Monday, October 27, 2014

Private sex life of rough sex the cause for employment termination?

One of the first few podcasts that I listened to when I got my first iPod was Q, which started off as an arts and music podcast on CBC. It was hosted by Jian Ghomeshi, who was the former drummer of Moxy Fruvous back in the 90's.

This podcast grew in popularity, to the point where it became a video podcast and a TV show. He was a decent, intelligent host, who made guests feel at ease.

Jian and I went to the same university for our undergraduate studies. He was several years ahead of me and we majored in different areas (he in fine arts; me in geeky computer science and math subjects).

I say that Jian was the host. It wasn't meant to be such an abrupt ending. He had worked at CBC for fourteen years.

Last week, Jian had indicated that he was taking a leave of absence, to grieve for his father who had passed away.

Well, CBC decided to terminate his employment. That isn't exactly the best timing when one of your shining stars is going through a tough time.

There is a lot more to the story, which is unfolding with every day that passes. Jian was allegedly fired because of his "private sex life," and "false accusations pursued by a jilted ex-girlfriend and a freelance writer."

Jian wrote a long message on his Facebook page. He elaborates on his private sex life with a woman in her late twenties, which he feels that CBC felt was reason enough to fire him:
We saw each other on and off over the period of a year and began engaging in adventurous forms of sex that included role-play, dominance and submission. We discussed our interests at length before engaging in rough sex (forms of BDSM).
Naturally, we need to hear all sides of this story. However, I do not think that Jian is obligated to explain his private sexual life to the world. It is just that -- private. His employer should not make a judgment about him based on what he does in his bedroom and be dismissed as an employee for what he does away from work, if this point is indeed the reason for his losing his job.

As much as I get along with my colleagues at work, I never want to share my private sex life with them. My guy is my colleague, but we are in a relationship. What we do in our relationship, especially behind closed doors is private to us. I would be horrified if I were let go from my job because management found out that I like having my bare bottom smacked hard by an attractive guy who holds my hands behind my back and punishes me. It has nothing to do with how competent I am doing my job.

We will see how things progress this week. Jian is suing CBC for $50 dollars, likely for wrongful dismissal.

In the meantime, it would be nice if Jian could be left alone to grieve for his father.


  1. That is just so wrong! Reminds me of when gays were let go for being gay! I knew a man that was fired from his job because his employer found out he spanked his wife and considered it abuse. Just love how judgmental people are if you do anything they wouldn't do themselves. *sigh* Thanks for sharing.

    Hugs and Blessings...

    1. That's horrible to hear! As long as the rough sex is consensual, no one truly needs to know about the fun you have behind closed doors.

  2. It really happens more and more these days. It seems we have gone more prude again. And as a lifestyle we are as vulnerable as gay people or other minorities,

    No, it is nobodies business, no between consenting adults just their business, but the ignorant are the first to judge. sad but true.

    I wish you old university friend strength.


    1. So true, Han. Although as a people, we have made significant process, there is plenty of room for improvement.

      There are so many sides to this story. Let's hope everyone will have their say and move ahead in a constructive way.

  3. As Cat rightly observes, "community standards" have evolved to the point where having gay sexual relations is now acceptable and no cause for termination. And yet, how different things were 50 or 100 years ago. Perhaps Jian's case will help change what is acceptable. And not to mention the popularity of media properties such as 50 Shades.

    Although his job with CBC may be over, Jian's continued popularity and now notoriety, should enable him to find another on-air job, maybe even one where his sexual preferences need not be excluded from his public personna. For those who haven't read what Jian wrote about his situation on Facebook, here's a link to that:

    Good for you, Cutiebootie, for giving this story the ink it deserves in the spanko media. Whatever the merits of the "case" against Jian, I can't help but feel this is a story folks should sit up and take note of. -- Karl Friedrich Gauss

    1. It's nice to hear from you, Karl. I hope that all is well with you!

      I agree with you. Jian's situation should be discussed and it does change the way folks perceive "rough sex" and consent behind closed doors.

      There are so many facets to this story. As long as there is consent between partners behind closed doors, engaging in BDSM, including spanking, shouldn't be the sole reason for being dismissed from your job, whether that is the true reason in Jian's case or not.

  4. More good commentary on Gian's case here:

    Karl Friedrich Gauss

    1. Thanks for sharing, Karl.

      Here's another good commentary on Jian's situation: