Sunday, September 15, 2013

The end

Last Monday was the day when my guy broke the news. He called my desk phone from a conference room at work.

Next week, we are both in New Jersey for training. He is giving a seminar. I am a participant in a two-week training course. We had plans to stay in the same hotel and sneak into one of our hotel rooms for some quality time. We were also going to share a car rental.

Well, all those plans got dashed when my guy suggested that he stay in a different hotel and that I can rent my own car. I asked him if we could talk in the conference room. He was fine with that, so I walked over there and shut the door behind me.

He told me that it would be best if he let me go. We talked for a while. What upset me even more was that he put a restriction on not going out for lunch or anything together. As a group lunch with other colleagues, it would be fine. Just not as a couple.

It was odd in that he wants to remain friends. However, I don't see that happening if he does not want to have lunch, dinner, or coffee away from work -- basically talking one-on-one. How often can two folks book a conference room to talk quietly about personal stuff?

So, not only was ending a nearly two-year relationship bad enough, but the friendship that he wanted to have was being destroyed with his self-imposed constraints.

He could tell that I was upset. He told me that he had to go, came over to me, kissed the top of my head, gently placed his hand behind my back, and then walked out the door.

I sat in my chair in an empty boardroom at nearly 19:00, alone, abandoned, isolated, sad, and distraught.

Next week in New Jersey will be both awkward and difficult.


  1. Oh cutiebootie, I'm so sorry. Sending you a huge cyber hug:((((((hug)))))

    1. Thanks for the virtual hug, Renee Rose! I certainly need one. It means a lot. =)

  2. Wow.

    I feel your pain. I myself suffered TWO involuntary defenestration events when I was younger in which my soon-to-be exes decided that two and then one* day before Christmas would be ideal days to rearrange the batting order.

    Mercifully, human memory is very selective. One doesn't really remember pain or painful experiences the way one does pleasurable memories-you can remember, for example, that you were in horrible pain. But one doesn't FEEL it. I have found though, that absent any traumatic experiences, one can and does remember the best of an experience or a relationship or just a moment that was sublime and beautiful like a sunrise or a sunset or a moment at a concert when you felt your hair standing right up or a first kiss or the first time with a new partner.

    At least, that describes the best of my experiences. So be strong and of good spirit.

    My name is Mike.

    *-Yes, you are correct. I was once dumped on Christmas Eve.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Mike. I completely agree with you that there is a difference between remembering happy memories versus unpleasant ones. I am struggling through them both. I loved all the good memories that we shared, but I feel sick to my stomach and start tearing up when I think about being let go.

      I am trying to be strong and to stay optimistic. It's tough, but I am taking it a day at a time.

      Thanks for your support. I agree that it is horrible to be dumped before Christmas. You seem to have come out of it fine, so I hope to get through this breakup, too.