Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Panic attack

It has been a while since I have experienced a panic attack. The last time was over a year ago when my ex-guy broke up with me.

My panic attack symptoms are straightforward. My feel like my breathe is short. My chest gets a bit tight. It's not a great feeling.

I used to get these symptoms often when I was in grade 7. I disliked doing presentations in front of the class. These days, I talk so much in front of people that it's not an issue.

My symptoms started happening on Sunday night. It briefly happened after work on Monday. It became full-blown after work on Tuesday.

It took me a while to figure out why. It's the dread that diva woman was taking over a task of mine blindly -- without truly knowing what she needed to do It was the dread of her messing up and the consequences that was and is causing this anxiety.

She drafted up a checklist at 2:30 am on Tuesday for me to review and decided to do this task 6.5 hours later. She had the software release number wrong right off the bat.

Yep, my dread was correct.

This task would take me just under five hours to do. By the time I was done with my workday on Tuesday, she hadn't finished. I realize that it was her first time doing the actual work, but taking eight hours is slow.

I have also realized that she messed up a sequence of changes. Ugh!

Right now, my panic attack symptoms are minimal. It's the case because I am writing about them here and the onus is on her when things aren't right.

I never expected getting a panic attack over this change. Weird. I'm sure that it'll disappear once her work is over.


  1. i do hope that you're better now - by the time this comment reaches you. take care!

    1. Thanks, Fondles! I have a mild version of it now. I think it's work-related. It has taken me completely by surprise.