Slapping before drinking

I was just looking at some past posts that I had written. If you look at my archived posts, I didn't write anything in 2010. That year was hectic. I was wrapping up my graduate degree. I was going through a divorce. I simply didn't have anything interesting to say because spanking was on hold in my life.

Well, in 2011, I attended my graduation by flying to Atlanta, and then driving 1.5 hours south to get to the university campus. I stayed at my fellow graduate's home for the entire weekend. It was wonderful.

I was the oddball out of the entire group. I was the only straight person out of all of us. I didn't feel weird or anything -- just an observation.

We had been friends for three years. Graduate school brought us a lot closer. I remember the three of us (one guy, who just got married a few weeks ago) sitting on her couch and saying that if we all lived in the same city, that we would hang out often. I would have to agree. Thankfully, Facebook keeps us in touch.

Anyway, during our graduation weekend, we were all drinking. My friend was saying that it was a custom for her to slap a woman's butt before a drinking session, but she wasn't sure whether I would like that. I was exempted from this ritual. Little did she know what a huge turn-on that was for me then and still is!

She did land a few hard smacks across her girlfriend's bottom. I loved observing. I was secretly getting wet and aroused.

I should visit them again. Perhaps I should be a participant on the receiving end this time around.

Maks and my guy... are they related affection-wise?

I don't normally watch Dancing with the Stars, except when it's near the end of the season. This season, I didn't watch a single show.

I do watch Live! with Kelly and Michael religiously, though. The winners and runners-up were on the show on Wednesday. Maks reminds me of my guy when it comes to affection.

Although Maks and Meryl have not said in public that they are an item, the affection that they show each other is sweet.

Maks kisses Meryl's hand a couple of times. He sweetly kisses her head, which I love when my guy does that. Maks wraps his arms around her from behind like my guy does with me. I end up touching his arms, which Meryl does with Maks.

The sweetest part? Maks is asked to take his shirt off in front of the audience. My guy would never do that! Maks asks Meryl if it would be okay. She gives him the nod -- permission -- and he does. My guy always asks if it is okay with me before he does something.

I wonder whether Maks and my guy are related. Well, maybe not... my guy doesn't have any tattoos and doesn't dance. That's okay by me. He's sweet to me and that's what counts.

I miss him. Just over two weeks seems like a long time before I see him.

Cock worshipping subs, and being down on hands and knees

I have a link from my blog to the Cock Worshipping Subs blog, which appears to be down. Did I miss something? If someone can let me know whether the site has moved or if it truly does not exist anymore, it would help this clueless girl out.

Yesterday on Instagram, Madonna posted this fine pose:

I am not crazy about her hairdo and the overdone Photoshop usage on her face. However, I love her stance, with someone (it is rumoured to be Katy Perry) holding a yummy leather implement. It would have been nice to have Madonna either in her panties or with them taken off, but it is for a magazine after all!

I have been in that pose before with my guy spanking me. I don't last too long. I need to be leaning on something, like a table or I simply need to be over his lap. I suppose it's because my spankings take more than five minutes.

Friday workday and dashing to look at tires

Last Friday was the last time that I would see my guy this month. He is on the road for the next three weeks.

After lunch on Friday, he told me that he wasn't sure when his seminar would be over. He said that he'd call me.

He didn't. He wasn't being rude. He hadn't forgotten. I had told him previously that I'd leave work at 15:00, simply because I work more hours than I should. With the entire team lagging behind with the work that we have to complete and with a surge of craziness that afternoon, I stayed at work till 17:00.

I decided to visit my guy. He was still in the training room. However, there were two developers with him and I wasn't sure whether the seminar was ongoing. My guy said that he had just finished half an hour ago. I said that work got hectic, so I ended up leaving later than normal.

I sat next to him to chat. The developers slowly left the room. My guy was looking for used tires online. I teased him when I saw more than twenty tabs open in his Chrome browser. It was fun teasing him. I eventually called him tire guy.

My guy made a call to one tire seller. They had arranged to meet at 19:00. That time meant that my guy had to leave.

"You'll be okay, right?" he asked me. I pouted. "That means yes."
"No, three weeks is a long time," I said, like a little girl.
"I'll call you. I promise," he reassured me.
"Okay, tire master!"

He looked back at me with a huge smile on his face. I caressed his head. We kissed and I watched him leave the room. He told me later that night that he got the tires. He would have to wait for a bit to get them installed on his car. He is still on the lookout for two more tires.

It's never a dull moment being with him. I have a feeling that it's true with me, too.

Good morning call and aftermath chat about my rear end

On Friday, my guy did the sweetest thing. To most, it wouldn't be a huge deal. It was to me.

I tend to get to the office by 08:30 when I am there in the mornings. I got a call at 09:05 from my guy, who was in the training room. He has never done that before.

The fact that my car was obviously in the parking lot tends to put him at ease and makes him happy. I noticed that he was in the office earlier than usual. He told me that he stayed at his friend's place overnight, which is closer to work than if he drove from his place. It also helped that many folks took Friday off, kicking off the long holiday weekend here, and made the morning drive to work a lot easier.

"Did you get enough beauty sleep? Well, you don't really need any. You're fine," I said to him.
"I woke up at my regular time of 07:00," he replied. I could tell that he was smiling, judging by the cheerful tone of his voice.

We talked some more. I am not sure exactly what we were talking about.

"Maybe I should flash them, to make the seminar is interesting," he said.
"Well, if you did that to me, I'd be very happy. However, to your attendees, you may not have a job after that," I explained.
"Are you by yourself upstairs?" he asked me.
"Nope," I said.
"Shouldn't you be careful about what you're saying?" he said, in his usual paranoid way when it comes to our private conversations in the workplace.
"Don't worry. All is fine."
"I do worry," he admitted.
"I know you do. It's okay."

My guy wished me a good day and said that he wanted to say good morning to me. I am glad that he did. I said that we'd talk later.

At lunch, he called me. He was waiting in his car in front of our office building. Minutes later, I waved to him while walking to his car and then got in.

I reassured him that all was okay with our conversation this morning. My colleague actually thought that I was talking to our other writer. My guy was fine after that statement, as I am comfortable talking to anyone.

"How's your rear end?" my guy asked, referring to our flogging session the other day.
"It's good now," I said. "The pain was immediate, lasted for a few hours, left some marks, but went away faster than I had thought it would. When you spank me hard, that pain lingers for a day or so. It's good. We should do it again."
"Sounds good," he said, smiling at me. "I was worried about you."

It's great that he's my best friend, my lover, and my disciplinarian. It all works nicely.

First experience with a USB cable as a flogging implement

On Wednesday, my guy and I had agreed to meet at our regular restaurant hangout at 12:45 pm. I got there just in time. My guy parked next to my car a few minutes later and honked to get my attention.

He looked good. He was wearing his new shirt that I had bought him. It fit perfectly. He told me that he loves it so much.

My guy apologized and said that he had a conference call during our lunch. I had asked why he didn't cancel. He didn't want to, for he has had to do that to me a number of times in the past and didn't want the stigma of cancelling on Wednesdays to build. It was sweet of him.

We ordered our food and briefly chatted before he went on his teleconference call. Luckily, it only lasted for half an hour. We got to chat more and he got to finish his lunch after it was over.

He asked me if I wanted to go downstairs. I could tell that he wanted to. I wanted a hug from him, so we did.

In our little corner, we hugged and kissed. I always get nervous when someone comes downstairs. Sure enough, someone did. I whispered to my guy that I was scared, like a little girl. He smiled and hugged me tighter. When the woman had closed the restroom door, we continued to kiss and hug.

My guy groped my buttocks. He then unzipped my pants and fingered me. It felt so good. I was so aroused. Moments later, I came and rested limp in my guy's arms. We hugged. I thanked him.

He went to wash up. I re-adjusted myself and went upstairs. I waited for my guy to return. He proceeded to pay for our lovely lunch and we walked out the door.

We both agreed that we wouldn't do lunch on Thursday. I had a 06:30 conference call and felt that it would be best to continue working from home. My guy had his Nexus interview across the street at lunch that day. Instead, I was going to be in the office on Friday. So, we rescheduled our lunch.

My guy looked down at the ground. We were standing in the parking lot, in front of our cars. There was a black cable. He picked it up.

"It's a black micro USB cable," I said.
"Yes," he replied. "I will have to see if it works."
"Yes, you need a spare one for your phone."
"I was thinking of using it as a whip and making red marks across your butt with it," he said, doubling the cable up and making a swish sound with it.

Although I don't like the thought of being whipped or flogged, whenever someone has a belt or a whip in one's hand, it turns me on thinking that it will be used on me.

I had asked my guy whether it would be okay to stop by the training room to chat after work. He told me that there was one software developer who hangs out there till the cows come home. Instead, my guy would give me a call if the coast was clear.

Well, after work, I decided to stop by anyway, I did have a work-related question for him. My guy had work-related questions for me, too. Sure enough, the software developer was there. I had met him previously. Luckily, the conversation between my guy and I lasted so long that the developer actually left the room and called it a day.

My guy offered me a bottle of water. We both walked over to the bottled water area, which was away from the hall camera. My guy groped my left buttock, which made me tingle and smile. He had a huge grin on my face.

He had to briefly leave the room to get something from his cubicle. He asked whether I could stick around for a bit. I was good with that.

Moments later, he came back with the black USB cable, which had carefully cleaned. He had doubled it up again in his hands.

"I need to use this cable on you," he said sternly.
"No, that's scary," I said, playfully acting scared.

My guy dimmed the lights. He brought his laptop over to the corner.

"You are going to be punished in that corner," he told me, pointing at the back of the room.
"No, you can't make me!" I said in protest, while I reluctantly followed him.

My guy set his laptop down on the desk. He then grabbed my right wrist, which was nice having him play the part of the strict disciplinarian.

"Get in that corner and face it," he ordered, leading me over there with a bit of force.
"You're mean!"

He started flogging me with the USB cable. This experience was new to both of us. He started flogging my hips, which hurt. I don't have as much padding up there as I used to. I had to tell him to flog me lower, as that is where the fleshy part of me is. I told him to flog me as if he were spanking me. He finally got the hang of it.

"That hurts," I said, rubbing my buttocks with my hands when we had a bit of a pause. 

My guy took my right arm and held it behind the small of my back. He continued to flog me.

"It hurts!"
"Shut up! You deserve it. You are such a bad girl."

It was a fun session of getting flogged. He intermittently played with my crotch and wanted me to climax, but stopped and flogged me some more.

He did eventually allow me to climax, which was awesome. He then hugged me from behind and played with my breasts. I love when he does that.

It was my first time being flogged. It hurt. I was rubbing my buttocks a lot. My guy got concerned and rubbed my cheeks for me. He apologized, being the true gentleman that he is.

Before we left the room, we hugged. I thanked him. He kissed me on both sides of my face. He kissed both my hands. He then placed both his hands on my cheeks and gave me a wonderful kiss.

We packed up. My guy nearly forgot his laptop. I had to remind him to bring it with him, which he did. We left the office. I drove home with a sore backside.

I looked at my bare bottom when I got home. I had some nice marks from our session. The soreness didn't last as long as a good, hard spanking does. I could like this mild flogging. I have to explore it some more.

Downstairs... or downstairs?

This past Monday was a day that I didn't dread. My guy was in the office. I was, too. We both like Mondays when we are both at the office. My guy confided in me at lunch time that he was thrilled to see my car in the parking lot when he got to the office by 09:20.

At 12:30, I got a predictable call from my guy. He had a cheerful tone to his voice. We both sounded cheerful, likely because we were both happy to hear each other on the phone.

My guy said that he would be waiting for me in his car. He is such a gentleman. He insists on driving me to and from places.

I got in his car and noticed how quiet his car was, as opposed to the last time that I was a passenger in it. He told me that his mechanic had adjusted a few belts.

I reached for my guy's hand. I missed touching him and missed his touch. He looked content holding my hand.

My guy had to stop at the bank to withdraw some money. I asked whether I could drive his car. He shook his head to indicate that I should be a good girl.

Several months ago, I endearingly called him Cheap Bastard. My guy is frugal. It was funny that he referred to himself as that -- yep, in third person.

I had finally remembered to bring his gift with me. I had visited Atlantic City for a few days weeks ago and ended up at an outlet mall. My guy has a nice selection of brown shirts, thanks to my stumbling on a store that has nice shirt and carries brown ones. Well, I went back to this store and found a brown-and-white-striped shirt. It was different. I had to get it for him.

We were parked in the lot. My guy asked if he could have his present. He had asked me what I had got him earlier. I said that I had got him stuff. He proceeded to ask me how many gifts I had for him. Well, it was just one item, but two items if you count the paper bag.

My guy playfully grabbed my left nipple and played with it. I liked that. It has been a while. I gave him his present. He loved his new shirt. He observed the buttons on the collar, the left pocket, the regular fit, and how different the stripes were. He loved it all. I was so pleased at how happy he was with his new shirt.

We got the restaurant and ordered food. We talked and laughed. It seemed like little time had passed between us. I ordered my usual chicken chow mein dish. He went for the teriyaki chicken dish that he loves so much.

After we were done eating, my guy asked me if I wanted to go downstairs with him. Downstairs at this restaurant is where the restrooms are. It is also where we have enjoyed tucking ourselves in a small corridor to make out and more in the past. I knew that he was in a better mood these days. I said that it was good.

We both went downstairs. We kissed. It has been ages since we kissed that passionately. I got to caress his head and wrap my arms around him. He hugged me, groped my buttocks, and then played with my crotch. I had missed his touch.

"I wish that I could spank you properly," he whispered in my ear.

Just that statement alone got me aroused instantly. He played with me until I came. I felt dopey. I hugged and thanked him.

"Can you carry me upstairs now?" I asked, in a little girl's voice. 

He adjusted my pants and make sure that I was okay. We then went upstairs together.

My guy paid for lunch. I thanked him, as usual. He doesn't mind treating me to lunch. He always tells me that he enjoys my company.

We got in his car and headed back to the office. I couldn't help but to caress his head while stopped at a stop light.

"I need a replica of your perfectly shaped head, so that I can caress it while you are away," I said.
"We can have that done," he stated confidently.
"We need one that talks like you. Maybe I can program your replica to get me a hot dog, because the real you won't get me one."

My guy slapped the side of my left thigh a few times and told me that I was a bad girl. He hasn't done that to me for a while. I liked that a lot. So did he.

It was a perfect day.

Flight, hand-holding, lunch, and chatter

A week ago, my guy got off his flight from India, took a cab across the street to the office, called me from the lobby, and picked me up in front of the door, waiting to drive me to our local hangout for lunch. It was good seeing him again. He looked good, despite the long flight to get here.

I reached for his hand. We held hands as he drove us to the restaurant, chatting and laughing along the way. He has always liked how affectionate I am. He showed me how playful he can be, too.

East Indian food doesn't agree with him. He was thrilled to have Chinese food again. He ordered his favourite dish, eggplant with shrimp. He can eat eggplant all day. I just like how purple it is. I had lemon chicken.

At one point, my guy was talking about something, which made me shake my head in disbelief. He playfully messed up my hair. I liked it. I asked if I could touch his head. He let me caress it. It was nicely shaven.

We caught up with various topics. We laughed. It was a nice outing. I knew that he was tired. I was so happy to see him. He felt the same way about me.

I had forgotten to give him a gift that I had purchased in New Jersey. I had left it in my desk drawer at work. He is old-fashioned to a certain extent. He always feels like the guy should be showing his sweetie with gifts and that I shouldn't feel obligated to give him anything. I simply like showering him with gifts, too.

He was sweet to give me a gift from India. It was a wooden, hand-crafted box with silver elephants all around it. I loved it. He's thoughtful that way.

He told me that I looked cute. I teased him that he was still jet lagged, but I knew that he had meant it. He's sweet.

He was kind to pay for lunch, as he always does. We held hands as he drove me back to the office. I told him to drive safely home. He assured me that we'd keep in touch, as he was working from home for the rest of the week while flipping his biological clock back to Eastern time.

I was relieved to see him. To hear his voice. To touch him. To hold him. To have him back home. It means a lot.

Packing, kissing, and fondling

This post is a continuation of my last one.

After my guy's session was over, the seminar group wanted to take pictures, to commemorate their time. I offered to take pictures of the entire group.

One of the folks had a Samsung Galaxy phone. I can't recall whether it was the S3 or S4. I have fiddled around with the former that I knew my way around it. Her phone felt different, so it could have been the latter model.

Anyway, I snapped one picture of the group and wanted to take another. Her phone froze. I literally had to quit the camera application and relaunch it. My guy was impressed that I had figured it out. He told me later that he would have panicked.

I got a rather older camera model from another person. He thought that I may have trouble with it, but I was okay with taking the group photo. He seemed impressed with me.

It was my guy's camera that caused me some problems. First, it was in video mode. Second, it is such a tiny camera. I have no idea how he can take pictures with it, because my hands seem so large trying to hold it. My guy's hands are even larger than mine. Eventually, I got around to snapping the picture.

As a group, we said goodbye to one another. My guy and I then went up to his cubicle. We are moving to a new building in a few months. My guy decided to gradually move some of his stuff home.

We talked as he packed away various items. We both realized how many gifts we give each other. He had bought me gifts from Madrid and remembered to give them to me. Two were purple-coloured items. The first was a purple case for my phone that was shaped as a cassette tape. I loved it. I immediately installed it on my phone. The other was a purple change purse that was made of silicone. It was pretty.

My guy started to offload gifts. He had a nice marble figurine of an elephant from a previous trip to India. The top part of it has broke off, and he was reluctant to give it to me. There was a baby elephant inside the mother. It was sweet. He also fed me chocolate.

He looked at me. We were both standing up. We hugged. I caressed his head. He looked around and wondered whether there were any new cameras installed.

We walked over to the nearest conference room and closed the door. We hugged some more. We kissed, which meant a lot and felt so good. He groped my buttocks and rubbed his crotch against mine.

He played with my sweater. He moved it off to one shoulder, which revealed my black bra strap. He thought that I looked so good to him.

He gently guided me to the wall and had me lean against it. He unbuttoned my jeans and fondled my crotch area. He couldn't resist and fingered me. It felt so good. It had been such a long time since he made me climax. I did. I hugged him and told him that I loved him. He told me so sweetly that I was his loveable girl.

He wasn't done. He decided to finger my backdoor, too. It was quite the moment. I felt relaxed and happy. I zipped up my pants once I had enough strength to do it. He stared at me for the longest time and said that I looked really good.

We cleaned ourselves up and came back to his desk. I saw him pack some more stuff up before we left.

He reassured me that we'd talk on Skype while he was away for the next two weeks. I wished him a safe trip.

It was indeed a Good Friday.

Lunch, gingering, and figging

I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my guy before he left for India for a couple of weeks ago. Our company had Good Friday off as a statutory holiday. Unfortunately, my guy had to work that day. He was holding a seminar at the office.

It has been such a hectic period at work that I had completely forgot about this holiday. I didn't have any plans for the Easter long weekend. I asked my guy if I could have lunch that day with him and join his seminar. He was good with that. We could then spend some quality time together afterwards.

We both came to the realization that all the office food places would also be closed.

The day before Good Friday, my guy and I were eating at our usual hangout. We asked whether the Chinese restaurant would be open the following day (we both knew the answer to that question, but wanted to know what time the restaurant would be open). My guy and I decided that we would drive everyone to the restaurant in our cars. There were six guests in total, so our two cars could seat everyone just fine.

I met everyone on Good Friday. We got along just fine. I tend to be comfortable talking in large group settings these days. It's probably because I am on teleconferences so often that I don't mind talking at all. We headed to the restaurant, had yummy food, exchanged a number of stories and jokes, and had a good time.

My guy insisted that he pay for my lunch. He is sweet that way. He even got the server to box my remaining Hakka chicken chow mein. Since it was a holiday, the lunch specials were not available. We all ended up ordering dinner-sized portions, so I got leftovers.

We got back to the training room and I attended the session, cracking jokes along with my guy while he was sharing his information with the group. My guy and I work well together. We feed off each other's wacky senses of humour.

My guy had ginger chicken for lunch. He had to burp.

"Sorry, guys. It's a byproduct of ginger chicken," he apologized.
"Should we move away from you?" I asked him. I was a couple of feet away from him.
"It hasn't reach the other end," he said, grinning.
"That is too much information!" I exclaimed, which made everyone laugh.
"I don't have to hit the washroom and do any gingering," he stated, with a continuation of laughter ensuing.

Yes, my guy now equates gingering to pooping. Weird.

We had a chat last week. I told him that gingering is related to figging. I explained the idea of peeling a ginger nub, and inserting it up one's butthole. He asked me whether I wanted to try it while spanking me. I didn't think that it would arouse me as much as simply being spanked. This notion, however, intrigued him.

"It's different how I am sharing with you a sexual practice that you are unfamiliar with. You normally share that sort of stuff with me," I stated.
"It's good," he replied.

It was sheer coincidence that his definition of gingering is closely related to what gingering truly means.

Spanking A to Z challenge

I did the unthinkable.

I saw Renee Rose's post about participating in the spanking A to Z challenge and signed up for it. I didn't ponder about it for excruciating long periods. It sounded great to me, so I signed up immediately.

This challenge will prompt me to blog more frequently. It's also something different. So, I am completely up for this fun challenge!

I hope that you will read along in June as I go through the alphabet and choose a theme based on the letter of the day. I'd appreciate your continued support. Here's to blogging!

A list of fine participants follow. You can also sign up, too!

Instagram conjuring up good spanking memories

I came across this photo a few weeks ago. I have been a fan of Madonna since I was a teenager. These days, I am not as much as a diehard fan as I used to be. It is probably because her last album, MDNA, didn't do much for me.

I do like Instagram. I am an avid photographer. When I travel, I either have my digital SLR or my phone with me, depending on where I am going. For concerts, I can't bring such a large camera with me. Taking pictures on my phone is fun, but the quality doesn't compare to a real camera. I digress, though.

Anyway, I follow Madonna on Instagram and liked this photo:

When she released "Hanky Panky," I loved it. I was a teenager who liked the thought of giving and receiving birthday spankings. I wanted to be spanked, but did not have anyone to confide in.

I was still in high school when "Justify My Love" came out. I didn't understand bondage completely, but have always been aroused by having my hands tied while being spanked. These days, I am fortunate to have a guy who loves to spank me and to hold my hands down while he continues to punish me.

Travel, epost, and a spanking threat

I am getting back into the swing of things. I haven't written much lately. It's partly because it's difficult to write about anything when my guy hasn't been his cheerful self. Being depressed does that to anyone. He is improving, which is encouraging.

We both have been travelling these days. Yesterday, he returned from a two-week business trip in India. I took a few days off from work and went to Atlantic City. My guy can't handle the spices in various East Indian dishes. I will write about those episodes in another post.

He called me on Skype a couple of times on Sunday. I decided to sleep in, eventually waking up at 10:00. It's weird, but I must have known somehow that he had wanted to contact me.

I eventually got out of bed and walked into the den. I was logged on to Skype overnight. He said hi through a text at 10:00. He then tried again a minute before I got to my phone, wondering whether I had decided to hit a bakery early Sunday morning. It makes my day when he says hi like that. I texted him back. Moments later, we were on Skype chatting away.

His mood is a lot brighter these days. He isn't completely out of the dark, though. He told me that he wanted to delete his porn collection. I have never objected to his collection. Frankly, we often watch them together. He used to get off watching them. Being depressed, he simply doesn't care much for them and felt that deleting everything would be good.

It's kind of sad in that he first shared various videos with me when we were first dating. However, I still have fond memories of us watching them. Instead, when we are together in the same city, we watch regular movies while we cuddle together. It's not all that bad!

He asked me a work-related question just before we ended our conversation. I told him that I had forwarded an e-mail about how to get your pay stubs to automatically go to your epost account months ago. I said in an exasperated voice that I had to do more work for him and that he was too lazy to check his e-mail.

"How about I take you to lunch tomorrow, after I land at the airport and get to the office?" he asked me.
"But, you're always nice to treat me to lunch," I replied.
"How about I give you a big kiss?" he asked, upping the ante.
"Okay. But, what if I say no?"
"You can't say no. I'd have to punish you."
"We'll see. I'm safe for now."

I like when he threatens to spank me. It makes my entire day.

My guy is back for a bit

It has been weeks since my guy and I have seen each other. Although he is still battling depression, I continue to see signs of improvement.

He wrote to me on Sunday night. He initiated writing the e-mail, asking whether I wanted to do lunch with him on Monday. He remembered that I am in the office for the entire day on Mondays. He also said that he would call me at 12:30 pm to confirm.

They may not seem like huge details to most. They are to me. He didn't feel like writing or talking to me weeks ago. He wasn't interested in doing anything social. He wanted to be alone. He also didn't want to give me a call. He preferred to communicate with me through Skype messaging if he felt like it.

I wrote back, saying that I would meet him downstairs in the lobby. He bettered that. He was waiting for me in his car, which was just outside the main doors of our office building. It was gusty outside. I walked out of the building and felt like I was being blown away. I opened the passenger door, which seemed to just swing viciously open. Getting in his car and shutting the door felt like a chore.

He immediately placed a gift on my lap. He is thoughtful. We talked the whole way to our usual hangout -- the Chinese restaurant up the road. I admired his yellow-and-brown-striped shirt that he had bought from Costco while in St. Louis. This city is special to the both of us. It was our first trip together. It was the first time where we slept together in the same bed. It wasn't a treehouse setting when we made love. We had a lot of fun there.

We walked into the restaurant, sat down, and ordered our meals. I asked if it was okay for me to open my gifts. He got me a flat, purple wallet. I tend to like anything that is purple, but a flat wallet is nice in that it forces me to not have as many plastic cards in it. He included a slice of iced lemon pound cake from Starbucks that I love. Unfortunately, Starbucks in Canada does not offer it. As a result, it becomes an imported delicacy. He also got some nice chocolates. He is equally as sweet.

We chatted and laughed. We enjoyed teasing each other. He was in a cheerful mood. I told him that he was definitely happier than I last remember him being. He agreed.

After lunch, we headed back to his car. He was stopped in the parking lot and about to make a right turn. I remarked at how perfect his head was and wanted to caress it. He always laughs, but loves when I caress his head, especially when it has been shaved. So, he took off his hat and I indulged. He laughed, but we both know that we enjoy it. It's a sign of affection.

We made it back to work. We were both happy. All is well.

Dream a little spanking dream

When I am more stressed than I should be, I tend to dream often. It is a mini revelation on my part.

I don't recall the circumstance behind (pun intended) having a man over my lap in my dream. I couldn't tell you who he was. My dream only focused on looking at his bare bottom right in front of me.

His butt was cute. It was a bit fuzzy. It was more peach-fuzzy than hairy. I couldn't resist and started to smack each cheek. The smacks weren't hard ones. However, I was spanking him for a long period, to the point where his cheeks turned nice shades of pink.

I woke up. I was horny and content. It then occurred to me that the cute butt that I was spanking in my dream was that of my guy.

It's interesting. Whenever I miss my guy (this week, he was on business for a couple of days in Missouri), I tend to dream about him. I have given him lovetaps in the past, but have never spanked him over my knee. Could there be an underlying reason for my spanking him in my dream that I am unaware of?

I am a switch when it comes to spanking. I haven't delivered a spanking for a long time. I tend to be on the receiving end and love it these days. I wonder if my dream is suggesting that I should try and ease my guy into the idea of having his backside playfully spanked now and again.

Coincidentally, once I was fully awake and alert, I checked my e-mail. My guy had written to me. I wonder if the dream foreshadowed my guy wanting to communicate with me.

I get to see him on Monday, which will be wonderful. In this case, reality will better than this dream!

Chatting and being good

I had one of the best chats in weeks with my guy last Friday. He was in Brussels for business for a week and we connected on Skype.

As you know, my guy is going through a bout of depression. Our conversation last Friday felt great -- like every good chat tends to be. We talked about what happened in our day or week, joked, teased each other, and conversed about what was on our minds.

He told me that he was happy. I could tell from his tone that he was. It was definitely an encouraging sign.

The last part of our conversation was great:

"Well, it's midnight here, so I should go to bed and get up in about six hours to catch my flight. You be good, okay?" he said, which I haven't heard in a long time.
"Being good is difficult for me," I said.
"I know," he replied. "That's why I always have to remind you."
"You always tell me that I'm a bad girl, so being good isn't easy."
"You know what happens to bad girls like you, right?"

I do. I hope that he will do something about it to this bad girl.

"Be good," he signed off.
"I'll try."

I will try not to!

Lunch, gifts, and e-mails

My guy's birthday was last Thursday. It wasn't the birthday that I had planned to spend with him, in light of his recurring bout with depression.

I didn't think it was suitable to hint giving him a birthday spanking or for me to receive his birthday spanking. He has no interest in physical, fun activity these days. I touch his thigh, caress his head, hug him, and hold his hand. He likes all that still. However, he doesn't initiate such contact, which is a part of having depression. You have a loss for interests that you once had.

I insisted that we go out for lunch on Wednesday and Thursday. I feel that it's important to have him out doing something and to engage in a decent conversation over food with someone, which just happened to be me.

I have a pretty good memory when it comes to dates. He is never surprised when I remember his birthday. I don't have it written down anywhere. He doesn't post his birthdate on Facebook or other social media sites. I simply remember the date.

We walked into the restaurant together, with my bringing his gifts in a blue bag. We sat down at a table. He had to visit the men's room. Of course, one of the servers knows us so well at the restaurant. We are regulars. She asked whether I was getting another gift from him. She remembered that he got me castanets the previous day. I told her that today was his turn to receive gifts. She figured out that it was his birthday.

My guy returned to the table. I presented him with his goodies, which was his Valentine's Day and birthday gifts. My guy has been travelling often that I never got around to giving the former gift to him until last week.

I gave him truffles and a travel router for Valentine's Day. This router is amazing, for it acts like a hotspot when you are in a European hotel, for example, and only get an Internet connection for a single device. You can connect a number of devices to your router and you're one happy, connected person. I used mine in Frankfurt recently, which worked wonders. It also doubles as a battery, so you can charge your cell phone or tablet with it.

For his birthday, I got him a Clarisonic Mia 2. I have owned a Mia for a few years now and love it! My guy first saw me using it when we were in St. Louis together. He didn't freak out when he saw cleanser all over my face while using the brush. I looked like a ghost with a round face. He said that I looked cute. He has been intrigued by this device for a while. I decided to get him it.

He immediately perked up at the gifts. He actually took the cleansing brush out of the box to take a look at all the components. He was so happy.

I can tell that his mood is improving a bit. He wrote to me on Friday, saying thanks for the gifts. He said that he loves them on the phone when I spoke to him on Sunday. He wrote to me today to say that he brought it on his business trip to Brussels and loves it.

It's amazing what communication and thoughtfulness can do for a depressed person. He is not out of the woods, but he is making decent progress. The fact that he wants to write me e-mails is encouraging.

On the phone yesterday, I started to tease him. He sounded like his normal self by threatening to make me stop teasing him for being cell phone-challenged. It was nice. It's a great sign.

Sticking it out

The it in the title isn't meant to be a tongue-and-cheek innuendo of sorts. It is kind of clever if it were!

My guy and I met for lunch on Wednesday. His mood was much better. He says that he always smiles when he sees me. I think that I made him laugh a lot.

Our conversation over lunch was a good one. It took him a bit longer to get into his normal chatty self, but it was definitely a better conversation than we had on Monday.

What probably improved the quality was that I took the time out on Tuesday afternoon to write to him and share my insight on my experience battling depression. More importantly, I told him that I wanted to support him and to be there for him if he wanted to talk. I told him that I love him and admired how strong he was to tell me that he was depressed.

Although he is depressed and has lost his interest in a number of areas, including engaging in sex, I can tell that he still loves me. He knew that there was a heat draft directly under our table at the restaurant and suggested that we move, because I am a warm-bodied person. I told him that it was okay. My guy gets cold. I could simply roll up my sleeves if I started to feel warm.

He looked at my beige sweater and asked if it was new. I told him that he has seen it before, but I haven't worn it for a while. I had to remind him that he once told me that my erect nipple was showing underneath it. That detail jogged his mind. He remembered the breeze that day. I told him that he was the cause of my nipple getting all excited. My sweater was also larger on me than I had last remembered. He told me that larger is a good thing. I asked whether he was truly talking about sweaters, which made us both laugh.

He surprised me with a gift from Madrid. He got me castanets. He showed me how to place the strings on my thumbs and to try them out. It was a lot of fun. I felt like a lobster or crab for a bit.

After work, I headed to my car. His car was still there. I decided to lock my laptop bag in my car and to head to the training room. I dropped by to visit him. We had a decent chat about our day.

I asked him if I could give him a hug. He liked that. It was a nice twenty-second hug.

"Thank you, sweetness," he whispered in my right ear.
"I think that you need one," I replied.

After we unlocked from our embrace, he looked at me, with a huge smile on his face. I touched his face and was pleased that he was smiling on his own. He told me that I am still so sweet.

Baby steps. It will take a while for him to get out of his depressed state. All I can do is to be there and support him while he battles out of it.

FetLife

I joined FetLife years ago. I am not sure why I did in the first place, other than the fact that I wanted to befriend other folks out there who like spankings.

The last time that I had logged on to this site was four years ago. Recently, I got a chat request from someone. I got an e-mail alert and decided to log on.

You would think that after so many years that I would neither remember my username, nor my password. I remembered them both on the first try. It was as if I had logged on yesterday.

The person who wrote to me was nice. We are chatting back and forth, trying to understand what we are both into while getting to know one another.

Would I ever want to be spanked by someone whom I am not dating? I have never thought about that till now.

Although I miss being spanked these days, I am just not in the right frame of mind to explore that avenue. I would rather have my guy spank me. In the meantime, watching birthday spanking videos and reading about every spanko's experience these days makes me content.

So, I will continue chatting with this person on FetLife. I am surprised that he took a chance on chatting with someone who hasn't logged on for years.

My guy and his depression

My guy and I have talked about depression in the past. We have both had our bouts. However, mine have not been as lengthy as his can be.

He is currently going through a lengthy depression. It has lasted for nearly three months.

I have noticed a demise in his interests. We don't engage in sex as much as we used to. I haven't been spanked in weeks. We haven't talked much while we were both away on different business trips. Ever since I moved away from his cubicle at the office, he rarely goes to his. He hardly comes up to see me at my cubicle, preferring to stay in the training room.

Last Wednesday, he decided to connect with me on Skype at 18:30. Wednesdays are my longest days and I was heading home. He was on Facebook an hour earlier. I confronted him on the fact that he first apologized for not being online. Yet, he was indeed on Facebook. He said that he was swamped with work. I told him that I wanted to believe him, but his hours on Facebook did not add up.

He told me that he didn't feel like socializing. I suppose that it's a bit ironic that he decided to spend hours on a social network. Then again, I get what he meant. He wanted alone time, which meant being in front of his laptop. Throwing himself into his work is one symptom of being depressed. I do that often when I am depressed.

I told him that I felt that he was pushing me away. He admitted that he just feels anti-social. He still wants to go out for lunch with me. It is unfair for me to "wait" for him, as he barely communicates with me. Part of me wants to just call it quits.

I am not like that, though. He needs to know that I am there for support. It is completely different than thinking that I could possibly cure him of mental illness, which is completely out of my league. He needs help. I can love him and support him. I can't cure him. Professionals need to help him.

He told me to think about having lunch with him on Wednesday. Although he doesn't exhibit wanting or needing me these days, which is understandable under the circumstances, he still shows me that he wants to be with me. This little detail is an important one.

I need to insist that we go out for lunch when he is in town. I have a feeling that he hasn't been working out as often as he used to, so I need to suggest that he return to an activity that he enjoys. I also need to get his mind off being sad and to have him be more active.

I asked him if it was a particular thing that he was depressed about. Nope. He is just in a long, depressed state. Four years ago, he was on medication for a year and it took forever for him to get off it. The side effects were not pleasant for him. I still think that he needs to talk to a professional. If not, he needs to talk it out and talk things through, when he is ready. I reassured him that I am all ears when he feels like opening up to me.

He has opened up. Most men would not flat out say that they are depressed. He is comfortable with me that he can simply tell me so. I don't want him to isolate himself or to think that he is alone. He is not.

Sorry for the rather low tone to this post. It is my outlet to describe what is going on in my life -- both the happy and trying times.