Finding my best friend from grade 7 and debating whether to contact her

I don't write as much as I used to here. It's partly life. It's partly because I am not in an intimate relationship.

I have topics to write about. I haven't prioritized posting them.

I do have some news to share. It's good news. I'm just not sure if I should take the bold step and reach out, or let the past stay in the past.

In grade 7, I was best friends with a person. I'll call her Candy. She was awesome, except that she was teased whenever someone would tap her on the shoulder or give her a hug.

I don't think we ever hugged. I didn't want to trigger anything. I never asked why she was so sensitive. I figured it out in grade 8.

We were in extended French class. We had an exercise to reveal a secret by writing it on a piece of paper. It would then be placed in a jar. Each one of us would fish out an entry, read it, and figure out who it was.

Candy asked how to say abuse in French. It caught my attention. It also caught the attention of two of our classmates.

We reported it to our French teacher. She spent a lot of time talking to counsellors after she shared what had happened to her. Our friendship started to change, well into grades 9 and 10.

She became a feminist. She didn't like eating lunch with our usual friends in the cafeteria. She preferred to eat lunch in the washroom.

We used to walk up to school and home together. All that stopped.

She changed high schools. We drifted apart. We saw each other a couple of times in Toronto. Once was when we were in grade 12. The last time was when I was in my second year of undergraduate studies. We met in a store on Yonge Street. She called my name. I said hi. That was it.

I have thought about her often over the years. I'd try searching for her online. Nothing.

I gave it a try today. Somehow, my persistence worked. It also helped that she openly stated her birthday on her Web site, right down to the year. I looked at her birthmark on her forehead and immediately knew that it was her.

She is definitely more verbally articulate than she used to be. She is far more open about being abused and her past. I didn't realize that she automatically grew up in a cult and ran away from home shortly after she changed school.

She changed her last name after she ran away from home. It explains one reason why I had a tough time finding her.

I'd like to contact her and say hi. I don't know whether that's a good idea. The abuse that she endured happened while we were best friends. She couldn't tell me anything because her abusers threatened to kill her, which is understandable.

Part of me wants to because I care that she's alive and seems to be doing well. Part of me thinks that if I do reach out, I will be resurrecting the horrible abuse flashbacks that was happening. 

I would like to think that our friendship was maybe an escape from this abuse. I just don't know.

I will sit on it and think some more. I am happy that she's doing great. She seems healthy. She is an author and an artist. 

Productive day with a new laptop

Monday was quite a busy workday. It was nice that my manager was away, which should be the norm!

I had a conference call on my way to work. There are three of us on this call. Two of us have something meaningful to contribute each week. Our third colleague has little to contribute that is of value on any given week.

At the office, I spent my first half an hour on the phone with my cell phone provider. I got my employee discount applied and got reimbursed $32 CAD for the difference this month. Yay!

Moments later, I spent time collecting money towards a farewell gift for a colleague who is leaving the company. I find that if I don't organize such events, no one does it within our department.

Twenty minutes later, I received an e-mail indicating that my replacement laptop had arrived. I went to turn in my old Windows 7 laptop for a new Windows 10 one. The IT folks were helpful and pleasant under the circumstances. Every employee is getting a new laptop, so to orchestrate such a massive change takes a ton of patience.

Naturally, my configuring everything ran into bumps. I needed a new cable to connect one of my existing monitors to the new HDMI port on my laptop. The folks who had those cables were unavailable. Luckily, I bumped into my colleague in the washroom who had an extra cable. It made a huge difference trying to do work on a 14" screen for most of the day to a larger 32" one!

Of course, I couldn't download all the software applications that I needed from our company portal. I spent some time with an IT person over the phone to troubleshoot the issue. Ah, fun!

Tonight, I let my laptop run, sync, and sort itself out at home. Magically, everything works now. I can download the software programs that I need. My connection to the company's intranet works. I'm almost shocked.

I also managed to spend an hour late this morning reviewing documents and answering questions that my students had. We also had a relaxing lunch together with good conversation.

I love a productive day, especially when I chat with so many different folks.