I remember when my guy told me that he liked me and wanted to be with me. He was away in Portugal and we chatted on Skype. It was a sweet conversation.
The next time we chatted, we talked about sex and he asked me what I was interested in. I didn't really know how he would feel about my liking to spank and be spanked. He was okay once I told him and it has been wonderful that he loves to spank me.
I found this article about finding the courage to share what fetish you are interested in with your partner. I can relate. It does, however, feel so good when you reveal that you like spanking. Everything seems to fall into place. The self-inflicted pressure seems to melt away.
For a long time, most women thought of themselves and were seen to be non-sexual. Of course, not everyone, but for most, sex was seen as a chore- a wifely duty to keep her man happy and to bear children. It was even thought as a revolting painful chore.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until the 1950's when those like Alfred Kinsey and Ernst Grafenberg (for whom the G-spot would later become named) started their studies, that women would start to be seen as sexual and they were publicly ridiculed and attacked. Later Masters and Johnson would get into much more extensive studies and their findings that women were more widely accepted as indeed being sexual.
Though these people were instrumental in changing the way women were thought of, I think that the way that women thought of themselves took a long time to change. I think one of the most common discussions in spanking communities for example, is when it is mostly older men that say that their wife does not share their spanking and other sexual interests.
I think that this kind of problem is becoming a thing of the past, thankfully.
I believe that women of around my age and younger are having a much easier time coming to understand and accept our sexuality including any kinks/fetishes that makes up a part of it. And I think it is the internet that has the greatest impact in making this possible as well as the availability and advancement of sexual aids and more porn being made to appeal to female viewers.
The porn industry has begun to cater to the niche of female viewers in producing a "softer"core variety that gives more of an illusion to romance, couples, seduction, etc. that appeals to a lot of women.
The advancement of variety and availability of sex toys
has led to women becoming much more knowledgeable and able to communicate better their needs and orgasmic ability as well as the internet providing a way to purchase them anonymously rather than being uncomfortable going into seedy adult bookstores was the only way to acquire them in the past.
The worldwide expansion and explosion of the internet including a near infinite variety of low priced pornography as well as the free informative blogospheres has led to sharing of ideas and interests that have further made women able and comfortable to accept their sexuality. I just did a search entitled "women that like to be spanked" It returned about 2.5 MILLION.
I think that the mismatched partners of incompatible and/or different sexual/fetishstic/kinky interests will decline vastly as this trend of women developing psychosexually will keep going and will continue to pave the way for further generations of women to become even more able to be comfortable and unashamed to communicate their wants and needs and it will continue to become easier to find partners that share them.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Amber. I agree that access to porn online has helped, especially when it comes to breaking the news about enjoying spanking.
DeleteFor me, it is more how to break the news to your partner that you have a sexual interest that isn't exactly vanilla, regardless of whether you are male or female. I think that I lucked out having an open-minded guy who did not run away from it. He has grown to love spanking me. I am the first woman that he has ever spanked, which is a nice first to have. =)
So happy your guy was open to what pleases you, CB. Thanks for sharing the interesting article.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I am happy about it, too, Cat! I just came across the article and thought it would be worthwhile to share it.
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