Travelling in December and January

The other night, I booked my first flight in over 1.5 years. I am flying to the States just before Christmas. I'm spending three weeks there.

I am hoping that it'll still be safe to travel by then. I am there to attend three hockey games and to pay my respects to my friend.

I am contemplating whether I want to fly in late November. I can see two hockey games and work away from home, but away from home, if you catch my drift. 

Others putting themselves in my old shoes

I am not as stressed out at work, mainly because I don't lead our software release work these days. It's a nice change.

However, I am the one who troubleshoots and makes decisions on my team that either no one has thought about or can't come to a conclusion. It's one many reason why I did everything seamlessly.

I also find that my colleagues whine and complain about minor things that I never did. Perhaps I need to join in and see how that feels.

I still feel that they took what I did for granted. Now that they are enduring what I used to do, I feel like there's a quieter respect that they have for me.

Verdict: I am not working with my ex

This saga with the ex-guy throwing me into a potential work nightmare is over. Both my manager and his manager told off the persistent project manager that I do not have time to work on this user guide.

The guide is in horrible shape. It is over a hundred pages and was written by a software developer who has no concept of writing a customer-facing document. As an example, his first paragraph has five instances of etc. This guide is both long and ugly.

Yesterday, my manager pinged me on our new messaging app at work. I don't like instant messaging when it comes to work. He had a discussion with his manager. He then asked me whether I have worked with this project manager and my ex before on deliverables that are separate from what I typically do. I have not.

I said that pretty much everyone reaches out to me because they know who I am and like the work that I do. My manager said something nice. He said that I have a good reputation and that I should be proud of it.

It's good to be helpful and nice. I am thankful that I do not have to work with my ex. 

I feel that he recommended my name to this project manager because he wanted to burden me with this work. Rather, he needs someone who can fix up an ugly document and put some sense into it. It was my ex-guy's way of saying that I'm a decent writer.

I do appreciate that he has respected my wish for him to not contact me. I hope that he continues to honour it.

Grocery shopping on a holiday and fireworks going off at this hour

I typically go grocery shopping on Wednesdays. Canada Day landed on a Wednesday this year. I don't recall doing grocery shopping a ton of times in my life on Canada Day, but I did this year.

It was surprisingly busy. Perhaps folks didn't know what to do with themselves. Most festivities were either cancelled or done virtually.

As I write this post, some neighbours are setting off fireworks in their backyard. I am fortunate to be on vacation this week, so I don't mind. I do feel bad for others who need to head back to work tomorrow. Setting them off at 12:30 am isn't exactly being respectful to others.

On a good note, I get paid every other Thursday. My bank tends to deposit my pay Wednesday night at around 10:10 pm. Because Wednesday was a holiday, my pay got deposited on Tuesday night instead. It feels good to have an early payday.

Having video on a work call should not be mandatory

I have a love-hate relationship with my manager. Ever since we have all been working from home, he has been on my case to have my laptop's video camera on when we have meetings.

First, my Internet connection was horribly slow for the last two months. It wasn't until I called my Internet Service Provider and got a new modem that I have seen a huge improvement with my connection.

Second, I don't care much for having video on. A colleague thought that I was shy. I'm not. I choose not to. I am comfortable that way. Always have been. Always will be.

This conversation has surfaced from my manager at least four times. Every time, I have made it clear that I prefer not to have video on. I hate that I have to go through it every time and that he has poor listening skills.

His manager insists that his team have video on. If she were my manager, I would say the same thing. It is not mandatory to have video on all calls. It is a choice. My manager said in a sentence that we "have to." I shot that down immediately.

I have a feeling that he misses seeing me, but can't express it. Well, the more you pressure me to turn my video camera on, the more I will resist. It should not be a forced option.

I feel like he has no respect for me. Is he that slow or thick that he doesn't get it?

It has been a long week. I want the weekend to start now.

Working quietly and not liking instant messaging interruptions

I have a ton of content to put together for work. It's not difficult work. It's volume. I need to have my work done in over a week's time. I simply like to work quietly without any distractions.

I have a love-hate relationship with instant messaging. Getting messages from folks while I am doing a ton of work throws me off.

At work, we have two messaging apps. We use Skype for Business and Microsoft Teams. I am only on the former because my boss does tabs on when people log on and off. It's sad, but it's a virtual punch card machine.

I work enough hours that I don't really care. I get messaged often, which I don't enjoy. I am the longest-serving employee within our group, so I have a ton of knowledge. Everybody thinks that their work is important. Meanwhile, they don't realize that they may be interrupting work that I am doing that is important to me.

I only log on to Microsoft Teams when I have meetings. I haven't figured out a way to block people I don't enjoy working with yet.

Anyway, there is one project manager who has rubbed me the wrong way for at least two years. I have told her countless times that I prefer e-mails than instant messages. The former gives me time to think. I also write back with details.

She can't absorb e-mails. She wants everything quickly and continues to communicate with me through instant messages. I hate all of that.

I let her know that I am super busy. I copied two of her colleagues who know just how swamped I am with work. They also happen to be my past and present project managers on my team. I let her know calmly that I have shared everything with her and don't have an answer on how she should communicate to folks asking about software delivery. I am simply the person who put the contents of a document together. Delivery of this document is out of my scope once it is published.

Meanwhile, she makes it such a big deal to call and instant message me. If my status says that I am offline and she can't reach me, it's because I'm offline. I don't know what is so unclear about that. If telling her three times that I prefer e-mails doesn't sink in, that's her problem.

Dealing with an annoying ex-boyfriend

The ex-boyfriend can't take a hint. I said our relationship was over. He still wants to continue with it.

We were chatting on WhatsApp during our over two-month relationship. I let him know that it wasn't going to work and I let him go by ending our relationship. I also said that I would block him, as I knew how he was the first time I had ended it. Sure enough, he wrote an e-mail to say that we should try again.

I didn't respond to it.

A week later, he used a different phone number of ping me on WhatsApp. He didn't want to acknowledge the issues that I had with him. He continued on as if nothing had happened between us. I blocked him again.

Yesterday, he texted me directly. The graphic with the saying, "You never know how much you love someone until you watch them love someone else," was eerie. I am getting over you. I have no interest picking up a new relationship.

I blocked both his cell phone numbers from getting texts and phone calls on my phone.

I am relieved that I ended it so soon. Clearly, he doesn't respect my wish to end our relationship or me. Not getting proper respect has been my issue with him both times that I ended our relationship. I can't be with someone when he dismisses my needs and thoughts.

Dealing with an inept colleague while on vacation

The new writer manages to still get on my nerves even when I am on vacation. She has no clue about respect for those who are on vacation.

On Christmas eve, she said that she'd wish everyone a nice Christmas. It seemed like a thoughtful gesture on her part.

We have an instant messaging tool that we use at work. I have it installed on my phone, as I take teleconferences while I am driving into work. I frankly don't like instant messaging apps. I find getting text messages to be a distraction.

Guess what she does? While I am preparing fixings in the kitchen on Christmas day, I get a text message on this instant messaging app from her. She's wishing me a merry Christmas. I have mentioned to her in the past that I don't like being contacted through this app. Obviously, this tidbit didn't register in her head, as with most information that my interns and I have relayed to her.

Two days later, I get a status report from her on this instant messaging app, saying that she's "holding down the fort." You would think that this app saying that I have been away for three days would mean something to her. Nope.

I wrote her an e-mail, copying our manager, on instant messaging etiquette. I pointed out that instant messaging is used to contact someone quickly to get a response and when it's urgent. Providing a status report or wishing me a nice Christmas over Skype while I am on vacation is not proper etiquette. I had to spell it out that I do not want to be reached on this work instant messaging app when I am on vacation. I want a work-free vacation. However, writing this e-mail to tell her to stop it and to explain how instant messaging etiquette works wasn't in my vacation plans.

I then indicated to look at our manager's e-mail that wished everyone a merry Christmas. He sent it as an e-mail, not through an instant messaging app. She does not comprehend that instant messages that she sends goes to my personal phone while I am on vacation and she is not. The last person I truly want to hear from on my vacation is this woman.

I got a reply back from her to my e-mail saying that she understood what I had said. I doubt that she truly does. It is so frustrating dealing with someone who seems to be shielded from the world and does not understand what is common courtesy.

Canning delays and relaxing with Airpods

I am hoping that this post is the last one about the toxic diva for a bit. She is still going to be canned. My manager has already initiated the process. The downside is that there is a legal process within the company. As a result, she won't be gone on Monday, so there is a delay.

I can only hope that she is gone sometime next week. She worked from home on Friday. Her e-mails got me so annoyed that my manager hinted that I should watch my blood pressure. Although he has the occasional, odd lapse in judgment, his heart is generally in the right place. He stepped in and replied, putting her in place. I de-stressed by getting a cup of hot chocolate.

He had a conversation with my mini-me, in private. He basically hinted that he was going to give her a number of added responsibilities, which she welcomes. He asked her to keep it confidential until he works out all the details. In other words, he has not let her know about the diva being canned, which I expected.

He proceeded to tell her that we need to be respectful with others and be professional. He added that there have been a ton of negative comments and rumours taking place about others. He confided in me, saying that judging by the look of my mini-me, she nodded. He knew that she had been affected by such negativity recently.

It's interesting that I don't see my working relationship changing with both my mini-me and my student after the diva's negative comments. My stance still holds true. If you have worked with me and know me, you know the truth. I don't need a diva to poison their minds with false, negative perceptions about me.

Thank goodness it's the weekend. I am unwinding. 

I recently got a pair of AirPods. I don't think that I have paid so much for a pair of earbuds. However, the sound is incredible and I am enjoying not being chained to my device. The fact that they automatically connect and disconnect when you put them in their pod case is pretty cool. And, yes, I have them paired with a non-Apple device. They work well.

Dealing with incompetent insurance and drug representatives

I dread talking to both my insurance company and the drug company program these days. It seems that every time I have an upcoming appointment, I get annoying calls from them. I then get all worked up dealing with their stupidity.

Today, just before a meeting at work, my cell phone rang. It was from my insurance company. I let it go to voice mail. I then let it sit there for over three hours before I decided to listen to it.

It was from my assigned case manager at my insurance company. She was the one who gave me the option to either have my insurance company dispense the drug for my eye injection or go with my ophthalmologist's pharmacy. I elected to go with the latter when I was asked a couple of weeks ago. Instead, both my insurance and this drug program went with the former. Um, so why call me to ask what I want and then not respect what I want?

The case manager asked me to call her. She had more questions for me. Again, I wasn't thrilled.

I was driving over to Starbucks. It is frappuccino happy hour and I managed to get my order in before the 18:00 cutoff time. I decided to call this case manager.

She seemed friendly. She didn't annoy me as much as the first time I had spoken to her, simply because I asked her the question that has been on my mind for a while. Why wasn't my decision to go with my ophthalmologist's pharmacy honoured?

She advised that she had told this drug program what I wanted. For some reason, it assumes that everyone wants to go with the insurance company's pharmacy. I flat out said that I get stressed out dealing with all these people who cannot communicate with one another. I told her that these calls get me all worked up, which is contrary to what I need to do. She understood and apologized, saying that she would fix everything.

Finally, I asked her whether I was going to continue talking to these various insurance and drug program folks every time I go to my next appointment. She confirmed that I would not.

I find that when you have too many parties involved in such a situation and they aren't as bright as you'd expect them to be, no one communicates effectively. The patient suffers the most.

I do hope that I don't hear back from any of them anymore. For the first time, I actually felt good after speaking to one of these folks. Let's hope that it was my last.

The other side of the coin - consent is missing

Every story has different perspectives. A few days ago, we got radio and TV host's Jian Ghomeshi's take on why he believes he was fired from the CBC. I provided my thoughts about it, if it was indeed the case that he was unfairly let go because he likes consensual "rough sex" behind closed doors.

Well, the other side of this case is that eight women have indicated that they were beaten by Ghomeshi, without any consent whatsoever. Canadian television actor Lucy DeCoutere shared her story of having her hair pulled back hard by Ghomeshi and being slapped with a decent amount of force on the side of her head by him.

There wasn't any warning. No consent. It just happened.

So wrong.

No woman deserves that kind of treatment from a man. The fact that eight women have come forward, indicating similar abuse, is convincing support that Ghomeshi does not respect women as much as we'd like to believe.

I am sure that the story will continue to unravel. It is simply a sad story all around.

I hope that all these women are doing okay. Perhaps CBC did do the right thing by letting Ghomeshi go. His image is becoming more tainted, painting him as a monster than a respectable, intelligent on-air host.