Avocado sock and a spanking certification for being like Cheap Bastard

I was talking to my guy about the Toronto Christmas Market. I went there a couple of weekends ago with friends.

"Did you find anything interesting?" he asked me.
"There were some unusual items. I found a single sock for your avocado," I said.
"What do you do with this sock?" he asked curiously.
"It keeps your avocado safe while ripening it," I replied.
"Wow," he said.
"I can't make this stuff up. It's all yours for a whopping $20. I sounded like you. I was outraged. I can get a pair of socks at the dollar store for much less," I admitted.
"Yes, you could get it for a dollar. You're becoming me. You are CB-certified," he replied.
"Thanks. That's a high compliment to be certified by you," I replied.
"I'll certify you when I spank that butt of yours and leave a red mark or so," he replied.
"You haven't spanked me for a while. It's long overdue," I noted.
"It is. When I see you again, I want to spank you for being my bad girl," he said.
"You'll need to rectify it soon," I replied.
"You mean erectify," he said, being punny.
"You mean you can erectify the situation. It's all you! I love it. It's clever and funny," I commented.
"That's a first. I didn't have to force you to admit that it was both clever and funny," he pointed out.

I like his certification style.