Sunday, August 21, 2022

Chat with friends and revelations

It's raining right now. It's nearly 2 am.

Yesterday, I had a great time hanging out with a few friends in the afternoon. We chatted, and sipped on teas and shakes. The laughter and conversation were much needed.

For the first time in a while, I could talk about my nearly eight-year relationship with my ex with others. 

I made a few statements that I hadn't said out loud until now:
  • I hate the ex's guts
  • We work at the same company and have never seen each other since the breakup
  • It has been three years and I'm happy not being in a relationship
Hate is a strong word. It's fitting for how I feel.

The ex hurt me, which caused sadness and anxiety for months until I was okay. He came back to ask for sex, but without the relationship. It made me angry. He wanted a free hooker to put out. It wasn't my style.

I also said to do you to my friends. That's exactly what I have been doing. I am doing what feels best to me. I am okay being on my own. Sure, I miss companionship and cuddling, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship again. 

It's all okay.

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