with work-related issues.

I have been cleaning up around the house. I opened a box with tons of magazines and photos. It felt like I was opening a time capsule of sorts.

Most of the items in this box are from 2011. This particular year is significant for a number of reasons:

• I went on a cruise in February and decided to change my eating habits, which led to my losing sixty pounds. I have kept it off ever since.
• I injured my back in August, which required back surgery in late October.
• My guy dropped hints that he liked me in September. We started dating in mid-October.

This box contained a few articles of clothing that are now way too big on me. I washed them last night and am ready to donate them.

I also found a number of magazines that I had subscribed to back then. Within recent years, I decided to cancel all my subscriptions, as they were a complete waste of paper. Many of these magazines were still in their own plastic wrap, in pristine condition.

It has been nice to read each issue. I have been reading a lot lately. I have missed reading for pleasure rather than for work.

Before my guy and I dated, he had visited India on a business trip and gave me a letter opener made of teak. It was also in this box.

On my cruise, I looked at a photo of me posing, barely on the ship for more than thirty minutes. I was at my heaviest weight. I looked happy in the photo, but I wasn't.

2011 was a whole bag of mixed emotions. It ended nicely, with a sweet guy who wanted to be with me at my worst state.

He has stuck by me ever since. I have supported him with challenges that were tossed at him. We make a good support couple, among other things.

Costco and real Coke

My guy loves shopping at Costco. He called me tonight while walking on a treadmill at the gym.

"The new Costco is fifteen minutes away from my place if I walk there," he explained. "It opens in early November."
"That's great. You might as well live there. You can set up your bed with a new mattress and call it home," I replied.
"Shopping makes me happy," he admitted.
"I know. You get high on saving money," I said factually.

He loves talking to me while working out. He shared the results of his blood test. He knows that I have plenty of supportive suggestions to offer, as I have been there.

He is on a mission to reduce his sugar. His medication that he is on for depression spikes his sugar levels. He is doing well and has lost some weight.

We had a discussion about Diet Coke recently. When we first started dating, he told me that he'd take me to a movie and buy me real Coke instead of a generic cola.

"You can tell when a guy is really into you when he buys you real Diet Coke," he hinted.
"That's true. You are into me in more than one way," I said.

We both chuckled. So true.

Sharky, butt watches, diets, and circles

I have talked about a project manager at work who likes me. My guy has nicknamed him Sharky, because he often circles around the cubicle that I choose to sit at when I'm in the office.

Roughly four years ago, I decided out of a whim on a cruise to change my diet. I know that it sounds peculiar. You have all the food you can possible eat on a ship and you're on vacation. You decide to cut out carbs and sugar right then and there?

Yes, I did. It was pretty simple. There were sugar-free desserts. I went for low-carb items, rather than cutting carbs out completely.

Two weeks later, I was down ten pounds. I proceeded to lose a total of sixty pounds and have kept them off ever since. No pills. No weirdness. The challenge is a daily one, to maintain the weight.

My guy always marvels at the fact that I like baked goods, such as chocolate croissants, but I still manage to maintain my weight. It helps to have such goodies from time to time. It's okay to indulge. More importantly, I exercise, and eat fresh food as often as I can.

Anyway, when I was about halfway through my goal weight, I had a pair of jeans on that were loose. I knew that I needed to buy a belt.

I had to visit the women's washroom at work. I got up and went through two sets of doors. Sharky was behind me.

There was a glass door in front of me. I had to walk towards it and then make a left to get to the women's washroom. I could see from the reflection that Sharky was looking at me. In fact, he was looking at my butt. It was a nice, quiet compliment.

I told my guy about that a while back. He told me that any man would want to stare at my backside. He is just the lucky one who gets to grope, smack, and pinch it.

My guy's right. He doesn't have a jealous bone in his body, which is nice. He freely admits that any guy would want to have me, including Sharky. However, my guy knows that my heart is with him and the reverse is true, too.

Sharky isn't a shy guy. He does seem shy around me, though.

Last Friday, he was standing behind me when we were both ordering lunch from downstairs. He didn't say a word to me. I did when I turned around after he had placed his order.

My guy and I think that Sharky is being respectful, knowing that we are a couple. It's nice that he finds me attractive, but it's also a bit creepy when he does his circling routine or can find me anywhere in the office.

As for my guy, he likes to sweetly tell me that I am his. I am. And, he's my guy.