Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sticking it out

The it in the title isn't meant to be a tongue-and-cheek innuendo of sorts. It is kind of clever if it were!

My guy and I met for lunch on Wednesday. His mood was much better. He says that he always smiles when he sees me. I think that I made him laugh a lot.

Our conversation over lunch was a good one. It took him a bit longer to get into his normal chatty self, but it was definitely a better conversation than we had on Monday.

What probably improved the quality was that I took the time out on Tuesday afternoon to write to him and share my insight on my experience battling depression. More importantly, I told him that I wanted to support him and to be there for him if he wanted to talk. I told him that I love him and admired how strong he was to tell me that he was depressed.

Although he is depressed and has lost his interest in a number of areas, including engaging in sex, I can tell that he still loves me. He knew that there was a heat draft directly under our table at the restaurant and suggested that we move, because I am a warm-bodied person. I told him that it was okay. My guy gets cold. I could simply roll up my sleeves if I started to feel warm.

He looked at my beige sweater and asked if it was new. I told him that he has seen it before, but I haven't worn it for a while. I had to remind him that he once told me that my erect nipple was showing underneath it. That detail jogged his mind. He remembered the breeze that day. I told him that he was the cause of my nipple getting all excited. My sweater was also larger on me than I had last remembered. He told me that larger is a good thing. I asked whether he was truly talking about sweaters, which made us both laugh.

He surprised me with a gift from Madrid. He got me castanets. He showed me how to place the strings on my thumbs and to try them out. It was a lot of fun. I felt like a lobster or crab for a bit.

After work, I headed to my car. His car was still there. I decided to lock my laptop bag in my car and to head to the training room. I dropped by to visit him. We had a decent chat about our day.

I asked him if I could give him a hug. He liked that. It was a nice twenty-second hug.
"Thank you, sweetness," he whispered in my right ear.
"I think that you need one," I replied.
After we unlocked from our embrace, he looked at me, with a huge smile on his face. I touched his face and was pleased that he was smiling on his own. He told me that I am still so sweet.

Baby steps. It will take a while for him to get out of his depressed state. All I can do is to be there and support him while he battles out of it.

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