Having video on a work call should not be mandatory

I have a love-hate relationship with my manager. Ever since we have all been working from home, he has been on my case to have my laptop's video camera on when we have meetings.

First, my Internet connection was horribly slow for the last two months. It wasn't until I called my Internet Service Provider and got a new modem that I have seen a huge improvement with my connection.

Second, I don't care much for having video on. A colleague thought that I was shy. I'm not. I choose not to. I am comfortable that way. Always have been. Always will be.

This conversation has surfaced from my manager at least four times. Every time, I have made it clear that I prefer not to have video on. I hate that I have to go through it every time and that he has poor listening skills.

His manager insists that his team have video on. If she were my manager, I would say the same thing. It is not mandatory to have video on all calls. It is a choice. My manager said in a sentence that we "have to." I shot that down immediately.

I have a feeling that he misses seeing me, but can't express it. Well, the more you pressure me to turn my video camera on, the more I will resist. It should not be a forced option.

I feel like he has no respect for me. Is he that slow or thick that he doesn't get it?

It has been a long week. I want the weekend to start now.

Broke up and feeling good

The other day, when I wrote about how my manager banned me from the office without a ton of compassion, I was dealing with another issue.

I decided to end my relationship with the guy that I have been remotely dating for just over two months. The issue last month about not taking no for an answer and not respecting me? It happened again. I feel good.

I went ahead and blocked him from WhatsApp. I told him that it was over.

The downside is that I had lent him money. I don't expect him to pay me back. If he does, it would be a miracle.

He needed more money to get him out of a horrible construction contract. I put my foot down and said no. The following day, he asked me again. I asked him what part of no was unclear. He completely did not listen to what I had said. So, he's out of my life.

I need to find a nicer guy who respects who I am and what I say. I also need a guy who doesn't think that I am a bank.

It's the weekend. Hope that you have a safe one under these odd, unpredictable times.

Phone chats should not be a part of an agenda!

The new guy in my life had an "agenda" request yesterday. He wants to talk on the phone with me every morning. I gently let him know that conversations should be natural and spontaneous. They shouldn't be scheduled and treated like business meetings!

I appreciate that he wants to talk with me and enjoys our chats, but it becomes overkill doing it daily. Besides, who wants to talk to me first thing in the morning when I am barely functioning and trying to get out the door in one piece?!

He's funny in his own way. Getting to know each other is going well. He listens and trusts me. It's good.

Issues with the new employee continue

I haven't talked about the new employee for a bit. She is definitely the most challenging person to understand. This post explores a lot of my thoughts that I have shared with various folks for the past month.

We have a new authoring tool that most of our team has been gearing up to move to. I have said to this person that she is not ready. She doesn't have the basics down with our current authoring tool. My team consisting of this woman and two students are staying on our current tool.

She is stubborn and adamant to learn the new tool. Her reasoning, according to what she told my two students, is that there isn't a relationship between the two authoring tools. Um, that's because you don't understand the existing tool well enough to see that your transition to the new one will be difficult if you don't have a decent foundation on how things work.

Before the Christmas holidays, I had instructions for my two students to look at the training materials on the new tool. I specifically told the new employee that she wasn't ready and to focus on learning our current tool. What does she do? She watched one of the videos on the new tool.

She has raised a number of red flags in my eyes. The first one occurred during her third interview (it was my second one with her) where she said that she was a "slow learner." I brought that up to my manager, but he dismissed it. He thought that the extra time she spends after work to learn would make her catch up.

I was right. Hiring a slow learning in an IT field is bad.

She has been with the company for over two months. She cannot grasp simple things like knowing that the entire team is away on an all-employee meeting, which means that the team will not respond to her e-mails. She couldn't attend because she had a medical appointment that day and worked from home. Yet, she constantly sent out e-mails and even texted one of my students over work when she got to this offsite meeting that was not urgent. She does not take into consideration whether folks are physically able to respond to her e-mails. She is only thinking about herself.

Most of our department has to do a test that grants you access to this new tool, but for the production (live) environment. I said to this new employee that her main focus is to get up to speed with work so that she takes over one of my documentation software release duties. Her deadline is later than everyone else's to do this test. My manager made the same comment in a departmental meeting last Thursday.

What does she do? The following day, she takes this test. She hasn't gone through all the training materials or videos. She just did the test over and over again (you select either one answer or some combination) until she passed it.

I was annoyed. I told her so on Monday. The fact that she just asked for access to the test environment and was absolutely afraid to even log on was a joke. Now, she has access to a production environment where she could mess up everything with her current "knowledge" that she allegedly proved to possess on this test.

I told her she put the cart before the horse.. How meaningful are the answers that she memorized to ultimately pass this test? Not all that meaningful at this stage.

She doesn't listen. She has difficulty comprehending simple concepts. Yet, she does whatever she feels like.

She pointed out that she's not a linear learner. Yep, it shows. She is all over the map to the point where none of us truly knows what she is thinking. She has no sound judgment about much.

I had a talk with my manager on Monday night. I told him that my students and I have been drilling her with exercises and explaining concepts in multiple different ways. It is the plan that he first devised. It doesn't appear to be helping. I levelled with him and said that she wasn't a fit for this job. He nodded.

The problem is that the company is under a hiring freeze. We let her go and I am back to doing everything. I personally don't want her becoming a permanent employee at this company. She is not pulling her weight. I don't always want to be saving the day because we can't get another employee to fill the void.

On Tuesday, my manager wrote an e-mail to her and copied me. It was a snowday. He basically reinforced that she needs to work on understanding concepts and her job. All of us have noticed that she is great at memorizing, but does not understand what she is spewing out. She doesn't have critical thinking skills. She can't think for herself.

I had this chat with my guy when we were in the States. He agrees that it's probably better to get rid of her than having her pull down everyone.

The current plan is to have my students work with her on simulating a documentation release. We are assessing how she will do within the next two weeks. I have a feeling that she will be at the level that she is currently at -- slow and incompetent.

She's a nice person. She's just not suitable for this job.

Drama with the new diva

The new writer, who is supposed to be seasoned, is causing quite a bit of drama. She's a diva.

On Monday, her desk didn't have a chair. Instead of looking for one, she decided to sit at another desk in a different area.

In our office, we have various neighbourhoods. You belong a specific neighbourhood. She went into a completely different one. The manager there had to ask my manager who she was.

She has since sat there all week. She didn't tell anyone why until my manager asked her. He figured out that she had moved due to her chair disappearing.

He told her that he got a chair. She didn't move back. She then cited that it was dark over in our area and she needs natural light.

Then, there is the review process. I have told her that her work goes through a peer review first (me) before it goes to a technical person. She doesn't seem to get it. I have gone through this procedure numerous times.

My manager has told me that he is seriously considering canning her. I told him last week that she's not the right fit for us. The burden will hit me yet again. Instead of doing what I need to do, I will probably continue to do development work.

This new writer is actually causing more grief than needed. She disappears for a couple of hours each day and has dragged a number of folks to join her.

Tomorrow is a new day. Let's see what happens.

Camping, whining, and showering

My guy doesn't like going camping, but he goes anyway when it's a family event.

"I am too old for this crap," my guy admitted to me, which made me laugh.
"You may need to do glamping instead," I suggested.
"I like that idea. It's not worth the effort to get everything ready."

We talked a bit more. He likes to whine. I am a good listener.

"I heard that there are portable showers. A bird will be looking at my penis," he said.
"Let's hope that the bird doesn't peck at it," I replied.
"I hope not," he confirmed.
"I wish that I were a bird," I told him.
"You'd be a sweet bird," he stated.

I am hoping that he is trying to have some fun.

Careful listening leads to a trip to Walmart

My guy is thoughtful. Sometimes, it blows me away.

The other night, we were talking on Skype. Somehow, our conversation led me to talk about a s'mores machine. I saw one a while back at Walmart, but never got around to buying one. I do love s'mores.

Anyway, we had this text conversation on Skype last night. My guy is still in Seattle:

MG: I went to Walmart today
Me: Ooh, Walmart. Any goodies?
MG: They never heard of the s'mores machine
Me: :(
Me: You're sweet for trying to track one down.
MG: I was hoping they would carry it
Me: I saw one here at Walmart in Stouffville a while back.
MG: It would have been a nice surprise that makes you smile that charming smile of yours

It's thoughtful that he remembered that I wanted a s'mores maker and he took the time to find one. Apparently, you can order the s'mores maker online, but it's not the same case finding one at stores. 

We often have disagreements about hot dogs. There is a hot dog machine available. I'd like one, but he is against my eating a ton of hot dogs, as if I would overdose on them. He told me that I was a bad girl. I like when he does that. It's fun pushing his buttons and teasing him.

Identifying with TV characters when it comes to sex

I am not the type of person who watches brand new shows on TV. I tend to be the one who catches up on them years later. Take Buffy, for example. I still haven't seen the last two seasons, along with seasons three and four.

My guy has been away for over a week. Although I miss him, I am slowly getting used to not seeing him for such periods. It is still tough.

I watched GCB tonight. It was the episode entitled, "Sex is divine." Out of all the storylines that were played out when it comes to sex, my guy and I probably identify with Zach and Sharon the most, respectively.

Sharon had lost a lot of weight and finally got into a pair of jeans that she has not worn in over four years. She is me. I lost sixty pounds within the past year. I fit in clothes that I used to wear four years ago.

There was a scene in which Sharon and Zach had sex in the backseat of their car. My guy and I have done that on numerous occasions, mostly because we get horny as all can be at work. It would be much easier just to find a boardroom. The unfortunate part is that all boardrooms and offices at work do not have doors that lock from the inside. You can certainly lock them from the outside with a key.

There was another scene in which they had sex in their kitchen. Afterwards, they were sitting on the floor and Zach was spilling out everything as if he were a "woman." My guy has told me that he is like a woman in that he likes to chat. I am like Sharon. I don't mind it at all. I like hearing what he has to say. I like that side of him. And no, I don't find that to be feminine in any way.

The final scene of this episode put a smile on my face. Amanda went to visit Luke at a fancy hotel suite. She was nervous about having sex with him, as she has only been with one person. Luke told her that he would wait for her when she was ready -- that she was worth the wait. She, in the end, decided to push him onto the bed and said that she didn't want to wait anymore.

My guy and I started our relationship in a similar fashion. I hadn't been with a man for quite some time. He told me that he wouldn't pressure me to do anything that I didn't want to do. I longed to be with him. It was nice to actually be spanked by him the first time that we hugged and kissed each other.

I do miss my guy. This episode made me smile. We have a good relationship.

My guy is playful. The last time that we were in the backseat of his car, I showed him pictures of me (Costco card and driver's licence) before I had lost all that weight. He remarked that the change was highly noticeable.

I was debating whether to show him my picture on my health card. I had it in my hand and was looking at it. He decided to grab it, but I wouldn't let go. He proceeded to tickle me. I eventually succumbed. It was a lot of fun, even for a ticklish person like me.

Being ticklish is okay. In tonight's episode, Cricket showed that she was ticklish. Blake, her husband, didn't find giggling to be sexy. My guy seems to be okay with my giggling, simply because I can't help it. These days, he uses it to his advantage when we are being playful with each other.

My guy returns on Tuesday. Hopefully, my backside hurting from being thoroughly spanked will also resume.