Panic attack

It has been a while since I have experienced a panic attack. The last time was over a year ago when my ex-guy broke up with me.

My panic attack symptoms are straightforward. My feel like my breathe is short. My chest gets a bit tight. It's not a great feeling.

I used to get these symptoms often when I was in grade 7. I disliked doing presentations in front of the class. These days, I talk so much in front of people that it's not an issue.

My symptoms started happening on Sunday night. It briefly happened after work on Monday. It became full-blown after work on Tuesday.

It took me a while to figure out why. It's the dread that diva woman was taking over a task of mine blindly -- without truly knowing what she needed to do It was the dread of her messing up and the consequences that was and is causing this anxiety.

She drafted up a checklist at 2:30 am on Tuesday for me to review and decided to do this task 6.5 hours later. She had the software release number wrong right off the bat.

Yep, my dread was correct.

This task would take me just under five hours to do. By the time I was done with my workday on Tuesday, she hadn't finished. I realize that it was her first time doing the actual work, but taking eight hours is slow.

I have also realized that she messed up a sequence of changes. Ugh!

Right now, my panic attack symptoms are minimal. It's the case because I am writing about them here and the onus is on her when things aren't right.

I never expected getting a panic attack over this change. Weird. I'm sure that it'll disappear once her work is over.

Aroused by a photo and a text message

It doesn't take much for either my guy or me to get horny.

I sent him a photo of my nails. A friend of mine had given me a purple set of Impress gel nails. I love that you select the size that you need for each nail and stick each gel nail on. He liked the photo so much that he envisioned my hand wrapped around his hard member. He also likes when I touch his bare chest.

As for me, it only took a single text.

Get ready when we meet. I am spanking you hard.

Simple things in life are great.

Orgasms, ejaculation, and treehouse fun

My guy and I arrived at the office and parked. He is incredibly boyish at times.

"Could you drive me to the airport?" he asked me, looking at my car's trunk that I had opened.
"Of course," I said, with both of us knowing that we'd spend more time together.

He had three items to transport to my car. One was a box with his training materials. Another was his suitcase. The third was his computer rolling bag.

My car is smaller than his tank of a car. We agreed that we'd use his car as the treehouse and loaded everything in my car's trunk and backseat.

We got into my guy's car. It was a warm day -- summer-like in temperature. I asked if he could open the windows. He did.

We hugged. We kissed. I was wearing shorts. He hugged my bare legs and caressed them.

"You have the sexiest legs that I have ever seen," he commented.
"You're sweet, as usual," I replied.

We snugged up to each other. I caressed his chest over his blue shirt.

"I love your chest," I said.
"I love yours, too," he replied, groping my right breast, which made me laugh.

He played with me. He ran his hands up and down my legs. He eventually found out how wet I was. He fingered me until I came. I loved it, as usual.

I wanted to give him a handjob. He let his hard cock out for me to hold and play with. He likes pleasing me so much that he made me orgasm again while I was trying to make him cum.

Eventually, I did successful make him ejaculate. It helps that I like telling him stories. He came pretty fast.

"I remember when we were in Istanbul and were heading to the train. We were on an escalator. I went to grab your hand and got your balls instead," I said.
"Yes," he confirmed.
"You gave the impression that it was bad for me to do that in public. Secretly, you wanted me to play with you there," I said.
"That's true," he said, getting harder by the minute.
"You like f*cking me. If you wanted to at 2 am, you'd wake me up and say so," I noted.
"I'd love that," he replied.
"I need to sleep next to you naked. That way, when you want to have me, you can instantly," I said.

With that little story, he came all over my hand and thigh. It was great.

We cleaned up. My guy bend over to start the car. I admired his bare butt and groped it.

"Ooh, butt! I love eye candy," I replied.

It was a good day together.

Belated birthday spanking and more

My guy is practically back to his normal self. These days, he is content about everything. I could also tell that he had missed me while I was away on vacation.

He was so happy to see me on Wednesday. He couldn't wait. He called me on his cell phone while he was driving to work. He called me at 08:45. He knew that I tend to be an early riser. Seeing that I was sort of on vacation, he wanted to wait as long as he could, in case I was still asleep. Knowing him, he wanted to talk to me as soon as he could. It was so good to hear his voice again.

On Thursday, we had lunch together. It was good. He asked me what dishes at the Chinese restaurant had sugar in them. He is trying to cut out sugar from his diet. I have done that in the past, but try and do a balance these days.

He broke the news to me that he can't have lunch with me on Monday. He has a meeting with his manager and his manager's manager. I pouted. He looked at me longingly. I playfully pouted some more. He said that he would make it up to me. I was happy again.

The bill came. There were two green tea candies. I handed him one.

"You can have that. I am cutting out sugar from my diet," he reminded me.
"Are you sure? It's not completely healthy to remove all sugar from your diet, you know," I said.
"I am hoping to get some sugar from you later on today," he said, smiling.
"You are smooth," I noted.
"I don't need any more sugar," he explained.
"That's because you are sweet as-is," I remarked.
"You are, too," he said, as we both smiled at each other.

I had suggested the other day that we spend some time cuddling and looking at photos together. He liked that idea and said that after work would be perfect.

I went into the office after being on vacation for ten days. It was somewhat nice to be back, although nothing really has changed much. I was more interested in seeing my guy after work.

I left at 17:30 and visited the training room. There were trainees there. I asked them where my guy went. Apparently, he went home. I then realized that these guys would be there for a while, so my guy decided to change our venue.

Sure enough, he was in his car, looking at his phone. He looked up at me, said hi, and said that he was waiting for me. We would be heading over to our usual parking lot for some quality cuddling time.

We got there and got into the backseat of my car. He held me in his arms. I asked him about his day. He said that it was boring, other than lunch. My head was leaning against his chest. I was stretched out a bit.

My guy put his left had on my hip, which gradually slipped into my left back pant pocket. His hand slipped out out and he started lightly groping my buttock before he started lightly slapping it.

The slaps gradually became harder. I was getting more aroused by the second.

"What's that for?" I asked him playfully.
"For being a bad girl," he said, punctuating it with another hard smack.
"But, I'm always a good girl," I replied with a slightly whiny tone.
"No, you've been away from me more nearly two weeks," he stated, giving me another hard slap across my left buttock.
"That's not my fault," I said.
"You need a spanking. Assume the position," he said, looking at me, and then his lap.

We kissed passionately for a moment before I went over his knee. He asked me whether I was comfortable, like he has in the past. I said that I was for now, but my backside probably won't be after my spanking.

It was still that time of the month for me, so I didn't get a bare-bottomed spanking. Still, getting a spanking across my pants hurts after my guy is done with me.

He spanked me hard. I loved every moment. He started by spanking each buttock in a rhythmic fashion. He then spanked each buttock in spurts. At one point, he was giving each side seven rapid, hard smacks. He also gave me some rather hard pinches, which hurt and I loved.

"Is this my birthday spanking?" I asked him in-between saying ow.
"Yes, we need to make up for all the days that you were away from me."

It was the nicest birthday spanking from him. He managed to rub my crotch to the point where I actually came. I rested limp across his lap. He caressed my sore buttocks and have me a huge hug after I got up.

I looked up at him, head his face in my hands, told him that he was adorable, and kissed him sweetly.

I then pleasured him by giving him a handjob. It was a bit of a different spin on it. He rolled up my right pant leg and caressed the length of my bare leg.

My guy proceeded to unbutton and unzip his pants. He pulled down his briefs and his hard member simply looked like it was pleased to see me. It rubbed against my bare leg. I started to jerk him off, with my bare leg rubbing against his hard cock the whole time.

He pulled his brown-and-white stripped shirt up. I was so turned on by his chest. I went ahead and touched his bare chest, and told him that it was sexy.

Moments later, my guy ejaculated all over my leg. It was great. We both enjoyed it.

We cleaned up. I had napkins in the glove compartment. My guy bent over the front seat to get them. I got a great view of his bare bottom. It was awesome!

We hugged, cuddled, and looked at pictures on my phone, like we had hoped to do. Naturally, being horny changed our priorities!

It was a great evening. We kissed one final time before we headed home. I drove back with an increasingly sore bottom. I wouldn't want it any other way. It had been such a long time. It was nice.

Sweet moments in an elevator due to my forgetfulness

The most difficult part about being with someone who is also your colleague is keeping work separate from your personal life. My guy and I do a fairly good job at making this delineation. We don't make out while on the job.

Last Friday, we were in a meeting with our manager. My guy has a presentation to make this Wednesday. I am involved as I wrote the input, which will be the basis of his presentation. My guy was his usual polite self, pulling out the chair for me. I thanked him.

We had a pretty good discussion. My guy had to open a documentation ticket in our software tracking system. I thanked him for assigning me more work. He felt bad about it, but told me before our meeting that he would make that up for me. Yes, he implied quality time down the road with me.

Anyway, both my boss and my guy liked the fact that I could sympathize with how many software features my guy could possibly discuss in a two-hour presentation. Most writers don't think about presentations from a timing standpoint. I have always been different.

I had my legs crossed during this meeting. I was wearing a pair of jeans, a green t-shirt, and sandals. I caught my guy looking at my legs and feet. It was cute.

Trying to keep our hands off each other when we are sitting inches away from each other can be difficult. We managed to be professional!

A couple of hours later, my guy and I talked at our cubicles. It was great catching up.

We left work for the weekend. The elevator had folks in there, so we couldn't kiss or hug discreetly. It was a bummer. We haven't done that for a bit.

I had worn a sweatshirt to work, as it was breezy. I had left it hanging over the back of my desk chair. It had my keys in one of the pockets. I told my guy that I needed his help to retrieve it. My guy has an after-hours pass to ride the elevator. I don't have access. He was sweet in helping me.

We walked into an empty elevator. The doors closed. We kissed and hugged passionately. I was happy to gently caress his chest. We enjoyed the ride.

My guy made sure that I could enter our floor. I could. I went to get my sweatshirt and came back to the main elevators. My guy was waiting for me.

We got into another elevator. It was empty. We lucked out twice! The doors closed. He groped my buttocks. I caressed his head and hugged him tightly.

I thanked him for helping him and for being so sweet. He smiled at me, and liked that we had some happy ups and downs in an elevator.

My guy is home - let the passion begin!

My guy is back in town. It was good to see him at work today. That is probably the understatement of the month. It has been a couple of weeks since I have seen him, which felt like months at times.

He looked at me for the longest time as we were talking. Well, I was doing quite a bit of talking. He blew me a kiss over our cubicle wall, which made me smile at him.

My guy came over to my desk a few times. I enjoy when he starts to rub the back of my neck, and moves his hand under my blouse, which then moves over to my right breast. His hand then plunged down my bra. He played with my nipple. I was stimulated. He then sat next to me and felt my bare leg.

His hand then moved down my back. I was showing him some pictures on my computer while he was sensually playing with me. A bit later, he reciprocated by showing me his pictures from St. Petersburg.

What is interesting about us is that we are pretty similar when it comes to picture-taking. We take pictures of food, feet, and hotel rooms, as examples. We have never discussed it. Today, we both noticed similar trends.

We have seen each other naked from head to toe. His feet were revealed to me last, as he tends to wear socks and shoes year-round, except when we were on vacation in Las Vegas. He also saw my feet last, although I tend to wear sandals and am comfortable with bare feet at home.

I enjoyed rubbing his calf while we were seated next to each other. I gave him a bit of an upper shoulder rub. I could tell that he liked my touching him.

He had taken a picture of a pretty dress while he was away for a couple of weeks. I was standing next to him by his computer. I like teasing him.

"Did you wear that dress?" I asked him. He playfully gestured hitting me. He swatted my backside, which made me smile.

He also took a picture of an elevator while in St. Petersburg.

"Too bad I wasn't there," I stated in a matter-of-fact tone. He nodded in agreement.

He then moved to decompressing some work-related files.

"There you go, unzipping, as always," I said playfully to him. He laughed.

We left work just after 18:00. We waited by the elevators. We talked. We deferred our treehouse time for another afternoon, as he had an appointment to get to tonight.

"I hope that the elevator is empty," he said slyly. Sadly, it wasn't.

We both got in the elevator, joining two other maintenance guys who were already there. The elevator was headed to the ground floor. My guy immediately pressed the basement-level button.

My guy reached out for my hand as the elevator continued with its descent. I couldn't resist rubbing his hand with my thumb in circles. He likes when I do that. It was the very first gestures that we did when we expressed interest in each other.

We got to the ground floor, where the maintenance guys left the elevator. I immediately closed the door by pressing the appropriate button.

"I have been waiting to do this for a long time," my guy said, holding me and planting a passionate kiss on my lips. I hugged him with my left hand, enjoyed reciprocating such a passionate kiss with my lips, and had my right hand on his toned chest.

We reached the basement floor. The elevator doors swung open. My guy stuck his head out to see if anyone was around. He then put his computer rolling bag in front of the doors.

He came over to me.

"I have missed you," he said, as we embraced tightly. He had a hard-on, which was pressed up against me. He groped my buttocks while we were hugging. We unlocked and he went back to passionately kissing me, until the elevator started to beep.

Our lips parted briefly. He moved his computer bag back in. The elevator doors closed. We kissed one final time before we hit the ground floor.

"That was nice," I said, as we both exited the elevator and walked slowly out, holding hands.

Passionate kissing, fingering, and jerking off on a Friday

Yesterday, I went to an all-female luncheon with a bunch of colleagues. It was at a local buffet. I can't shovel down food as much as I used to. It's good. I'm glad I didn't, for being sluggish when you want to be intimate with your guy isn't exactly hot.

My guy and I had quite the chatting session going on at work in the afternoon. He thinks that I am funny. I do have a twisted sense of humour. I am the office clown, which balances my serious work ethic.

At the luncheon, the human resources woman asked our new colleague what she thought of me. I joked that I shouldn't hear the feedback. My new colleague said that I am good at explaining things to her and that she appreciates my responses. I told her that I didn't even pay her to say such niceties.

In the office, I thanked our new colleague for the kind words. My guy had to chime in when I said that I rarely hear good things from folks about my work.

"Nobody has told you that you do great work?" he questioned.
"Not to my face," I pointed out. "They do behind my back."
"Well, we'll have to change that. Let's start now by saying that you're wearing a lovely green, short-sleeved t-shirt."

My guy makes me smile. I was standing up when we were talking. He blew me a kiss. He is sweet.

We left work at 18:00. He is off to Bangkok on business all next week. We talked about what he was going to there while we waited for the elevator.

We got in an empty elevator. He stood next to me. The doors closed. He lightly pushed me up against one of the walls. He wrapped his arms around me and planted quite the sensual kiss. I couldn't help but to put my arms around his upper back and continue kissing him. It was such a passionate moment. When we got to the ground floor, we unlocked lips.

"Wow, that was amazing," I said. He nodded in agreement.
"Do you want to make out?" he asked me.
"Sure, if you have time," I said.

We both drove to our regular spot. We got into his car's backseat. He held my hand. I squeezed it. Our lips locked once again.

"I have missed those lips of yours," he said. "They are so soft and smooth. You are killing me!"

I normally have my right hand either caressing his neck or head, or touching his chest. I actually did all three. When my hand got to his chest, while we were kissing, I unbuttoned one button on his short-sleeved shirt and placed my hand under it. I loved tenderly touching his hairy chest. I have never initiated such a move before. I could tell that he liked it. He unfastened a few more buttons. I continued to touch his chest.

We kissed for a long time, which is pretty standard for us. His hand briefly fondled my right breast. He then quietly asked if he could touch me. I was incredibly game.

"I love touching your pussy," he said, skillfully fingering it. "It's so wet."

He fingered my pussy and my butthole simultaneously. It felt good.

"You like it when I finger your pussy and asshole, don't you?" he asked, rhetorically. "You're just a slut."
"Yes, I am," I responded, feeling really good.

I eventually came. I rested my head on his chest after and thanked him.

"I have never been so turned on anyone's chest but yours in my life," I said. He chuckled and continued to hug me.

We kissed some more. I kissed his cheek and chin briefly, before I went back to his full lips. My hand went back to touching his chest, which slowly made its way down to his crotch. I found his penis. It was incredibly erect. I moaned.

He unbuckled his belt, took his slacks off, and pulled out his hard cock. I wrapped my manicured fingers around it. He looked down and was so turned on. I worked diligently on giving him a handjob. We continued kissing. He came on my hand. I love the warmth of his semen on my hand.

My guy is quite the gentleman. He always wipes me off first with paper towel before he wipes himself.

We talked for quite a bit.

"What would you like me to bring back from Bangkok for you?" he asked me.
"A massage," I joked. He had teased me in the past that he was going there for a massage. "It's thoughtful of you to think of getting me a present."
"No girl in Bangkok can make me feel as good as when I am with you," he said rather smoothly. "I love being with you."
"I enjoy hanging out with you," I said, resting my head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of mine.
"How about knuckles?" he asked me.
"What?" I asked him.
"I can get you brass knuckles," he said calmly.
"Do you want to see me beat up someone?" I asked, which made him laugh.

He is sweet and thoughtful.

"I will miss you," I said, with my usual frankness.
"It's only for a week," he pointed out.
"I know, unlike the four weeks that you were away."
"I know," he nodded while holding me.
"That four weeks wasn't as bad for me than the three weeks that you were away. I am not sure why."
"Maybe you're getting used to my travel schedule," he observed.
"I don't know if I can ever get used to it. Your time away didn't hurt as much as it used to."

We embraced for quite some time. I couldn't help but kiss him. We hugged one last time before we went our separate ways. I will miss him, but I know that I am loved. He knows that he is loved right back.

As for being spanked by him, my birthday is in two weeks. He is planning how to administer my birthday spanking, which is one reason why I haven't been spanked much these days. He is making me wait in anticipation. It kills me, but I am sure that the wait will be worth it.

Spankings and a sexy chest

I haven't written for a bit. It's mostly because my guy is on the road still. We have been pretty busy with work as of late. So, connecting online or over the phone has been quite the challenge.

Don't worry. I have been thinking a lot about being spanked these days. I do miss my guy spanking me, but his physical absence makes me appreciate all the spankings that I have had from him so far.

This observation will seem a bit odd to some. I miss my guy's chest. Weird, huh?

His chest was one of the first parts of his body that I had touched when we first met. We embraced at work, with my breasts touching his toned chest. I remember wrapping my arms around him, but I have already remembered how comforting it was to be pressed up against his chest.

After sex, I like cudding up to him and often rest my head against his chest. I can hear his heart beating. I always feel safe in his arms. He doesn't mind that I cuddle up to him as if I were a cat.

When we kiss, I usually have my hand on his chest. When he spanked me with the leather side of my fuzzy purple paddle, with both of us standing up, I hugged him tightly, which he liked. My bare backside was smarting. I had to cling to someone!

My guy does have a sexy chest. I enjoyed the first time I touched it. His bare chest. I loved kissing and caressing it.

My guy will be back home in over a week. It is rough when I long to be with him. I am sure that there will be plenty of opportunities to be over his knee and spanked hard. I can't wait to cuddle up to him and hear his heartbeat again.

Crying, but not for being bad

On Monday, my guy and I had a two-hour chatting session over Skype. I have missed him a lot. I know that he feels the same way about me these days.

I asked how he was doing. He immediately said that he was hard, which is his direct way of saying that he wanted to be with me.

We spent Valentine's Day apart, as he was on business. I have never been a huge Valentine's Day person. I had received an e-card from him, which was sweet. It had a pink teddy bear and a bunch of smileys. I happen to love teddy bears and I smile a lot. He liked a humourous e-card that I had sent him. The e-card said that he was delicious and that we should do lunch. It showed a banana, a bagel, a hot dog, and a chocolate-glazed donut.

We talked quite a bit about the last time that he had spent together.

"I liked when you took your shirt off," I said to him quietly.
"It was nice that you tenderly touched my chest and kissed it," he replied. "It was sweet."
"It was everything that I had imagined and more."

We then talked about my getting paddled.

"I liked the noises that you made when I was spanking you," he indicated to me.
"What noises did I make?" I asked him. I had no idea what sounds I had made.
"Every time I spanked you, you held onto me tighter," he reminded me.
"It hurt," I pointed out. "I was nearly in tears by the end of it. I was sore for two days. It was good."
"I love spanking and groping you," he pointed out.

We continued talking about making him come that day.

"You seem turned on by my kissing you as you jerk off," I remarked.
"I am turned on by your full lips," he admitted. "I liked when you fingered my asshole with one of your manicured finger."
"It was good. I'm glad," I said.

We then both got off over the phone. I described how I missed sucking him. He told me that he can't wait to spank my backside with anything he can get his hands on to make it sore for days.

The only downside was that he had made me cry towards the end of our conversation. He didn't mean to. However, after sex, he tends to get in a dopey state of mind in which he doesn't know what he is saying.

"How's your back doing?" he asked me. "It doesn't seem like anything has changed since your surgery."

That statement was hurtful to me. Yes, it is true that my walk before my back surgery is about the same as it is now. My nerves need time to regenerate. There are changes to my pinched nerves that only I can feel. I wasn't expecting to hear such an insensitive statement, especially from him. I couldn't hold my tears any longer.

"I feel like crying," I said, and did just that.
"Oh, don't cry," he said, finally snapping out of dopey mode. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry, sweetness,..."

He apologized practically nonstop for at least a minute. I could tell that he felt bad.

"I wish I was with you, to wipe your tears from your cheeks, to hug you tightly against my chest, and to tell you that you'll be okay."

He felt bad about making me cry. 

"I should have just asked you how your back was. I didn't have to garnish it with an idiotic comment," he explained.

He made me laugh. He felt better.

"You always laugh when I curse and call myself names," he remarked. He was right.

The best part about him trying to dig himself out of the hole that he had made was this remark:

"If it's any consolation to you, your back is getting better. I could tell when we were in the car," he said.
"What you really want to say is that when I sucked your cock, you knew that my back was fine," I said bluntly, which made us both laugh.
"I didn't want to word it that way, but it was what I had meant," he admitted.

Sure, my guy unintentionally hurt me, but his heart was in the right place. I was hoping that he would spank me until I cried. I wasn't expecting to cry this way. Maybe when he's back in town again, he can make up for his blunder. Perhaps I should put him over my knee and administer his first spanking.