Monday, June 17, 2019

Sick, missing, and tired

I am still sick. I will likely take a sick day from work today. Currently, my nose is stuffed up, I'm tired, and I have a slight cough.

Being sick makes me think more about my guy breaking up with me. I miss what we had. I don't miss being hurt, as I'm already there.

He just sent me a video to watch. In his own way, he misses me. It makes me even more upset that he is perfectly fine carrying on. I can't do that. I need time to grieve. He isn't in tune with his emotions as much as I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Although I have moments of sadness, I cannot sob in despair like I did the two previous times that he broke up with me. It's that inner strength this time that demands being treated better. It is his loss. I simply need to move on. It will happen with time.

I took naps throughout the day on Sunday. I felt better after each nap, but I am tired. I believe that I have earned a sick day to shake this cold off and heal from this breakup.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Rocketman, affection, and a cold

On Saturday, I went to see Rocketman at long last at the theatre. I loved it. I love movies about music and the lives of rock stars, both fictional and fact.

At one point in the movie, Elton John is on the phone with his mom, coming out as a gay man. She says to him that she knows, "You'll never be loved properly." It was a sad moment on how removed his parents were at dishing out affection.

It made me a bit sad that I don't have a man to dish out affection these days. I also miss the companionship. They are minor for me right now, as I need time to heal emotionally after this breakup. I decided to buy a book on healing after a relationship ends. Although I am doing well under the circumstances, I still have moments of sadness when memories flood in. Having a resource to get me through it doesn't hurt.

I have a slight cough and a stuffed up nose. I am on cold medication and am drinking a lot of fluids. I hope that the extra rest that I'm getting this weekend will help.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Coming down with a cold, having fond memories, and seeing a movie

The good news is that the workweek is over. My team got our software release work done ahead of schedule.

The bad news? I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. My nose is running and stuffy. I also have a slight sore throat. Ugh!

I took a nap for nearly an hour. It happened two hours ago. It's not a normal thing for me. I am hoping that some extra hours of sleep will kick my cold to the curb.

Now that things are less hectic, my guy not being the love of my life anymore has set in. I think of the fond memories that we have shared, but am also annoyed at how he decided to call it quits. I truly deserved a lot better.

I am hoping to go see a movie later on today. I have amassed a ton of points that it's time to splurge. I also have a movie gift card to use. I need some time for me and perhaps a hot dog.

Friday, June 14, 2019

Raptors win! Raptors are the NBA 2019 champions!

Oh, my gosh! The Raptors did it! They won and are the champions in the NBA for 2019!

Yay! We the north.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

St. Louis Blues are Stanley Cup champions! Here's to beer and Gloria!

The St. Louis Blues have won the Stanley Cup. Yay!

I have had a fun arrangement with my manager. When the Blues win a playoff hockey game, he owes me a beer. He has already bought me one beer. I have three more beers coming my way.

As for me, I promised to play Laura Branigan's song, Gloria. It's the Blues song that's played when the team wins. Deal!

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Startled dreaming about my ex and being taken for granted at work

After a fairly long day working from home, I took a nap. I had been up since 06:45.

I had a dream about my guy kissing me on the lips and holding me like he used to. I woke up startled. I was in a slight panic.

It was a dream. I was relieved.

At first, I thought that the dream signalled that I missed him in my life. It wasn't that. I miss being affectionate with someone who will reciprocate. These days, I hug my stuffed purple sheep and penguin. It's not the same, but I am comforted by them.

Work continues to be stressful. I realize that I have some colleagues who take me for granted. I actually shut a person down because he was whining over a change that I had made to correct the version syntax that he got wrong. Apparently, I am supposed to let the world know about his mistake. He found it a pain to send everyone a revised hyperlink. I told him that my team is busy building documentation builds and pushing out a major release, which finally silenced him. He isn't a quarter as busy as I am.

My incompetent member continues to show me that she is a horrible listener and can't do tasks on her own. I don't understand why I end up with idiots on my team.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Short post for a busy week

It's a busy week at work. Last week was highly stressful dealing with yet another incompetent person on my team. I will need a post to describe that fiasco.

I have finally calmed down about the situation. I am so glad. It was highly frustrating dealing with her.

She has finally realized that she has damaged our rapport. I no longer trust her to independently do her work. She messed up and she knows it. I'll elaborate in a future post.

I am working from home on Tuesday. Sadly, I have an early morning conference call. I am in the office for the remainder of this week. It's not bad, but I would rather be sleeping in.