D is for dildo

I used to blog daily years ago. Graduate school and life got in the way, so I stopped doing it for a while. The fact that I have blogged for several consecutive days is amazing. I have this fun challenge to thank!

Today's theme may seem like a cliché, but it isn't. Yes, I am going to write about my dildo.

When my guy first went to Amsterdam on business (he travels a lot), he wanted to get me a present. He actually got me quite a number of them. I got a stack of stroopwafel, which was yummy to a girl who craves waffles every now and then. He was also kind to get me slippers that are clog-shaped and have windmills on them. They are comfy.

My guy visited the red light district on this trip. It did nothing for him. I remember him coming back to his hotel and wanting to speak to me. He was disappointed being there on the whole, except for getting me my final gift from this trip.

He bought me a dildo. It is flesh-coloured. It is eight inches long. It looks real.

The problem? It stinks. It has this rubber smell that does and will not go away. I have had it for a year now.

For months, I have been trying to air it out, and soak it in various liquids and concoctions. It is still smelly. It is to the point where I can hold it in my hand for thirty seconds and can smell its rubbery odour on my hand for hours.

It is a shame. My guy meant well. I don't want to throw it out. I actually want to use it. He actually wants to use it on me, both conventionally and unconventionally.

Recently, my guy asked me whether he could spank me and tease me with it by rubbing the dildo's tip in various sensitive spots when we are being intimate. I have never heard of being spanked with a dildo. I think that I would need something less cylindrical and thick. I like my silicone paddle, for instance. The flat part of it does wonders. My backside stings after a number of whacks. It is also flexible, which isn't the same with a dildo.

So, right now, my dildo serves as a sundial. It gets to bask in the sun and I can tell time. More importantly, I don't have to deal with the smell indoors and I don't have to throw out a thoughtful gift.