Chat with friends and revelations

It's raining right now. It's nearly 2 am.

Yesterday, I had a great time hanging out with a few friends in the afternoon. We chatted, and sipped on teas and shakes. The laughter and conversation were much needed.

For the first time in a while, I could talk about my nearly eight-year relationship with my ex with others. 

I made a few statements that I hadn't said out loud until now:

• I hate the ex's guts
• We work at the same company and have never seen each other since the breakup
• It has been three years and I'm happy not being in a relationship

Hate is a strong word. It's fitting for how I feel.

The ex hurt me, which caused sadness and anxiety for months until I was okay. He came back to ask for sex, but without the relationship. It made me angry. He wanted a free hooker to put out. It wasn't my style.

I also said to do you to my friends. That's exactly what I have been doing. I am doing what feels best to me. I am okay being on my own. Sure, I miss companionship and cuddling, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship again. 

It's all okay.

Weekend is over

The weekend has come and gone. I do miss the longer weekend that I had before this one. I am all for a five-day weekend.

Have a great week ahead!

Training and a shift to my workday start time

Training is over for my colleague in India. I actually liked starting my day early. I let my manager know that I'd like to start my workday at 8 am (I typically start between 8:15 am and 8:30 am, so it's not a huge shift), and he was okay with it.

By starting at 8 am, my quitting time becomes 4:30 pm. He said that I'd be missed at our daily chat at 4:45 pm. I actually don't mind missing it, as some of the chatter with my colleagues is downright boring.

It's nice that I'm missed. I tend to be the one who sparks conversation. Take me out of the picture, and it's not as interesting because you have men who talk until the cows come home.

It's the weekend at long last. Yay!

Sleep and Happy Meals

I have been sleeping well since I cut out most sugary items from my diet. Other than my leg pain the other night, I haven't woken up in the middle of the night to attend to my bladder this week.

I have had a few apple slices this week. They were a part of a McDonald's Happy Meal. I'm collecting Mr Men and Little Miss toys. I have the option of having apple slices or fries in the meal. There are fewer carbs in the former, although it does have natural sugar.

As an adult, I never imagined ordering Happy Meals!

Sharing my thoughts about my intern

Today was my intern's last workday. I'll write about today tomorrow.

Yesterday, our team was asked to say a few words about him in our virtual meeting. I liked what I said to him. It was heartfelt and he appreciated it.

I said that it was a pleasure training and working with him. I told him that from his first two weeks to the growth that I have seen in him to become the writer that he currently is has made me so proud of him. 

I thanked him for being my wingman when going out to grab a bite to eat. I also liked that we bonded over the university that we chose to do our undergraduate degree. I looked forward to his joining me as an alum soon.

Over the course of his twelve-month term, I have been good in letting him know how he was doing. I'm glad that I did. I will miss working with him.

Dreaming about my guy and being together

When I miss my guy, I dream about him. It happened to me last night.

I don't recall all the details. I just remember him saying that he loves me and lovingly holding me. I woke up happy and loved.

He's doing well. He's spending a ton of time on a new project. It's like my trying to figure out how new applications work. We simply need to find some time to see each other.

Sausage maker and an erect penis

I was watching a presentation on a shopping channel a few hours ago. I love my KitchenAid mixer and all the attachments that you can get for it.

The presentation was for a sausage maker. You can basically grind you meat, take the casing, and stuff your own sausages. I love this idea of making homemade sausages.

However, the woman demonstrating the whole thing was holding the sausage in one hand while stuffing the meat down the accessory. Her holding the sausage reminded me of my guy's erect penis.

It was such a weird, random thought. I have never gone into the supermarket thinking that I was looking at hard cocks. Tonight, however, I had that vision. Hmm.

Perhaps I simply miss my guy -- everything about him, including his hard member.

Missing my guy and cuddling sweet gifts

I miss my guy.

He's still working on training materials for a course that is rather new. He's training and tweaking it as he goes.

I miss talking to him. Holding his hand. Hearing about his day. Everything.

It's nice that I have a couple of stuffed plush toys, a purple sheep named Woolly and an owl named Owly, that are on my bed. I'm glad that I can cuddle them when I miss him.

Missing me and flying home

I miss my guy. He's flying home as I type this post.

I like when he gets all mushy and sweet.

"You know that I miss you a ton, right?" he said in a tender moment in our conversation.
"I think so. You don't normally say it as much as I do, but I know that you do," I said.
"Yes, I do miss you a lot. I can't wait to kiss those lips of yours," he said.

The feeling is definitely mutual.

Stressful Monday morning, but better in the afternoon

Ah, Monday. Either it's horrible or it's okay. I got a mix today.

A new employee joined the company. She is hopefully going to take over a bulk of my work. The problem with her is that she asks a ton of questions without doing much research. It also didn't help that her laptop wasn't available until two hours later.

As I was trying to look up information, I got a ton of questions from her. Ugh. Such a bad time to be asking ridiculous questions.

She brought her laptop home. We never covered how to connect remotely. The answer was on an information sheet that she got with her laptop. Again, more questions. Double ugh.

I got annoyed. Thankfully, things turned around as the day progressed.

My guy sent me a text in the afternoon. It was bad timing, though. I let him know that I was training a new writer and was stressed out.

"Sorry to hear that. Please ping me when you're free. Hope I'm still up," he texted.
"It'll probably be late. I train until 5 pm. I'll give you a try. Miss you," I replied.
"Same here," he said, sending a kiss emoticon.
"You're sweet," I replied, reciprocating with a kiss emoticon.
"You, too," he replied.

He makes my day when I need some cheering up.

Toronto Christmas Market and texting smileys

On Saturday, I visited the Toronto Christmas Market for the first time with a couple of friends. We had a great time hanging out.

It's pretty expensive buying stuff there. Still, if you go for the experience, you're good.

My guy called me in the afternoon. I had missed his call. It was so noisy at this market that I didn't even hear my phone ring or vibrate. He left me a smiley text, which always means that he's good. I sent him a smiley back that blew him a kiss.

Here's hoping that we chat soon.

Missing someone that it hurts and dealing with work madness

Have you ever missed someone that it just hurts? That, for a brief moment, a sense of sadness and panic set in? After all of that passes, you're then okay?

I am feeling all of these emotions. I don't know why I am experiencing such a mixed bag, but I do miss my guy a ton.

I suppose that it doesn't help that there are issues with an upcoming, major software release. All weekend, I simply saw e-mails flooding my inbox on various issues, and what needs to be fixed in both the code and documentation.

About that job that I had interviewed for several weeks ago, it turns out that the position is on hold. I frankly didn't think it was a good fit for me. However, I have heard through the odd, contracted human resources woman that they have a different position in mind for me come January.

I don't have a favourable impression about this company. I will hear what they have to say, but I won't hold my breath.

A long wait - missing my guy already

I'm bummed out right now. My guy's flight is early today, which means that we won't be able to see each other.

Like last year, he is away from a month on business. It seems like an eternity.

Although he has reassured me that we'll chat while he is away, I'm still sad that we'll be apart for such a long time.

Meeting my guy for lunch, hugs, kissing, and groping

On Tuesday, I got a call from my guy as he was heading over to the office. I had to break the news to him that I was working from home.

He went into the office to pick up his new laptop. He had to get the IT guys to make sure that everything was transferred properly on his new laptop. He decided to give me a phone call and do lunch. We met midway.

We went back to a Chinese restaurant that we have frequented a handful of times. I had to text him the address, as he is directionally challenged.

I got there and tried calling him. My call immediately went to voicemail. To me, it was a sign that his cell phone was dead.

He knocked on the glass of my car's door. It startled me. I got out. We hugged. It was one of the best hugs. It's the kind of hug that quietly says that I miss you and love you.

We must have been in that embrace for a good minute. He groped my left buttock.

"That's my butt," I whispered in his left ear.
"I know," he said, continuing to grope my buttock.

We then locked lips. I have missed kissing him. Again, it seemed like we were kissing for a good minute.

I like that we block out the world when we are together. It's nice.

Same routine, minus being done packing

I'm packed for the weekend. I'm early. It's because I am going out on Thursday night and won't have much time to get my last-minute packing done.

There isn't a whole lot happening here. It's the usual. I miss my guy tons. Work is still crazy. It'll be nice to unwind this weekend.

Hinting at being punished

I like how fun conversations between my guy and I become:

"I am looking forward to being on vacation. It's nice to be a tourist," I said.
"I agree. I can't wait to be with you," he said.
"I have ideas on where we can go. It's a question of packing everything in, including our favourite liquidation place," I noted.
"Yes, it's a must," he agreed.
"I love being trampled over by aggressive money-saving people," I pointed out.
"Someone likes punishment," he observed.
"I like a different form of that, done by a good-looking guy," I replied.
"All in good time, my dear," he said cheerfully.
"Yay!" I exclaimed.

We miss each other. He returns home in a couple of days.

Caressing and kissing a freshly shaved head

My guy called me again. He had bought breakfast at an eatery downstairs in our office building. He also gave me exact directions on which room he was in. It was impressive.

His instructions were perfect. I walked into the room.

"I followed the fried egg scent and came on in," I replied.
"I'm glad you did," he said, smiling at me.

I couldn't help but to caress his head.

"It's freshly shaved for you," he said, liking my touch.
"I love it," I replied, and tenderly kissed his head.
"Thank you, sweetie," he said.
"It makes me happy," I said, drawing a happy face on his head.

I have missed him so much. The feeling was mutual.

Parting and pouting kisses

When my guy and I go out separate ways after spending some time together, it's sort of sad. We want to spend more time with each other.

"I don't want you to go," I said to him, walking him to the door.
"I don't, either," he replied.

We kissed. It was one of those long, affectionate types of kisses. Full of love. Meaningful.

Sometimes, I'll pout. He'll end up kissing my lower lip that is sticking out in the pout. I like when he does that. He's sweet.

I miss him tonight.

Hotel, gifts,and lots of kisses

On Thursday, I drove to my guy's town. The drive wasn't bad, as I had bypassed most of the ugly rush-hour traffic. I also have a hunch that other folks have taken this week off, like I have.

I checked in at the hotel room at 16:30. I then went to grab a pizza and more, and came back to the hotel.

My guy called me. He was commuting and said that he'd drop by at 20:00. I was thrilled.

I wore a cold-shoulder top, which he has seen me in once before. I had my skirt ready. I had asked him to call me when he was close by. He completely forgot. Instead, I was wearing shorts when he got to the hotel. They still worked.

After he knocked on my door, I let him in and we hugged tightly. I always feel good in his arms.

He took off his winter gear (it has been -22°C during the day, with a windchill that makes it feel more like -30°C) and we moved over to the loveseat.

He was sweet to have brought a couple of gifts for me. The first was a small, cuddly owl plush. I love it! The other was a pressure cooker cookbook. I didn't have a chance to leaf through it. My guy was too busy kissing me all over.

It's amazing how much he misses me. I've missed him, too.

Two more days before I see my guy

My guy returns home in a couple of days. Naturally, I am excited to see him.

It has been almost a month since I last saw him. I miss his kisses and hugs.

I enjoy how he tells me that I'm due for a spanking. It makes me happy.

Thursday can't come soon enough!