Panic attack - take 2

I thought that my panic attack would go away after fixing various problems that diva lady had introduced at work on Tuesday. After I fixed a few of them, I still felt tense.

My panic attack has eased a bit, but it's something else that is causing it. I dislike trying to do detective work to figure it out. Sometimes, it's not all that obvious to me.

I'm thinking now that it's the uncertainty that I had volunteered to pitch in and help diva woman with her activities, because her pace is slow to complete them and my manager doesn't have complete faith in her.

Panic is setting in because I am expecting a wave of work next week. It happens to coincide with our software release work. I have let my boss know. He said that diva would roll out a plan either last Friday or this past Monday. I haven't heard a thing.

It's the silliness of uncertainty that is causing my panic attack. Considering that I have experienced worse in the past, I feel that not knowing what diva is up to is causing my anxiety. She has no plan.

So, I just need to work with what I do know. I have work to do and I'll take things a day at a time.

Honesty about anxiety and depression at work

I had a decent talk with my newest addition to my team. One of my students and I were training her on Monday. At the end of the session, what I didn't expect was this woman sharing that she has been depressed and anxious for two years.

It hit home for me. I have been there. So has my guy.

The good news is that she is on medication, which has put her back on track. She feels good. It shows. She is funnier during our team meetings.

I was impressed that she trusted us to share what she has been going through. Add to that mix the fact that her past two team leads have said negative things about her with little justification and my manager asking her to submit weekly reports (she is the only person on our entire team doing this task) can add to that depression and anxiety.

I thanked her for sharing all this information. I told her that I'm happy that she is on my team. She seemed to be absorbing the information well. She also asked thoughtful, intelligent questions today. She has potential. It probably hasn't been noticed by others.

I'm optimistic. I let her know to leave the baggage and negative past work experiences behind her. We are working with a clean slate now. She appreciated it.

Interviews in the city where my guy resides

Friday was quite the day. My manager and I had to drive to a university about an hour away from the office.

My boss indicated that we should leave the office at 09:00 sharp. I am extremely punctual. I actually had to go upstairs to tell my manager to come downstairs to where I had parked in the lot. I was driving.

Already, we were about ten minutes late. My boss isn't the most punctual person. Add the fact that a tractor trailer decided to balance itself on a guardrail between two sets of highways (the collector and express lanes) during rush hour, which affected us, I knew that we were going to be late.

I do have a lead foot. I managed to make up some time, but we were still fifteen minutes late when you factor in parking at the university, walking over to the building that you need, registering, and settling in your new surroundings. Apparently, being fifteen minutes late wasn't too bad. According to our first intern candidate, her interview before ours was delayed by an hour.

One of our current intern students had recommended a taco place by the university. I reached out to her to get some suggestions. She did a nice job. I enjoyed the tacos. My boss is more of the buffet type. He likes volume. You don't get that at the restaurant. I am a foodie who tries anything and cannot stomach plates of food at a buffet. These tacos were tasty.

We had a surprise, unscheduled interview. As a result, our lunch was shortened. We were still running late, but all the candidates were exceptionally understanding.

We interviewed a total of five candidates. The toughest part now is selecting one from the crop. They are talented, bright, and articulate.

The drive back was decent. The last time we did it, it was stop-and-go traffic. It doesn't work well with my boss, who gets carsick easily.

Although I get along fine with my boss, he tends to be a combination of a worry wart and a whiner. It was a hot day, with temperatures easily hitting the 30-degree mark on the Celsius scale. He constantly complained about how hot it was in and out of my car. I ended up calling him crispy.

It is good that I am patient and calm. Otherwise, I would have told him to stop whining and complaining.

I thought about my guy often during this trip. The university is in the same city in which he lives. I wish that the timing were better. Both times where I have conducted on-campus interviews, my guy has been on the road. It would have been nice to have seen him for lunch or something.

Oh, well. We'll try again soon.