My ex never cleaned out his trolley at the office

Last Wednesday, I was in the office. There are a number of trolleys (lockers on wheels) that are locked at work. A full-time employee can get a trolley to store their belongings, as we don't have assigned desks.

The facilities manager unlocked a bunch of them. There is a high demand for them now that we are at the office more often.

I heard my manager look at the contents of one of the lockers:

This person has a toothbrush. He lived here. He was a trainer. He's long gone.

This trainer was my ex.  He left the company maybe two years ago. He never bothered heading to the office to fetch his belongings. 

The toothbrush detail was interesting. Frankly, he was more concerned about flossing, but the toothbrush was a close second.

I miss the good times being with him. I don't miss being treated like dirt and having my heart torn apart. It took a lot of strength to kick him to the curb when he wanted sex without a relationship. Dumb.

Skype

Microsoft is retiring Skype. Its two-decade existence will be a memory soon. It makes sense as Microsoft can focus on Teams.

In a way, it ends a chapter in my life. Whenever my ex-boyfriend and I would chat when he was on the road, we used Skype.

It's bittersweet. When our relationship was fresh and new, I loved chatting on Skype with him. There were a few times where he removed me as a contact. I didn't know why. He'd eventually add me back. I got anxiety when he did remove me as a contact. It was the same with Facebook. I feared that he didn't want to be with me when he removed me as a contact. I look back and it seems so silly, but it was real and caused a lot of anxiety.

I don't miss the various connection issues that we faced using Skype.

When he broke my heart, I removed him as a contact on Skype. He sent me a contact request. I ignored it.

It was a bit of his own medicine. I'm glad that I could reciprocate.

At work, we use Teams. Before that, we used Skype. I won't miss it.

The ex and I never communicated on Teams at work. He had left the company just before we switched to Teams.

Skype is a good marker. It cements how final our relationship is.

Messaging an old friend

I wrote a while back that I had found my best friend from grade 7. I was contemplating whether to contact her.

Since then, I have been watching her reels on Instagram and hearing what she has to say. It took a recent reel in which she talked about trying to tell folks about her torture through her body language that encouraged me to finally contact her.

I remember her jumping at touch. She would walk fast with her arms crossed in front of her chest when she was upset. She had that flee instinct.

She was brave to state in grade 8 that she was sexually abused. She didn't spill all the beans about being tortured in a cult because she was still a part of it. It was tough for her to escape and be safe.

I am glad that I contacted her. I let her know that I have always believed her. I hope that she writes back. We'll see.

Heading back to work today

I go back to work today. Luckily, our company goes into the office once a week. It's not Monday, so I'm happy.

I will admit that it was nice working a single day between December 13 and now. I will miss sleeping in and focusing on getting better health-wise.

I am down to a mild cough. I also find that I get tired faster. I'm not sure if it's because I have been indulging in carbs over the holidays or if it's a symptom of coughing up a lung.

If you are heading back to work this week, I wish you an easy transition. I am now trying to figure out when I should take my next vacation!

Happy 2025!

Happy 2025, everyone! I hope that it's a joyous, healthy, properous, and memorable year for you.

Earlier today, I got a text message from my ex, wishing me a happy new year. His text is likely due to my reaching out to him last month because I didn't have the funds to check in to a hotel.

He asked me a day later if I had called him. It was disappointing that it took him a day to respond. I felt like it reinforced one reason why I don't want him in my life. He was never there for me when I needed him to be.

I have been on the fence about responding to his text. I decided not to. My reaching out was out of urgency. I don't want him in my life and my calling him wasn't an invitation to start a text chat.