Getting HR involved to tell my manager that he's using the wrong field for my start date

It has been 1.5 months since my manager ruined a perfectly fine discussion on our team with my hitting a milestone. It was my ten-year work anniversary.

In our human resources application, there are two dates. One is my start date. The other is my contract signing date. To normal human beings, the former is the one that you go with to calculate how long you have been with the company. My manager went with the latter.

Naturally, I am an anomaly. Because I was involved in a company acquisition, my contract date is roughly two year after my start date. To me and HR, this discrepancy wasn't an issue. To my manager, it was. He insisted that I get it fixed.

He is a jerk.

So, after 1.5 months dealing with HR who said that it was fine and wouldn't make these fields the same, it took an HR generalist to contact my manager to let him know that there's nothing to change. The start date is correct. I actually had to reinforce it by saying that going forward, he should be using the start date.

It is ridiculous that I had to basically tell him that everyone on the team got an e-mail to sign my virtual work anniversary card. He simply ignored it and ultimately looked like an insensitive idiot.

My hitting such a service milestone happens once. I expect a manager to get on board and acknowledge it instead of telling me to get HR to fix an issue that really isn't one.

My manager can ruin a perfectly nice day

I have an interesting working relationship with my manager. Sometimes, I dig what he does. Other times, I shake my head.

Our team has these brief chats at the end of the workday. Last week, he suggested that each person lead a chat with a topic. I was the first person to say that I liked how casual and natural it flows. We think of topics to discuss as if we were in the office, chatting in the lunch room. It should not be a structured meeting. It's a chat.

Yesterday, a colleague congratulated me on my ten-year work anniversary. Naturally, my manager ruined it by saying that in our human resources system, my start date working for the company is September 24 and that I should contact HR to have it fixed.

Why? I told him that I know what my start date is. Obviously, my three colleagues in this chat knew what my start date was, because they signed my virtual card. He dropped the ball by failing to sign it. He got the e-mail. He chose to not act on it.

Anyway, I contacted HR and spoke to a nice guy. I know that my manager won't and wouldn't do it. As noted, in the system, my start date is correct. However, my signed contract date is September 24, 2012. It's practically two years after I started working for the company, which obviously makes no sense! Anyway, he has a separate department who will fix this issue.

It's always nice when my manager ruins such a lovely occasion. It's not every day that one hits a milestone like what I just did. He could have been more attentive. That's just my take on it.

Anyway, my colleagues left me nice messages in my virtual card. They made Monday far more cheerful.

I got to select a gift to commemorate this occasion. I got a fancy tea steeper. I drink lots of tea, so it will come in handy. It will take a month to ship, which is the downside. Luckily, I am patient.

The ex-guy strikes a text conversation

A few posts ago, I wrote about my ex-guy sending me a short e-mail after realizing that I had not sent him any birthday greetings this year. He had included a picture of two purple birds. Purple is my favourite colour. I read that the two birds represented us.

Well, unfortunately, I was correct.

When I was writing yesterday's blog post, he texted me. I fought through putting that post up, as I was upset.

Ever since he has broken up with me, I have not shed a tear over him. I cried on and off yesterday. The hurt and painful feelings came flooding back.

I had not replied to the birds e-mail. Last night, he texted me and asked whether I was ever going to write back to him. In my head, since he ended our relationship, my first thought to that question hasn't changed. I told him that he broke my heart. I had nothing to say to him.

He wanted to chat over the phone or meet. I said that I wasn't interested in the former and that I needed to practise physical distancing from COVID-19.

The annoying part of this text message exchange was that this jerk decided to negotiate terms of a relationship with him. What? He said that it would be the same, except that we'd take out hotel stays and trips together.

I told him off. He claimed that he misses me and the fun times that we used to have. If he truly wanted me back, I would expect him to not take away aspects of our relationship that we once enjoyed as a couple.

I got a number of points off my chest:

• I wasn't interested in talking to someone who broke my heart and has caused me so much sadness
• I let him know that he treated me like dirt and that his needs have always superseded mine
• I pointed out that his conditions and restrictions cited in this new set of relationship terms was nonsense and stupid
• I had no problem telling him that if he had a heart, he'd understand that he was upsetting me by contacting me
• I stated that I wasn't going to settle for these stupid relationship terms
• I dictate the terms -- he doesn't
• I didn't want to talk to him because things aren't the same between us

Yeah, it's sad that he ruined the start of my long Easter weekend. Although I am intermittently sad right now, I am proud that I stood my ground. I'm stronger than I realized.

In the meantime, I am listening to a lot of music to make me feel better.